9/28/17

Jocelyn was eagerly awaiting her big first date with Terry the star basketball player and thought she'd better practice some of her romantic moves on Otto, her stuffed hound, beforehand so that she didn't seem inexperienced...

Clayton didn't know what was funnier: that he dolled up like one of the gals to crash his sister Marjorie's slumber party or that it took nearly 20 minutes before any of them caught on to his ruse!

Alexander had never been to a July 4th dinner-dance and, especially as this one was out of town, fretted over what to wear, but ultimately decided he couldn't go wrong with good ol' red, white and blue.

9/26/17

Hank was delighted with his new Stretch Armstrong action figure because he could pull on it rougher and for far longer than what he was generally used to in bed at night...!

Rico enjoyed slipping off Angelique's garter when they got up to the Honeymoon Suite, but had to admit to being startled when he went to remove her panties and found she hadn't worn any on the big day!

Boris was proud to be assigned as a lifeguard along the coast of Sardinia, but still felt that was no reason to eschew proper footwear and possibly roughen up his tender tootsies...

9/21/17

Stefanie invited her neighbor Cliff over for "a drink" and, after burning through all the beer she had in the fridge and now heading into her Rhine wine, she wondered if he'd ever give up and go back home!

With virtually all their extra dough having gone to the three tickets to see Johnny Paycheck in concert out of town, Verl, Eugene and Carlton had to triple up when it came to motel accommodations. The good news was that the TV came with a wireless remote.

After living it up in Fort Myers for almost two weeks, all three guys wound up with spare tires around their waist. Roger could still sort of get by with his, Clete was downright ashamed, but Andy embraced his and didn't even care that his long-sleeved t-shirt was suddenly a crop-top!

9/19/17

Jason Packard was hell-bent on becoming the next Mr. East Florida and in-between reps with his set of barbells, he often pushed his broken down jalopy from one end of the block to the other as well.

On what turned out to be quite a day of secrets, Sister Antoinette promised bride Catalina that she'd never tell anyone that she wasn't exactly a virgin on her wedding day. In return, Catalina promised she would never reveal that Sister Antoinette was really her third cousin Tony, who'd always harbored an interest in clerical cross-dressing!

Tracy fancied herself a fine little cook, with an eye towards growing up to be the perfect wife to some young man, and often tried out her concoctions on the family dog, Buster (in the back yard hacking up at the time of this photo.)

9/14/17

Private Dickson had a tendency to spill his soft drink on the front of his fatigues, so Private Peters suggested that they just fill their old Coke bottles with water to save the trouble of doing so much laundry (and stain removal.)

Herman Munster hadn't tried to prevent wife Lily from getting a face-lift, yet once she'd been overhauled, he couldn't help feeling a little out of place around her in public...

Always a highly literal person to begin with, Anton read on the can behind him to "Deposit Rubbish" there, so he picked up his slightly trashy friend Sylvester and began to head that way!

9/12/17

Rebecca Sue was deeply disappointed to accidentally sit on one of her brother's Easter eggs and discover that it wasn't actually hard-boiled, forcing her to face everyone head-on for the rest of the afternoon!

The stand-off was soon to come to an end... This was the day that Luthor was finally going to take out that damned obnoxious, staring, potted iris once and for all!

For two months prior to his summer trip to Sanibel Island, Harvey used his new Trim Twist exerciser every day at the office... and the results were showing!

9/7/17

Little known factoid:  Ronald McDonald and Wendy (nee Thomas) had an illegitimate child together in the late 1970s, Davey, who had numerous brushes with the law before turning over a new leaf and, to the horror of both parents, later became a vegetarian.

At the wrap party for Cher's 1990 infomercial Lori Davis Hair, Ms. Davis arrived fashionably (and unapologetically) late, but when one hits that sort of success, they sometimes get a little big for their britches.

Daphne Bushhog, still bitter because The Village People went with David Hodo as the Construction Worker after the sparkling audition she gave in 1977, continued to ride the wave of controversy with many public appearances and engagements until finally slipping out of the spotlight around 2003.

9/5/17

The urinals at Fort Dribble were built in such an awkward, tight way that one had to contort oneself to get close enough to use them, as demonstrated out front by Lt. Benton Outward...

Even as a toddler, friends knew that Margaret was going to face addiction problems all her life if she wasn't careful, cousin Jimmie's fifth birthday party presenting a key example.

Hattie, Millie and Mary Ann made up a terrible trio of armed robbers on their nights off from the food service at Mid-Central Middle School and were responsible for a rash of hold-ups at several locations of Morrison's Cafeteria.

8/31/17

Dianne was very, very proud of her holly berry Christmas chapeau and wore it every chance she got from December 15th through New Year's Eve, though occasionally at various choir concerts or grade school pageants, she was asked by the people who sat behind her to please remove it until the show was over...

Verniece and Eldon made it a point to wed on St. Valentine's Day because that was the day they met. They were both in the Hallmark store buying cards for their then significant others, Carlton and Greta, but discovered undeniable passion between them amid the envelopes and turtle figurines.

While Kocoum was pleased to be invited over to The Rolfes' house for a birthday celebration, he couldn't help but be a little disappointed with the rather puny cake that was offered. After all, his own party at home had involved a gargantuan venison stew and a cornucopia of ripe fruits and vegetables.

8/29/17

For the first few minutes of The 32nd Annual Cherry Blossom Craft Festival and Rummage Sale, everything went along swimmingly, but once Edna Fay, Rowena, Gertrude and Evaline ran out of goods, their counter was mistaken for a kissing booth and they were each molested by lascivious men about town until the whole thing was over at 9:00pm!

Travis was growing tired of waiting for Jennifer to come outside and head to the beach, but he didn't want to spoil the finish on his freshly-polished ride, so instead he leaned against Dorrie until it was finally time to go!

And so it was that E.T.'s first day on Earth was October 31st and the first place he visited was Chaney Middle School, where much to his surprise he fit in rather nicely!