9/8/14

...And so the potentially fateful meeting between Randolph and Jessamyn was spoiled because Randolph had a sudden flashback to the stewed cranberries and small curd cottage cheese he'd been fed for lunch.

Mr. Colgate decided he'd better have the family pose for this photo before Crystal knocked out any more windows (or any more of Mark's teeth) during her extended preparation for Hammercrest Middle School's drill team tryouts!

Several folks in Lazarus County found it just a bit too coincidental that the Cottintell kids always seemed to win the annual Easter Egg hunt, with many pointing to their father Pete as the primary culprit...

Marianne spent many an evening lying on the floor by the phone awaiting a call from one of her male classmates, but for whatever reason they opted not to ask her out after daylight had passed.

After this encounter with Cliff, Marsha made it a decided point never again to drive up to the summer cabin on Lake Woebegon without being sure to remember his twenty-four pack of Weidemann beer (and a bottle of Anacin!)

Mere hours before their third concert, Open Wound members Kris, Cigg and Howie decided they'd better go and grab a few more sunglasses and belts from Dianne's Accessory Hutch.

9/5/14

Valerie had no intention of allowing one of the bachelors at the reception to get the joy out of retrieving Krista's pretty garter. In fact, she decided to nab it for herself before the ceremony had even begun!

Everything had gone fine for Parker as he hollered for daddy to push him higher and higher in the swings at Hook & Eye Memorial Playground until his belt loop made contact with an upright crag of chain link.

Harv thought it only right that both his wife of thirty years, Joyce, and his prior wife of thirty years, Hilda, both get to pose for his grandson David's wedding portraits.

Punishment for double-parking was severe in Lockheed Village, as Denise found out the hard way, but fortunatelys other who'd been in her shoes were kind enough to keep her refreshed in the blazing sun with a couple of pints of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

It's not that Sheldon didn't appreciate his Aunt Goldie's generous gift, but this was the largest chew toy he'd ever seen and getting it up on his chair was so much work he almost dreaded having to locate the squeaker!

Even though she should have been consoled with the fact that she'd landed Alan, Misty couldn't help but remain jealous of Tracey because somehow she seemed to have that special something that Misty lacked...

9/3/14

During some of those long, lonely, boring tours of duty at sea, Chet could occasionally be found on his bunk with some cheesecake, rooting around in his nuts...

Lilypat found out moments after this snapshot that little Armie was bound to be a family doctor or a podiatrist, for not only did he check her reflexes with incredible vigor but he also tried to give her hammer toe!

One of Lenore's favorite summer pastimes was to load little J.J. into his stroller, walk him down to the playground and then park him in the hot sun while she took part in all the rides and activities!

Time and again, Steve had asked Amelia not to park her bike in the grass when he was about to mow, so her threw her and then the bike across the privacy fence where Mr. & Mrs. Toro had to deal with them...

Rue and Kevin were a very symbiotic couple and loved to spend plenty of time together in close quarters, which was not only beneficial emotionally, but also saved them money since Kevin hardly ever wore down his shoes...

And so Bryce and Jonathan waited until they were sure that Bryce's wife Sunny was completely under the spell of her specially-mixed Singapore Sling before embarking on their animal-like love affair...

8/29/14

Contrary to what many people might have expected, Monique was actually more than happy to borrow mother-in-law Elizabeth's fur wrap for the Thatchy Mound Golf Club Dinner Dance. But the hood would have to come off...

After this badminton training session with Steffi, Edgar found out the hard way just how long the stem was on his favorite pipe. He had no idea he'd ever have that much of it in his throat!

After their piping hot pizza arrived at the dorm, Jim, Gene and Freddie set out to prove to one another which of them had the tongue most scorched from the steaming sauce and cheese!

A happy time for most people, Petey found Easter to be a strangely threatening experience,especially when he was told to wait at home base during the Dippelman Shopping Center Easter Egg Hunt while the younger kids got a head start...

Scamp was never one to pose for photographs until his owner Velma, a leather craftswoman, began concocting various smart-looking harnesses for him to model. From that point on, he was never too far from a camera.

File photo from a very rare 1960s experiment with backseat, kid-friendly airbags, which didn't end up working toward protecting youngsters, but did make volunteer Judith Ann happy that she'd offered to test them.

8/27/14

Yes, there were plenty of sneers and jeers and attacks on his manhood, but Theo didn't need to prove anything to anyone by bagging a ten-point buck. He was fully content with the miniature ram he'd caught in the backyard...

The blizzard of '46 kept many a child at home and out of school, but Shirley Jane was industrious and, with the help of faithful Scout, was able to arrive at the classroom every morning on time by way of "dog-sled."

Barbara had bellyached so much during the school board inauguration about Cliff and his inferior education policies that finally he turned on her and told her to call someone who cares. So, wasting no time, she did!

Though it didn't look from the size of her packages that it was going to happen, Inez' fondest birthday wish was for a new, lower-pile rug that offered less resistance against the legs of her walker.

Until such time as Davey took his nap as instructed, Mandy threatened him with a face full of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee at the supper table. Unfortunately, as time wore on, he began to look forward to it!

It wasn't that Virginia and Ozzie didn't appreciate their son Greg's gift of new artwork. It's just that they worried whether the black frame dominated their living room wall and, perhaps, clashed with the already crowded display of floral plates.

8/25/14

Meredith had already burned through four prior accompanists who didn't seem to understand the tempos she was going for in her set of American folk standards and, frankly, it looked as though Dolly wasn't going to make the grade either!

Being raised in captivity among the surprisingly-advanced Chippewa tribe wasn't quite the horror that Roger expected. The only real down-side was the headache that came after a Friday evening social filled with tom-tom drums and cigar smoke.

Brett reveled in the fact that he was top salesman of Polaroid film at Irv Finkelman's Camera Shack. What he never revealed was how adeptly he demonstrated the wonders of instant photos by taking select customers into the back room for a quick flash!

And so it was that Mr. & Mrs. Topplemeyer bought the story of how the slide in the backyard pool "just broke."  That is, until the day when they got these pictures back from the shop of Cliff, Fallon and Laila's little display of horseplay the day of the breakage...

The first day of school for Enrique held every promise of being spectacular, for he not only had a fresh body wave in his mullet and a new jacket from the Victory Tour collection, but he also had won a lucky rabbit's foot at the recent St. Angelo Festival!

While Mopsy and Flopsy presented absolutely no issues at all, Carol was left with no choice, but to cover the love seat in plastic thanks to Bud and Sprinkles...

8/22/14

And so, though it took ages to develop before anyone found out about it, Mary Ellen performed the very first recorded "photo bomb" during this serious shot of Stanley, third assistant lifeguard at Salty Ridge Beach.

The birds could sing all they wanted to and the sun could peek out to its heart's delight, but Sally had no intention of emerging from her tent until her curlers had dried and she could greet the world in her own usual, spectacular fashion...

Unable to speak, Clarissa couldn't warn her family of the abominable two-footed creature heading their way at the wedding. Fortunately, it merely turned out to be the mother of the bride in a particularly odious confection of a dress.

Harold hollered for all three of the kids to look into the camera and express their true feelings about the above-ground swimming pool he'd assembled that morning.

Having perused the Sunday TV program supplement thoroughly, Herbert informed Evelyn that there was absolutely nothing on worth watching and that they'd better figure out something else to do that evening!

Knowing that Judy had a pair of the largest ears her parents had ever seen, they took her to the zoo in an effort to make her feel better, but when she removed the bonnet, even Lucy the elephant was stunned and felt puny by comparison!

8/20/14

Although Eloise was handling the incoming call load to Tomlin & Associates pretty well on her own, it still rubbed her the wrong way that her coworker Madge chose to read Peyton Place while on the clock.

Bonnie Rae enjoyed showing off her new curly-que for a quick photo until the pull cord on the retractable window shade caught hold of it and jerked her up near the ceiling!

Celeste was having a whale of a time rifling through the "gay cafe curtains" (on sale for a buck apiece) until she overturned the wrong one and there was Christopher all wrapped up inside one!

When Sandra's husband was designing her dream kitchen, he was smart enough to install a window over the kitchen sink to accommodate her bullet bra as she did the nightly dishes.

Robert Knievel's mother took a moment to photograph her daredevil son on his new tricycle, never dreaming that this afternoon's folly would ultimately lead him to take the first name "Evel!"

Each of the gals had a different way of enjoying their Trini Lopez albums. Gail liked to follow along with sheet music, Roxanne broke out her guitar and Selma developed her own challenging dance routines.

8/18/14

Richie noticed the sign above the whirlpool at The Shady Culvert Motel which read TOPLESS BATHING PROHIBITED and figured he ought to hedge his bets just in case!

Holly Marie was so pleased that Mort offered to watch little Jack in the evening while she resumed her position as chief cocktail waitress at The Salty Barnacle and knew that he'd phone her there if anything went wrong...

In hindsight, one of the greatest decisions Larry ever made was installing an in-ground swimming pool and taking an early retirement while all his neighborhood pals still had to report to the office each morning.

Lynda had perfected the art of looking happy and natural each time a car drove by as she dragged Mrs. Nusbaum over to her family's five and dime store prior to opening in order to force her to unlock the safe!

It was at this precise moment of the family reunion, when she was shown her remote seating assignment, that Hilda realized just how little her husband Lawrence's family cared for her...

No sojourn to Gatlinburg's Christus Gardens was complete without an overnight stay at Dos Jesus Moter Lodge and Cheese Barn as Rita knew from years of experience.