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| Charlene felt it necessary to teach baby Johnny how to swim at a very early age because there was no pool emergency great enough to coerce her into getting her own hair wet! |
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| Sylvia was told by her parents in no uncertain terms that she could only bring home nice Jewish boys, so she was forced to check out prospective dates, such as William Peter, ahead of time... |
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| Cinderella dreamed of escaping the drudgery of housework and going to the ball, but what she really wanted more than anything was arm exfoliant. |
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| Prior to the advent of gift cards, many children could look forward to envelopes laced with good old cash tucked within them, though parents were often saddled with lovely gifts, un-returnable because they had no clue which store they'd come from! |
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| Gladys and Mary Sue's magic show at the monthly Crazy Eights and Finger Sandwich Luncheon went off perfectly except for the fact that once Bernie disappeared under the quilt, none of the ladies knew how they were going to driven back home! |
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| Nurse Pat Christensen was not among the more lovely attendants at the Bern Sex Reassignment Clinic, but her androgyny did tend to make the awakening patients seem more at ease and less self-conscious after their various procedures... |
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