11/9/15

After two previous fails, Kelsey was bound and determined not to let her owner Therese ship her off to Grandma's for the day without packing a treat! This time she took matters into her own paws...

After Mr. Johnson heartily complained about being awoken each morning by the barking from that infernal dog Louie from next door, Louie decided to change things up a bit and on this morning woke Mr. Johnson up with a spirited rendition of "Swanee River."

Before Antonia and Erica headed off to The Millers to watch the Pittsburgh Steelers game, Antonia was determined to figure out what that smell was that kept wafting through her formal living room.

And so Tania projected all of her own failed dreams of being crowned Miss Albequerque onto Muffin, who was entered into every possible doggie pageant that the area offered, finally winning 4th Runner-Up in the Holidog Invitational that December...

The citizens of Spotswood, New Jersey were so grateful to Penelope for getting all of the children out of the burning orphanage that they decided she should no longer have to ride along on the noisy fire engine during alarms and should, in fact, have her own set of wheels and a driver.

Beverly and Toodles had a little-known agreement. Beverly would take Toodles out to the park for an hour of frolic and play if Toodles agreed to cut Beverly's bangs...

11/6/15

Allyson's mother repeatedly told her to go to bed early and get some sleep before picture day at school the next morning, but she steadfastly refused to listen!

In the wake of the home invasion by Goldilocks, The Three Bears opted to pile into one bed each night until they began to feel secure in their cottage again...

At the Peter Rabbit book-signing, Beatrix Potter had failed to ask for the baby carrot, cauliflower and broccoli crudite that Peter typically demanded and as the afternoon wore on, he began eyeing some of the more delectable children.

Before departing Bushkill Falls, Loretta wanted one quick snapshot with Harry, but came to regret not wearing her trifocals that afternoon before grabbing "him!"

Thus, Wendra's bridal party photos contained a gaping hole where Cynthia was to have stood, but the bridesmaid felt she had to default on her duties rather than walk down the aisle on the arm of a groomsman with what appeared to be a large Sudafed tablet on her head...

After nearly twenty minutes, Charmaine went out back to see why it was taking Clinton so long just to show Woody his snorkel!

Time and again, Nipper tried to lead Eddie back to the bedroom in order to prove that Lorena was keeping time with the UPS driver, so after several futile attempts, he decided to hop onto the bed and retrieve proof of her infidelity!

11/4/15

Frank had that unique ability to first fill a room and then immediately empty it when he broke out his one big party trick, an all-gas performance of "When the Saints Go Marchin' In!"

Initially, Sylvia and Kevin were elated to see the Mercury Falls Welcome Wagon heading up the driveway until they noticed that most of the basket's contents were either expired canned goods or bakery items with a red half-price sticker on the side...

Mildred loved both her new sable capelet and her new Buick Regal, but secretly wondered just how in the world Morgana was able to afford such lavish gifts to her on just an assistant librarian's salary...

Cissy and Mike stopped off at Uncle Bert's to inform him of their recent, hurried wedding, but decided not to let him in on the pending arrival of their baby due to overly-sensitive Bert's condition.

When she left the house, Betsy had serious doubts about the fit of her new dress from The Pink Poodle, but within moments of heading to the bus stop, she knew she'd in fact made just the right choice!

Roger knew that he'd let his buddy Jed fix him up with some real dogs on prior blind dates, but things really took a turn when he came over to Jed & Donna's and met Millie!

11/2/15

The party guests were already pulling into the driveway, but Nancy and Todd had still not managed to get Skipper to stand still long enough for his antlers to be tied on!

Everyone kept speculating as to why Davey wouldn't smile for the camera, but no one thought to look at the photographer close enough to see that he'd popped a button on the bottom of his shirt and had visible belly-button lint!

Before Andrea would leave the kids for a girl's weekend at Ruby Falls, she insisted that Greg go through a rigorous set of tests involving making grilled cheese, laying out coordinating outfits and changing a diaper in the dead of night...

Angelique (center) thought she'd make it perfectly clear to Lenny before the party that he was to do no Charades that contained vulgar clues or answers, but after three goblets of punch, he forgot himself...

Most of the gang was happy to finally make it to the ABC/A Flock of Seagulls/Gary Numan concert, but Martine was very distressed that it had taken Sean so long to do his hair that they missed the opening act, Kajagoogoo.

It all started innocently enough, with Carole having to bring the dwarves an occasional apple or tomato, but now she was compelled to bring them the best of her harvest every morning or else they would make good on their promise to tear up her lawn and "fertilize" her yard decor!

10/30/15

The first time Virgil took his girlfriend home to meet his folks, he worried that she might not get along with his cousin Robbie, but he needn't have worried... about them getting along anyway!

Piddles had been asking to go out for a good 15 minutes, but Vernee wanted to arrange this timed portrait with the grandkids just so. Unfortunately, milliseconds after the snap, Piddles lifted his leg onto the railing right above them.

Before approaching any hot chicks at a party, Richie liked to sidle up to the bar and practice some of his best lines into a nearby mirror...

Pat had no intention of letting his vacation in Maui be spoiled by the fact that, prior to packing, his mother had washed all his shirts in hot water and dried them on high!

With the championship on the line, the unbeaten Loaded Bases all grabbed hold of their lucky bat. Trouble is, Tommy had spread too much pine tar on it and no one could get free in time to play in the big game!

Mrs. Evans thought Petey might like to share his playpen with Stomper, but in fact he was quite unamused and not at all happy about losing prime real estate to a large plastic companion.

10/28/15

And so again, to her great relief, Susan realized that Jack was the one who wound up getting the honeycomb with a real bee inside it, making this their third box in a row in which she was spared the sting!

Finally, having arrived at Grumby's Hatch two evenings before, Walter was able to emerge and get another good look at daylight again before the next happy hour rolled around...

Now that the ceremony was complete and there was no way Trish's mother could interfere or call off the wedding, they unlocked the attic room and allowed Judith to come down to the reception for a goblet of punch and a slice of vanilla marmalade cake.

Rufus and CeCe knew that they were going to have to stand out from the crowd if they wanted any of the Los Angeles Olympics spillover traffic to try their booth, so they came up with the ingenious invention of "fresh squeezed hot dogs!"

Coming home from a long shift on his feet at Camelot Records, Jerry was ecstatic to find the fridge well-stocked with Schoenling Lager and wanted to thank Jenny for it right on the spot!

As her first Christmas without Edmund arrived, Marge was so glad she'd opted to send him to the taxidermist while also having her neighbor Mrs. Jeakins whip up several seasonal costumes that she could swap out over the months in order to make it seem as if he'd never left her!

10/26/15

A lesser known fact is that year before they became Charlie's Angels, Sabrina, Kelly and Jill collaborated on an undercover sting operation to thwart middle school purse-snatchers!

In an attempt to glean some genuine reactions out of The Bitmores, photographer Harold Nubbleman pulled open his shirt to reveal nipple piercings connected by a chain with a small plastic parakeet hanging from the center!

Relations could get a little dicey in the Ramirez household as Angela fought to keep her sisters from stealing the remote control and changing the channel from her beloved "Tony Orlando and Dawn!"

Benji was ecstatic to finally get the rod and reel he'd been hoping for on his birthday, but his mom Mary Sue was already becoming upset by the snag that were showing up in her living room curtains after an hour of him practicing his casting!

Easily one of the things ALF was going to miss when he headed back to Melmac was his neighbor Mrs. Melba's slow-roasted gumbo, but she was kind enough to pack him a sizable Tupperware container of it for the flight home.

Computer classes were becoming so hot in the mid-'80s that many classrooms were filled to capacity and students like Rich, Derrick and Stan had to claim a seat anywhere and anyhow they could!

10/23/15

Charlene only had enough money left in her trust fund for either new breasts or restorative dental work, but not both. It was clear from the reaction she got from Chester at Rosella's Italian Ziti-Fest that she'd settled on the right choice!

Anniversary party or not, Florence had just finished refinishing her parlor floor and had no intention of letting her heavy-footed friends dance the night away on it, so off to the hallway they went while she turned up the music so they could hear.

As she aged more and more Miriam Colonna's grew grayer and grayer, but strangely her mustache remained true brunette, right up until the end...

Rosamund was thrilled that Santa Claus decided to call upon her instead of skipping her house as he had for the prior two years, but she was highly displeased that he used the bedroom fireplace instead of the den and left hoof and sled marks all over her new bedding ensemble!

It took a remarkable amount of time for it to sink in for Julianne that even though Barney had brought her to The Elks Halloween Spooktacular, he was actually going to be going home with Raymond!

And so with this one snapshot, Grandma Louise was able to answer two different burning questions: Why was her jewelry box becoming more and more sparse looking over the last several weeks and how had Jessica been able to afford all the new toys and clothes that were stacking up in her walk-in closet at home?!

10/21/15

The Prickleys were having so much fun watching Lori tossing her golden beach ball around that they missed seeing the manta ray headed for Artie until it was too late!

This was intended to be a couples shot of LaVonne & Theo and
Retha & Marvin, but the camera happened to catch LaVonne while she was underwater!

Since his shift was over anyway, maintenance man Cliff didn't bother to remove his suspenders before taking a quick dip in the pond behind the school, but as the water got deeper and deeper, he did wish he'd thought to remove his key ring with all its keys!

Eager to start a family as soon as possible, since Myrna's biological time clock only had a few ticks left, she and her new husband Skip stopped by the pool on the way to their honeymoon suite to give the fertility statue a good luck rub!

Unlike Roberta and Cara Sue, Phyllis and Cherie didn't have to worry about swim caps because they knew that their triple-strength Adorn hairspray wasn't in any way going to be affected by the steam and water droplets of the whirlpool...

So as luck would have it, Barbara grabbed the wrong swimsuit when packing for her girls' weekend to Lake Michigan and unintentionally brought the bunny-tailed one she'd worn eight years prior as a Playboy Club barmaid!