4/30/19

Thanks to his time in The Cub Scouts, Terry was able to use his buddy Clark to determine what time of day it was. His protruding nipples acted as sundials on the broiling beach so long as he was positioned the right way...

Initially people had faith in Marilyn as a nurse, until this instance when she was asked to take Liz's temperature and instead hooked up the blood pressure instruments. The real problem, though, came when she was asked to check Liz's reflexes...!

Irmadeen had no interest whatsoever in Stu's hobby of square dance calling. She was more of a cha-cha and rumba gal. But somehow opposites attracted nonetheless and they maintained a healthy marriage for many years.

4/25/19

Heinrich, Erich and Johann were hell bent on proving their strength by tearing off various pieces of their military housing... until one of them picked the wrong chunk and the whole thing came tumbling down like a house of cards!

Anjanette was so driven to appear as the next centerfold in Dog Fancy magazine that she coerced her owner Margaret into taking her to the golf course for a series of provocative candids that could then be submitted to the editor...

Among the various things that both Cheryl and her boyfriend, Corporal Jesse Brown, had in common was their their love of and deep need for helmets.

4/23/19

Long were the days of Robbie's confinement to Sirocco Island following his shipwreck until one day he happened on a sole native girl, who he named Wednesday and who kept him company for years afterward until his eventual rescue...

Tina and Dawn had no inkling when little Stevie left their town three years prior that he would one day return as a reigning Mr. Hackensack and be able to lift both of them at once without so much as breaking a sweat.  

Gerry Ederle stunned everyone at the picnic by declaring that he was going to swim across Lake Erie, which he did, though a wide-mouth bass got hold of his trunks about 1/3 of the way there!

4/18/19

It wasn't that she meant to be rude, but Imelda simply couldn't contain her giggles when she notice that Princess Yvonne had somehow managed to get a bacon-wrapped scallop caught in the back of her stiff coiffure!

There was no time to question their decision to wear such slick material as no-iron perma-poly as they slipped over the precipice, but if they had to go at least Helena and Irv went together...

When he saw how thrilled Ladonna was over the silver-plated goblets he got her for their anniversary, Rhett was doubly glad he'd thought to put a bottle of Manischewitz in the fridge before she got home from LuAnn's Cut 'n Curl.

4/16/19

Initially reluctant to work undercover on the vice squad, Sgt. Sammy Sirocco eventually grew to love it and sometimes even brought part of his work home with him!

For her eighteenth birthday, Gilda was informed by her parents that she could have one free cosmetic procedure paid for, so she instantly set to work on figuring out which of her features she wanted to improve upon first!

Marlene and Carolee had no inkling whatsoever when they booked their cruise that the dates coincided with the North American Pirates Preservation Association's annual getaway, nor did they realize just how much fun pillaging and looting could actually be until this trip!

4/11/19

Although Georgie liked spending Saturdays and part of Sunday with his Grandpa Chester, he had to admit he preferred the unfiltered Camels he got at home over the Winstons that were on hand here.

Because gypsy fortune teller Madame Rhue had correctly predicted that Claudia would be a bride within six months, she invited her to the ceremony and to the gala reception at her parents' deluxe two-family.

June, Carol, Goldie and Augusta loved to entertain the Ladies Gardening Association with their quartet song salute to The Four Seasons.

4/9/19

Wally could make heads turn in his usual macho guise, but he found that he could positively stop traffic as Wanda after 10:00pm!

Bengt, Anneli, Anneka and Bertil had the wild notion to form a singing act and, using their first initials, go by BAAB, but were distraught upon hearing about ABBA, so they abandoned their plans in dismay...

Ensign Gerber was petrified of having to go to the bathroom during his long overnight watch period, during which he was not allowed to leave his post, so eventually he got creative under his uniform...

4/4/19

Grandma Porter found out the hard way how advanced little Sam was for his age when she asked him if he wanted a grilled cheese or some tomato soup and instead he trotted out to the kitchen and announced that he'd like a chuck roast with braised new potatoes!

And with that Miss Kitty sent Laverne and Nellie out of Dodge City and away from The Longbranch on the very next stage, telling them as they boarded that no one wanted "their kind" corrupting her fair town...

And so Uncle Rob was crowned King of the Mardi Gras as his evening of babysitting his three nieces and two nephews came to an exhausting conclusion.

4/2/19

Happy April Showers

from Krazy Kaptions!

In a typical moment of confusion for Lorna, she was blindfolded and instructed to play this fun baby shower game, but eventually grabbed a broom handle and began to burst what she thought was a pinata, but which was actually Cheryl Jean's beehive!

Mary Ann was initially thrilled with the gift of lingerie from her cousin Bernadette until she realized that the piece had tell-tale signs of having been taken in and looked oddly similar to the XXL nightgown that she'd given to Bern at her own shower two years prior!

All of Julie Marie's coworkers down at the Ford Transmission Plant wanted to emphasize child safety at her shower, so they got her this extra thick mattress pad for the cradle and chipped in for a car seat that came complete with a safety belt...