1/19/24

Everyone he knew warned Garry about staying away from the shitty neighborhoods he might come upon during his vacation, but he nonetheless kept taking his chances...

And it was just then, as the land surveyors set up across from his corral, that Eldon wished he'd gone ahead and installed a door on his outhouse.

No one in his right mind ever missed out on Joey's Whisky & Wiener Wednesday get-togethers and August 14th was no exception.

And so Lisa Jan went home and began plotting her revenge against Mrs. Spangler for daring to give her a D+ for her essay on Massachusetts history.

Terrified of getting grass stains on her new white slip-ons, Marlene called up on Steve to transport her from the side door to the car just before the Elder-Beerman Afternoon Tea and Fashion Show.

Razi wasn't told until the morning of the picnic that there'd be swimming, so he had to swiftly borrow his wife's mini-skirt or face skinny-dipping with his coworkers.

12/19/19

Monica wasn't psychic, but somehow she just had a strong feeling that she was going to LOVE her new studio apartment at Fashion Park...

And just like that, the angel Cynthiana was plucked from the sky and had her wings rendered from her body...

There was no real scientific correlation, but it seemed that on days when Terrence was doing pool maintenance across the street, the Bar & Grill customers with window seats tended to order more beef and stay in their seats longer than usual...

12/17/19

Only a year and a half prior to The Six Million-Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman, there were The Five Million-Dollar Man and the Bionic Lady, but their batteries went out after only a few weeks as the transformation process still hadn't been perfected at that point.

Even though he was independently wealthy, Randolph was only too happy to put in two days a week as a California lifeguard, so long as he was chauffeured to the beach and disrobed by his personal valet Tad.

Veronica insisted on having Sebastian in her school photos since he had been instrumental in helping her to attain the right amount of success and popularity at Salem High... he and her book of spells, of course.

 Bonus Pic!

It was just about this time that Sebastian began to assert himself more fully, preparing for the eventual takeover of Veronica and her household.

10/29/19

After the meeting took place, Chet began to wonder if he had misheard his neighbor Lawrence when he asked him to come over one afternoon and compare "duck" size...

Day one of sitting alone with his son Tad, Bryan had had his shirt spat-up on, his pants riddled with stewed carrots and now he felt the unhappy sensation of an overloaded diaper oozing onto his shorts!

Marjorie looked forward each month to her latest issue of Cat Fancy magazine, but so did Serena, so they always had to cuddle up and browse through it together...

10/10/19

Harmon had done nothing but sit and hiss at his owner Cathy's mysterious new interloper until finally she decided to pick him up and introduce the two formally. Thereafter, Harmon developed a bit of an unhealthy infatuation with the clock (which he nicknamed, "Simone!")

While all the shipwrecked seamen from the U.S.S. Pipedream had been praying that some food or other helpful supplies might wash ashore, the weren't exactly disappointed when a case of Hamm's beer was suddenly deposited onto the beach!

Though Mildred won scads of compliments for her Sunday morning ensemble, she couldn't help but grit her teeth that she'd lent her sister Mabel her pink and yellow purse for a VFW dance several months prior and never got it back...!

5/14/19

Liza ran into a real issue that Halloween because she was all made up and halfway into her Cleopatra costume when Rich came by informing her that they needed to go as ghoulish zombies instead!

Having replaced Monica's stuffed cat with his own demonic self, Lucien awaited her usual bedtime ritual so that he could then rest on her face and suffocate her overnight!

After a long evening at the Shaker Island Festival and Fish Fry, Patrice was ready to curl up with three of the treats she'd brought back home, her two stuffed bears and Leroy (not pictured.)

10/18/18

Lt. Blaine's visits to Carole brought out the animal in her (and drove all her other cats wild, too!)

Since it was, after all, her seventh trip down the aisle, Geraldine opted for a simpler look than some of the ones she'd sported for previous matrimonial ceremonies...

Despite her down-turned expression here, Bonnie Rae was actually rather happy with Roger's parents' basement rec room because a) it had reasonably high ceilings and b) there were no ceiling fans or low hanging HVAC ducts!

4/19/18

Troy lost his white mat on the very first turn of the water slide and so, per the strict rules of Tubes o' Fun amusement park, he had to get out and walk the rest of the way down the set of flumes...

Vinne, JoJo and Randall were really bummed that the snooty management of Hilton-Jacobs Community Pool made them exit the water for not using proper swimwear, especially since they'd gone to the trouble of trimming all the fringe off their cut-offs.

Jennifer thought she'd really hit the dating jackpot with dreamy Cliff, so she had him over for an elegant home-cooked dinner, but Kiki was more skeptical and did everything she could think of to drive him (far) away...

3/22/18

Tanya Jo wanted to have a picture snapped with her and Rufus and his birthday present - a live, gift-wrapped mouse - but before anyone could get the camera ready, Rufus tore the bow off and gobbled everything else down whole!

Velma still had a week and a half until her next paycheck from Everything's a $1.50, but she opted to have Cissy and Mou Mou groomed rather than have her own hair cut and styled.

Barbara was so pleased with her new mail-order wig from Prudential Imports that she threw a dazzling dinner party in order to show it off. But then that show-off Amanda had to show up and try to out-do her with a set of overwhelming ringlets... (Prudential Imports.)

3/6/18

Herbert and Janice were all set to man the bar for Ted and Elaine's engagement party, though they would find out the hard way later on that the paper towel dispenser behind them was only stocked with 4 sheets and no one knew where any others were stocked!

Easter time for Dorothy Jo, Emily and Janet, though the day was slightly marred at picture time because, according to Emily, "the cat ate" her bonnet during the night before...

Elizabeth was so thrilled that the local IGA was finally carrying Eye of Newt and Goat Sweat in their spice aisle. Now she could really whip up a powerful spell to get that Mrs. Cranappel from the down the street for good!

1/11/18

As the fur on her favorite winter coat had worn through and Jennifer had an important first date coming up, she wanted the local tailor to redo it as soon as possible. He asked her to bring her fur of choice to his shop, but she had trouble making up her mind which would work best!

Another scorcher at Camp Hanes during a photo op. Private Marx, front row center, decided to fashion himself a fake mustache while Lt. Munsing, back row second from the right, declined to even slip on pants for the occasion.

Thomasina just knew she was going to get at least an honorable mention for her striking hybrid carrots at this year's Harvest Moon Festival. And her husband Clem thought they were great for separating the corn from the mashed potatoes and gravy on his dinner plate.

12/14/17

For this commemorative photo at The Magnons', everyone was encouraged to grab his or her favorite pet and place it upon their lap. It just so happened that Reb's favorite pet was Marlene...!

Cecilia had saved up years and years worth of her bank teller salary in order to enjoy a lavish California vacation. On this day she could barely wait for Chet and Garry to drop anchor on the boat and then drop anchor onto HER!

William, Edward and Langston weren't at all happy to be dressed up and forced to sing and dance back-up for a musical agent, but once Langston got a look at little lead singer Gladys Knight, all was forgiven and The Pips were ready to roll!

9/12/17

Rebecca Sue was deeply disappointed to accidentally sit on one of her brother's Easter eggs and discover that it wasn't actually hard-boiled, forcing her to face everyone head-on for the rest of the afternoon!

The stand-off was soon to come to an end... This was the day that Luthor was finally going to take out that damned obnoxious, staring, potted iris once and for all!

For two months prior to his summer trip to Sanibel Island, Harvey used his new Trim Twist exerciser every day at the office... and the results were showing!

8/10/17

At long last Ruby finished the crocheted bed-jacket to coordinate with the afghan she'd done two months prior. If only she'd thought ahead to de-claw Pericles...

For the anniversary of their first date, Natalie Ann wanted to commemorate that fateful morning when Randall stopped into the Thrifty Grifty and chose her cash register with which to pay for his Pabst Blue Ribbon. So she slipped into something comfortable and used a can of the stuff to beer batter some zucchini for dinner.

Trying to snap a quick shot of the family was tough enough, but ever since Rembrandt put on several extra pounds, Elaine struggled to hold on to him while Aunt Fran diddled around with the camera!

7/6/17

Angus tended to get along okay with Tinkles and ordinarily wouldn't have minded the bunk-bed setup that their owner Miss Allison created for them. However, many times his upstairs bunk-mate was too lazy to get up in the middle of the night and head for the kitty litter, creating an unfortunate scenario for him...

One of Peru's top community theatre groups became the first to adapt "The Fantasticks" into a Spanish language production and it ran continually for six years!

On her very last day before retiring from the Princess Line, Julie McCoy hosted a life preserver splash-down contest which was a lot of fun for the guests, but sort of drench the nearby appetizer buffet.

6/27/17

Theo was forever complaining to Elvira that she ought to cut her hair to a more flattering length, but she rightly thought that before he came complaining to her about her own styling, he ought to get rid of the mop he had on his own head!

Lee was thrilled that the old "Benedryl in the beer" trick had worked on Clint on the very first try, but his next hurdle was hoping that Clint's date Doreen would remain engaged in conversation with the other people hanging out at Gacy's Cafe.

And so, after this tumultuous first date, which ended with plenty of scratching, clawing and torn clothing, Rhea and Claudette had to give up on their dream of mating Harvey and Clementine...