11/6/13

A forerunner to contemporary "Save the Tatas" fundraisers was this breast cancer benefit at Rolling Hills Golf and Jai Alai Club in 1959, which turned out to be surprisingly successful and led to a bi-yearly event.

Jack had no real interest in dressing up to go trick-or-treating, but was content to stay inside and play Talk Show Host with "Kitty" Carlisle as a guest and Franklin the pumpkin sidekick, to the delight of his bemused family.

West Virginia's first attempt at a casino came in 1974 with the ill-fated Four of a Kind Funhouse and Grill.  It was later discovered that the cocktail waitresses hid extra aces in their hair, which they then slipped to dealers in trouble.

Among the more progressive military installations of the 1950s was Fort Sunny Bottoms, Mississippi, where only the front gate guard was required to put on something more than his birthday suit since the public was able to see him clearly.  

Initially, Renee found it scintillating to become a groupie to singing cowboy Roy Rogers, but in time she discovered what his wife Dale already knew.  After everything was boiled down, his heart truly belonged to Trigger.

And with that, a potentially happy holiday portrait of the Gagglesons led to a night in the ER when little Tad (front and center, holding the bottle) had to be fitted for a whiplash collar...

11/4/13

By this point, Fred was really, seriously regretting having driven Mona in to town to take advantage of the Ben Franklin store's 75% off clearance fabric sale...

And so, once more, an attempt by Grandma Louise to get a nice shot of the front door and stoop was spoiled by the family suddenly congregating to the right, near the camera.

Fay positively adored her new puppet Kongo and her parents were pleased... until the night she went missing and all that could be found were paw prints leading away from the house and a few telltale banana peels along the way!

Though it seemed like a good idea at the time for Patricia, daughter Caroline and great aunt Hope to pose on the floor by the tree, it wound up being less of an inspiration when Hope had to be served her Christmas dinner in a tray on the floor when she couldn't get back up...

Despite his still-busy schedule as a former President of the U.S., Jimmy Carter still found time for important personal events in his family's life, such as daughter Amy's first day at Brown University.

The sun was almost in before Sara Lee mastered the collapsible lounge chairs that dotted the lawn of Miss Cheever's Reducing Spa and Retreat.

11/1/13

Heinrich loved to play on his Hindenburg-mobile, but his father Johann always had to carefully monitor how much hydrogen was in it, lest history repeat itself...

All the time leading up to the Elks Soda Hop Social, Laurene worried that her husband Jay would FIGHT with his ex-wife Suzanne, not get along like gang-busters!

Noralee had been listening to Carole's story about her trip to Carlsbad Caverns for a solid twenty minutes with there never once being a hint that the promised Sloe Gin Fizz might somehow be coming to fruition any time soon.

Ensign Clyde was a stickler about sailors walking across his freshly swabbed deck, which led to some interesting scenarios whenever someone truly needed to cross from one side to the other...

Unlike 93% of all other children on Christmas morning, Greggie actually opened each of his presents HOPING to find pants...

The wide smile on Kip's face came from knowing that as soon his mom snapped the picture and headed off for the weekend, he and Bridgette were going to thoroughly trash Grandma Kate's house.  Grandma Kate knew this, too.

10/30/13

Special Halloween Edition!

It came as a great shock and disappointment to Clayton when he found out that the Elmwood City Council had just released an edict that no one over the age of 20 would be permitted to trick or treat this year.

And the winner of the costume contest at Island of Dr. Moreau Middle School was Solomon (fourth from the left), who most convincingly dressed up as a real-life human boy.

With Trick or Treat scheduled in just fifteen minutes, Abe was pressed to get the Nyquil-spiked witches brew ready in time for the parade of costumed doorbell-ringers.

Always a rebel, Anita dated a Native American in spite of her father's bigotry, but even she didn't expect Dancing Deer to show up to the gala in an outfit this skimpy!

Yes, it raised eyebrows when Margaret and Edgar moved into Cherry Blossom, but their infectious personalities soon made people forget the way Margaret kept ripping the seams out of dresses she was trying on at The Pink Poodle and Edgar always refused a cigar during Thursday night poker.

Until record producers got ahold of them and made them over with great success, Sonny and Cher were in danger of becoming just another failed statistic in the music industry.

Little Marvin stunned everyone with his circus act that produced a real life bunny rabbit during one of the tricks, but even he couldn't do anything to help The Henderson's home decor...

Sacagawea enjoyed living in New Rochelle okay, but was confounded when the local grocer refused to carry pickled deer hooves or beaver nuggets.

It aggravated Reggie to no end that, even when she was done up this way, he STILL couldn't convince Jody to give him a kiss...

Contrary to what everyone believed, it was not the height differential that brought an end to Dorothy and the Tin Man's relationship.  It was her dismay at his continual cries for an oil can during many of their more intimate moments together...

10/28/13

Doug was extraordinarily proud of his champion rose bush, but what pleased him more than anything was the way it obscured the other, less socially acceptable, plants he was growing in his side yard...

As Lenny approached the agreed-upon spot for his blind date with "Peggy," he could hardly decide which of the three ladies present that he wanted to date THE LEAST and considered turning tail and heading back home!

The visit to Aunt Mabel's had gone fine until she opened up the cabinet and Theo spotted the bottle of castor oil nestled behind the Quaker Oats.  Now it was time to hop in the stroller and make tracks for home!

As the members of her Crazy Eights Luncheonette began to dig into the afternoon refreshments, Judith began to wonder if her un-airconditioned dining room had been the best spot for her vast array of cheeses, seafood and dips.

And so the Saddlehooks and the Barfeins waited patiently outside the King's Lair Motor Lodge until a taxi could take them to another establishment; one where the presence of Piddles wouldn't incur a hefty additional charge.

Lonnie and Carol Sue fooled no one.  Beneath their ecstatic smiles and overwhelming enthusiasm, folks could tell even at the reception that the marriage wasn't going to make it over the long haul...

10/25/13

Shawn (second from the left) found out the hard way that Tolan Hilz Photography had a recommended maximum of six subjects per portrait and didn't guarantee full facial coverage for any number beyond that...

Ronnie and Rebecca had wrapped up a staggering amount of square dance competition victories, especially remarkable in light of the fact that Ronnie was completely blind and Rebecca had such poor vision herself that she once wore two different color shoes to a state championship!

Dickie was so torn about what to request for his birthday; either a Lionel train set or a pair of more forgiving suspenders...

As Helen made her way out of the chicken coop with that morning's load of eggs, she really began to regret flinging that skillet-full of bacon grease out the back door the night before.

And so, due to his refusal to let his young son Oliver have even a scintilla of the spotlight, Teddy once again decided at the eleventh hour to take on the part himself, leading to confusion, hilarity and humiliation on several levels.

Far from being a mournful occasion, Agnes' funeral actually turned into a spirited game of one-upsmanship as Patty, Mildred and Virginia tried to outdo each other in the fur and fashion stakes!

10/23/13

Editor's Note:  My apologies for the week without photos - I was on a brief vacation! Back in action now.

Bonnie, who had waited all day for the Cleveland Browns game to begin, poured her Lambrusco and broke out the Cheese Whiz and Triscuits only to have to combat Larry, who actually thought he was going to plug in the Atari at that moment!

Being the prettiest bridesmaid (and having the most incident-resistant hair) in no way guaranteed Charmaine a good time at the reception and she spent the bulk of the evening checking her teeth for lipstick in the reflection of Glenn and Gloria's silver service.

While Myra, Esther and Laverne welcomed Melanie with open arms to their weekly Spades gatherings, all three of them wished that she would inject a little bit of pizzazz into her dreary wardrobe...

And thus giddy excitement once again began to grow as the six finalists were announced for the title of Miss Poinsettia at the Pecan Hills Country Club and Handball Society.

Little Ramon actually didn't mind the strained radishes at all.  What upset him was the fact that Grandpa Leo put the Wednesday bib on him and this was Friday evening!

Sammy and Melinda were so busy quarreling over who could hold Charlie during the family photo that neither one got to do so before the shot was snapped.

10/16/13

Steve couldn't figure out which of his favorite squeezes he wanted to take to Florida, so he opted to take the top five and then pack only one change of clothes (as he wouldn't be leaving his room much anyway...)

As they posed for a second picture, Jessica couldn't help but feel a certain sense of superiority over Margaret who, during the first shot had held Chuck upside down and ultimately dropped him onto the living room floor!

Carol Sue and Randy were so elated that they got a two-for-one special on eyeglasses at Sears Optical that they momentarily forgot that it wasn't necessary to get identical frames!

For the first twelve or so rounds, Chomper didn't mind the little game that Ted was playing, but his patience was wearing thin, his stomach was starting to rumble and he was dangerously close to living up to his name.

At first Rhonda Lynn wasn't going to see Jimbo off at the airport, but when she discovered that White Rain had a new formula resistant to winds up to 60mph, she sprayed her hair and got through the situation just fine.

Knowing that Jennifer had a far prettier complexion and silkier hair than her, Becky opted to show off the boobs in order to get some degree of attention at the Parents Without Partners afternoon mixer.