9/11/15

Nadine didn't mind Bitsy's ears standing up the way they did. After all, she was a dog and was always on the alert, but for Carole, she insisted they be covered up by a camouflage hairstyle until they'd saved up enough money to have them pinned...

During that tough first year at Gallagher School of Illusion, Tina made many attempts to levitate her Aunt Rhonda's coffee table, but usually only managed to break a crystal ashtray or two in the process.

Their $60 perfume didn't do it, their hot new outfits from Casual Corner didn't do it and, ultimately, even Cyndi and Sherri's climbing up onto the bar at Tailgunner's didn't manage to gain the attention of any of the men who were there, even though no other girls were in sight!

Aunt Judy, Grandma Pherle and Aunt Barb were thoroughly entertained by little Kelli's cheerleading routine for the University of Michigan. Trouble was, they didn't yet realize she had a new cheer and a different set of pom-poms for every school within a 500 mile radius and was going to be performing each one in succession!

And so, as was her usual routine, Amanda stood up at the Ross's Fourth of July Bruncheon and recited "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" while Gerald played an instrumental 45 on their high-fidelity stereo.

It wasn't that they had anything against Uncle Jed or anything. It's just that a week-long stay at his mule farm was always adversely affected by the fact that they couldn't play with their skateboards or roller skates on the dirt paths and they were too far out of range to pick up any decent stations on their transistor radios.

Just because he and his fellow sailors had become shipwrecked and were running low on provisions was no reason that Andy shouldn't take a few minutes to try and even out his tan, especially that pesky area along his inner thighs...