6/12/13

It wasn't until the night after the ceremony that Gary found out the hard way that he didn't just marry Louise, he had also taken on Barney, for whom sharing was not a strong suit. 

Since infancy, Susan had waited for a young man to come along who would place her on a pedestal.  Now that one had, she was in danger of missing their first date because she couldn't get down to head to the car!

To be honest, Lola Mae had really seen enough of Albert's dry oil rig and was more than ready to head back to the farmhouse for some lemonade and Ritz crackers with Jif peanut butter.

After a heated competition, Angela Plackard and Kenny Gumm were elected Mister and Miss Dental Hygiene at the Crestwood Secondary School in Colgate, Wisconsin.

Mere hours after the votes were tallied, the new City Council of Breakwater Flats was assembled for a photo.  Clockwise from the top left:  Sid Guthrie - Deputy Mayor, Carter Clemens - Treasurer, Art Haines - Secretary and Farfel Guthrie - Mayor Elect.

Murphy found it almost impossible to enjoy his nap whenever Jonny Lee decided to join in after a long day at the Winston County Tobacco Outlet.

The further he walked and the more desolate the terrain became, the more Terry started to wonder if his buddies at Beechwood Acres campground hadn't deliberately steered him in the wrong direction for the communal shower room.

6/11/13

This was the final photo of little Albert taking his bath with brother Timmy, for the following day he discovered the 'on' switch to the newfangled garbage disposal that daddy Pete had recently installed... 

Cliff came back from his tour of duty to see that he and Madeleine's boy Toby had begun to grow up.  Trouble is, Toby looked nothing like Cliff and with those feet, he began to wonder if there wasn't something to those rumors of Sasquatch sightings a couple of years back!

The early prototypes for the E-Z Bake Oven were ultimately discarded because the poor kids had so much to do, from igniting the pilot light to scouring the enamel finish, that no one wanted to "play" at cooking after the first day or two...

Prom Night 1971 finds famed magician & illusionist Doug Henning with his date Valerie.  True to his craft even then, he made Valerie's virginity disappear that night!

Francine, Clara June and Margaret had waited an entire year for the carnival to come back to Bramble Bush so that they could win goldfish at the ring toss booth.  Margaret was the only one not disappointed that they'd run out of goldfish and had begun giving out puppies as prizes...

It did take nearly twenty years, but Howard finally made good on his promise to put a window in the bedroom for Leora.  Of course, the first thing she did was install venetian blinds so that no one could see in!

Even with his thick prescription glasses and at this close proximity, Irwin was unable to hit the ball and Teddy wondered what it was going to take to make his brother into something other than the team embarrassment.

6/10/13

Chester found his papier-mâché bear costume the perfect way to meet handsome, unsuspecting, salt 'n pepper daddies at Six Flags Over Boise. 

Fleeing felons Nelson and Theo had successfully swapped clothing with their female victims, but now had to sit tight until the ladies beneath the sand had completely suffocated before they could move to the next hideaway. 

Matilda knew that with continued practice, her complicated trapeze routine would be circus worthy, especially once she no longer had to keep her feet on the ground. 

Timmy was electrified to receive the guitar he wanted on Christmas morning, but Skip felt that the songs would sound far better if Timmy learned the right way to hold and strum the instrument. 

Though they tried to mask it during what was now the 22nd reunion of their platoon, Harmon and Charlie knew that their old buddy Clifford was slipping and was no longer the fresh, spry dog-faced G.I. they'd palled around with back in the day. 

The candy had been strung through the yard and Eddie and Suzanne Fimmel had followed it according to plan. Now all Mr. Peterson had to do in order to enjoy peace in his retirement was wait for them to trip the wire that would bring the lid down on them for good! 

Millie couldn't understand what was taking Fred so long to get ready. She'd had her wig on straight and her bingo chips and dabbers ready for the past 17 minutes and there wouldn't be a good seat left in the VFW at this rate! 

6/7/13

It was bad enough that Marcy's parents had skimped on getting her a real pony for her birthday, but with the blinds closed so tightly, she couldn't even pretend to be outside! 

There was rarely a dull moment in the Fairborn County Emergency Room whenever October 31st rolled around.  Somehow the combination of Halloween and moonshine always seemed to contribute to an accident... or eight.

It took very little pressure for Cliff to persuade his buddy Garrison to accompany him to the tattoo parlor, but, once there, Garrison suddenly began to object once he found out WHERE the tattoo was going to go!

Delivering Ronnie Jr was one of the most arduous tasks of Sylvia's life, but having him around during those early formative years was more than blessing enough to make up for it.

Fraternal twins Lilimae and Clem had celebrated many a birthday together during their lives, but at this point Clem was beginning to resent the fact that just because she was a minute older than he was, she somehow always wrangled a slightly better cake and an extra candle, to boot!

And so just like that, the top three entrants in the Wilmington Chamber of Commerce Beauty Pageant and Bait-Hooking Contest were selected, leaving the other two contestants, Carol and Midge, to cry into their sarsaparilla.

Renata was pleased with her accommodations at the Fenwick Ridge Motor Lodge and Butter Barn, but worried if the headboard might be too sturdy and solid to resist crumpling her carefully arranged coiffure.  A quick call to the front desk for an extra pillow and one more roll of toilet tissue effectively solved the problem.

6/6/13

Jocelyn was horrifyingly unaware that being one of the earliest pioneers of cheek implants and gel fillers did NOT achieve the desired effect and that her friends laughed at her predicament behind her back. 

Visiting Grandpa Running Bear was fun, even adventurous, for Sally, Millie and Bud, but Millie, far more than the other two, always seemed to be concerned about where exactly she might find a place to go to the bathroom.

After coming in fifth place at the Marin County Naval Base Talent Show for two years running, Gary and his friends practiced mercilessly their tableau of "Washington Crossing the Delaware" in the hopes that they'd win top prize of a six-day pass and $10 apiece.

Marilyn was getting extremely tired of having her freshly-baked cookies pilfered by Marvin, so while she was rolling her hair in the other room, she had Tuffy stand guard in the kitchen...

...and so the ecstasy continued at the Birch Bark County Fair and Cauliflower Expo, with Gertrude and William opting to take a second spin on the basket-go-round...

In hindsight, Wilma fretted endlessly that giving Agnes a butane cigarette lighter for a housewarming present might not have been one of her brightest ideas...

Though it meant countless surgeries and procedures, Eddie felt that in time he would truly one day resemble his boyhood idol, The Duke.  He was getting closer with each stroke of the scalpel and every skin peel.

6/5/13

FBI file photo for a "WANTED" poster, taken down from an old U.S. Post Office bulletin board.  Meredith "Grinning Guns" Hollister ravaged the southwestern states during a crime spree that involved 4 gas stations, 5 drive-up service diners, 11 candy shoppes and even the very first Toys R Us...

Patrice wasn't a fan of her new pageboy haircut, nor of the knee socks that her mother made her wear, but could take solace in the fact that Buddy loved her and would stand by her no matter what the conditions.

In yet another close call prior to Susannah relenting and getting glasses with a better, stronger prescription, she very nearly prepared stew for Howard with what she thought was the biggest rabbit she'd ever captured in their garden!

Huey was too young and inarticulate to warn Mona and little Angeline of the incoming flying saucer, thus the three of them became yet another baffling statistic in the realm of alien abductions.

A charmer even in infancy, Ramon knew he could convince Aunt Pearl so put the strained carrots and stewed asparagus aside and bring on the creamed bananas and applesauce.

A rare shot from the family album of Mrs. Tatum shows that Channing had learned from the start how to get the most out of life from wearing the least!

New Year's Eve only came once every twelve months, so Ronald intended to get everything out of it that he could. He could always retrieve his bridge the next morning. 

6/4/13

Clifford couldn't wait to head off into the trees and show off his new coconut bra to Ken, but it seemed that in all the haste at the Mahaloahaha Gift Shoppe, he'd picked up a C-cup and an E-cup instead of two C's..... 

It was generally a very hard life, but Chester knew that on the third Sunday of every June, fatherhood definitely had its privileges. 

Geoff could scoff all he wanted to. This hat perfectly matched Josephine's sweater vest and she was going to wear it to the Rosewood Vets St. Patrick's Day Fish Scramble whether he liked it or not! 

It had been a lengthy search, but Duane had finally found the right pair of socks to compliment his t-shirt and now he knew he would be the snappiest hole punch operator at the Trapper Keeper factory. 

Joyce wondered why Bernard was never in the right spot for pictures and wished he could be more like Troy. 

Though she'd had her suspicions for quite some time, it wasn't until the roll of film with this picture on it came back that Eleanor fully realized the extent of Jack's drinking problem. 

"Raeleen's Daycare and Kindercamp" was an early leader in the trend of relying on other folks to watch one's children. However, it's immediate popularity led to overcrowding from the outset. 

6/3/13

A pioneer (and, in truth, guinea pig) in the field of Lasik, everything went swimmingly for Camille until she mistook the hall closet for the guest powder room. 

Christmas had been a delight. The turkey was moist, the candles were lovely and the decorations were festive. Then little Christy happened to notice through her mom's holiday blouse that she'd gone and gotten her nipples pierced... 

The shower was fun and all, but after seven and a half months without either a Lucky Strike or an Old Fashioned, Dottie had just about HAD IT... 

It was tremendously difficult for Luthor and Sally Mae to say goodbye to little Edgar as the bus pulled up to take him to the first day of second grade, but they knew it was for the best that someone in the family receive an education. 

Fun was fun, but Leon was only going to permit cousin Bert to play "Tiny Bubbles" on that ukulele one more time before he broke it in half and fed it to him. 

Cheryl thought that the holiday's were always a blast when Aunt Myrtle came to call... so long as she was limited to only three spiced rum toddies. 

If Celeste was so hell bent on driving from Clearwater to Ft. Myers with the top down, then Mary Eleanor had to concoct an up-do that would withstand the torque.