9/6/24

While sorting all the shawls she'd crocheted for Christmas gifts that year, Charmain swore that there'd been a sky blue one, too, but couldn't locate it until vacuumed next to where the tree had been on January 2nd. 

Hedy had been encouraged to take the healing waters down at Lake Sparrowhead, but her innate shyness prevented her from engaging with any of the other visitors, including Helmut, who had demonstrated interest...!

Grandma Eleanor had long since put away her tap shoes, but was delighted when little Greg expressed interest in learning a few of her old combinations.

Even at this early age, future Derby champions, the Coughlins, were fascinated by life in the saddle and after scooting their way to victory (first one to the garage wins!), they'd follow up with a relaxing dip in the pool!

Gladys had an hour and a half before the annual peach cobbler competition down at the Knights of Paducah banquet hall, so she decided to take some sun before undoing her curlers.

Terry was satisfied with this first effort at cake-baking and had insisted on having all the candles for mom Susan's birthday. Susan did manage to retain 3/4s of her eyebrows after attempting to blow them out, too.

8/27/24

Theatregoers at the Chamberpot Players production of "Arsenic and Old Lace" could only look on in astonishment as Evadine Hadley went off book and decided she couldn't kill this one, preferring to keep him around as a dance partner!

Arnetta waited and waited for her blind date to show up at Rango's Red Barn, but Howard looked on from a distance, unsure if he could handle everything she had to offer...

What with the 97 degree heatwave, Arlen decided that fur-covered Bingo needed a turn in the pool lounger more than he did and happily gave up his favorite spot for the afternoon.

While dinner with the family had been a hoot, Evelyn was in no mood to face all the dishes until Renee offered up some liquid courage, which managed to lighten the mood and get her started on them.

As co-founder of The Russellville Players, Rosco Tucker wore many hats and felt it completely within his rights to change the script of their next extravaganza from "Auntie Mame" to "Uncle Dane," with him in the starring role.

Ten years after disbanding, Vic and the Vermins finally were able to get together for a reunion, with all prior interpersonal issues now abandoned.

 

1/19/24

Everyone he knew warned Garry about staying away from the shitty neighborhoods he might come upon during his vacation, but he nonetheless kept taking his chances...

And it was just then, as the land surveyors set up across from his corral, that Eldon wished he'd gone ahead and installed a door on his outhouse.

No one in his right mind ever missed out on Joey's Whisky & Wiener Wednesday get-togethers and August 14th was no exception.

And so Lisa Jan went home and began plotting her revenge against Mrs. Spangler for daring to give her a D+ for her essay on Massachusetts history.

Terrified of getting grass stains on her new white slip-ons, Marlene called up on Steve to transport her from the side door to the car just before the Elder-Beerman Afternoon Tea and Fashion Show.

Razi wasn't told until the morning of the picnic that there'd be swimming, so he had to swiftly borrow his wife's mini-skirt or face skinny-dipping with his coworkers.

10/7/22

Dr. Schoch had a willing participant for his various experimental devices in his wife Mary Agnes, such as for this short-lived hairdryer, which promised a lovely wash & set only minutes after a vigorous swim.

Tensions ran high during the Nightwear Parade segment of the annual Dole County Elks Lodge Pageant, though, as usual, police chief Bernie Stigowicz had a leg up on the competition...

Mrs. Hefti discovered she could save on the cost of a daily school bus pickup by placing little Ronnie outside for the garbage men, since their truck passed right by Cinch Elementary at about 7:50am on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Marlene was more than thrilled with her Bicentennial bathroom makeover and couldn't stop taking snapshots of it day and night, even when husband Chuck was attempting to get ready for work!

An unexpected perk of Clayton's recent CPR training was getting to keep Chris, the mannequin, which made for far less lonely afternoons by the pool.

Medical advancements in cosmetic surgery hadn't made their way to Bedrock yet, thus Angie's new implants made quite an impression on Betty & Wilma...!

:::BONUS PIC:::

 

Deli owner Arch Goldstein was 3rd, shoe salesman Teddy Kenner was runner-up and, as predicted, Chief Stigowicz won top honors, though many secretly debated the decision.

Summer Sillies! 6/27/22

George and the gang decided to mark the transition from chlorinated to saline filtration in his pool by engaging in a spirited piggyback wrestling match.

Janet decided to explore the more recessed areas of the beach in order to find some interesting indigenous leaves and happily found some... on Dennis' swimsuit!

Jorge was amid the rocky terrain panning for gold and, thanks to Timmy having to "go" just above, he sort of discovered some...!

For Norman and Irving, winning was everything, even if the croquet game took them right up to Mrs. Hilliard's sidewalk (and former bay window...)

Kelsey had so much trouble hitting the cars behind him whenever he had to parallel park at Kresge's, he finally installed Geraldine in the back to either help tell him when to brake or to at least soften the blow if he went back too far.

Sometimes the hidden fact that Ramon had secretly posed for Venus magazine let itself be known in unconscious ways when he inadvertently allowed his guard down.

Some February Follies - 2/25/22

Agnes Marie made a deal with son Chet during their stay at the Great Neck TraveLodge. She'd play volleyball with him for 30 minutes if he'd first apply some Coppertone to her and let her sunbathe for the same amount of time.

Raphael and Lisette were elated that the twins were finally of an age to join their act as back-up singers and light jazz dancers for three songs a night.

And so the very first meeting of the Brandywine New Wives Association fell into place, just as soon as Carolee closed the curtains.

After witnessing the teeming crowds at a competing local bar over their new mechanical bull, Robbie Lackey took matters into his own hands and ordered and attraction for his place, too!

Wylie was happy that his kids and their cousins were able to take advantage of the pool on such a scorching day... until he saw that his truck suddenly had only had three tires left on it!

RBF Modeling Agency gave out its annual awards to up and coming employees and Robin got one for most dedicated seriousness for no apparent reason.

Several of the old gang from Rocco's Gym on 58th Street wanted to stage a couple of rematches, but in the end they realized it would benefit their joints and jaws if they did it with puppets instead...

 

4/30/20

And Now...

...The End Is Near...

File Photo: An otherwise peaceful dip in Lake Hollowbottom was about to be interrupted for Len as Uncle Horace prepared to back in and collapse onto his innertube...

An already rotten morning was made worse when Lew woke up thirty minutes late and then was unable to locate a clean uniform for his shift down at Phillips 66!

Though no one on the bus tour had been thrilled that they'd stopped at Stuckey's for some pecan logs, it was Gerald who wound up getting the worst of it from a prankish Howard Lee.

Tensions ran high at that first Mr. Munsingwear Pageant and scholarship contest, especially when Glen soared into the lead with his new kangaroo pouch briefs!

After positively stuffing herself at Cracker Barrel, Donna wondered if she was even going to be able to fit in the seat of her motor coach for the rest of the day trip!

Randall found it so annoying that he was out of batteries and had to run an extension cord from the living room out to the front yard to power his portable radio while catching some rays...

After much hemming and hawing, the gang finally got Garrison ready for his debut at the nude beach... then cruelly sent him in the wrong direction to the clothed one!

 Today, April 30th, 2020 marks seven years to the day that Krazy Kaptions has been in existence. First seeing life as a personal feature on Facebook that was very popular, I moved it to its own site in order to reach a broader audience and share the laughs. But (almost) no one came. The seven-year experiment has been fun - enhanced in no small way by the few, devout regulars who came and read and commented - but the time has come for it to end.  Compared to my principle site, Poseidon's Underworld, Krazy Kaptions received less than one percent of the hits...! Literally 0.008% of what the other site receives. And that's after seven years. So I'm afraid it's time to close the album. And with thousands - literally - of pictures posted here, I'm running out of new and fresh ways of remarking on them. There's no point in repeating myself. Thank you to everyone who supported this site and to all the countless, endearing subjects who showed up in all these beloved snapshots. You brightened my life with your vintage charm. Which brings us to...

The End!

4/16/20

As the first and only preteen mortician and funeral director in Springfield, Jason not only did a surprisingly great job, but also kept mourners' spirits light with a few yo-yo tricks directly after the graveside services...

Little Jesse Ventura's parents had an inkling that their boy was going to grow up to be a pro wrestler when he grabbed his cousin Linda's life-size doll and began battering it around his playpen, ultimately pinning it to the floor!

Sylvester just loved operating his little side-business as a Fire Island taxi driver for one. Not only did it provide welcome supplemental income, but it allowed him to get to know some of the local tourists a little bit better!

4/14/20

As she sat there with her Hi-C punch, pretzels and Pringle's, Denise had to face the fact that - even at the head table - this was the shittiest wedding reception she'd ever been a part of...

Once the new highway went in, Deerfield Terrace just wasn't attracting the same number of guests that it once had. So the owners stuffed and mounted Raymond and added him to the entrance display. Interest in the place promptly increased demonstrably.

Jessica and Frank had worried unduly that their getaway to Pebble Beach was going to be routine, but once they stumbled upon Rafael, things took a far more interesting turn and it wound up being one of their most memorable trips ever!

Leftover Bonus Easter Pic!

Carole could not have been more fortunate than to bridge her waning days as a Playboy bunny with a transitional gig as an Easter Bunny for hire.