5/7/14

Though Leonora put in many a hard day on her feet at the bank, she at least could take pleasure in the evenings when Leonora went night-night and with the help of a wig and some different clothing, "Nora" emerged and took center stage.

It took Alfie almost eleven years to perfect his "human pretzel" contortion stunt and then, just as he'd finally achieved it, he for some reason opted to never leave the house again!

It was with rapt joy that The Ramirez Family celebrated their first year in the U.S.  In fact, their elation was so great they forgot to light or even blow out the candle on their cake.

As Mary Evelyn prepared to board the plane back to Massaponax, Virginia, it occurred to her that this was the fourth time she'd been "lei-ed" on the Tarmac during this trip, though the second and third times were far more memorable to her than the first and fourth!

It crossed Sally's mind as she was chatting with her in-laws after supper that she and Bud should be grateful that they spent the extra money on steel-frame furniture, something that both the poinsettia and Raffles were pleased about as well!

All set for a refreshing mouthful of pineapple in the scorching Pompano Beach heat, Margie was horrified to have accidentally reached for a scalding piece of pungent garlic bread!

5/5/14

Realizing that Desiree was beginning to catch on to Freddie's trick of "running out of gas" near secluded beaches, he next decided to try out "Oh, it looks like I have a flat tire... and no spare!"

This was the greeting from little Geoffrey when Mrs. Beech arrived home from Alber's grocery and informed him that they were all sold out of stewed spinach and mashed asparagus!

Although Rebecca was proud of her prize-winning hat at The 4th Annual Wagon Wheel Chapeau Contest, Myrtle was really hoping that she'd take it down before they ran the accompanying movie, "Stagecoach."

Sisters Antoinette and Marie usually played together beautifully until the day a neighbor gave them only one doll to share, which eventually resulted in its head being rendered from the rest of its body...

That morning's episode of "Romper Room" was so funny that it caused Troy to set a record at Piddle County Middle School.  He became the first student to not only pee his pants, but his SHIRT, too!

Scamp waited impatiently on the floor for Leroy to allow some of his apple fritter to fall from his lips.  Thing was, Leona was getting rather peckish herself and was gearing up to give Scamp a run for his money over whatever happened to come available!

5/2/14

Rodney had been raised Southern Baptist, but, after seeing a PBS special on Brigham Young, he moved to Utah and swiftly converted to Mormonism, soon marrying both Polly and Esther (with more wives to come after them!)

Sheree and Veleka tentatively headed to the Stubb County Pit BBQ and Ring Toss Social, nervous over the fact that this was the first time either of them had appeared in public since shaving above the knee...

Thanks to an unexpected rough patch in the sidewalk while Steve was taking the boys for a wagon ride, calamity was narrowly avoided.  Fortunately, the wagon rolled onto the cushiony grass and Tim rolled onto (cushiony) Huey...

During all of their wedding portrait sittings, Marsha simply couldn't get it out of her mind that Dale's bachelor party had employed five different strippers... but that only three of them had been female!

Uncle Cliff hoped that not too many people noticed that he had dropped little Annette onto the carpet while rehearsing their upcoming ventriloquist skit.  Fortunately, the heat was off once Frances (to his right) also let her "dummy" Edgar fall to the floor as well!

As the moment neared when little Faye Lynn was to blow out her first birthday candle, she couldn't help thinking it was going to take about three or four more phone books on the chair before she could get within wheezing distance of the flame!

4/30/14

Today marks the first birthday of Krazy Kaptions! It positively flew by. Thank you to all of my visitors who continue to get a kick out of the zany, charming photos that are featured on this site. No matter how sarcastic it gets, I dearly love the people in these shots and their often-fun clothes and furnishings! And now, a bonus picture to kick off this special day!

The kids were having such a great time at the birthday party, the once-concerned moms eventually began to relax about the way man-obsessed Sheree had arranged all the balloons in the form of her boyfriend Pete's genitalia!

Always feeling destined for greatness, Melanie made certain she retained all the focus, even in simple snapshots with her brother Jake...

In an early, unpublicized instance of a sinkhole, the Schafters nearly lost Aunt Norma when she stepped out of her wicker chair to get more Coppertone and swiftly descended into the sand!

Knowing how frisky it made Reggie, Lynette liked to parade around the pool in his favorite patio dress, always keeping exactly what she had on under it a secret until the eleventh hour.

At the Shining Cliffs Badminton Club and Resort, Samuel and Irv enjoyed this primo girl-watching spot so much that they often skipped breakfast in order to secure it before the ladies' a.m. calisthenics class began on the nearby lawn...

Mary Alice, Karolyn and Lil loved to have coffee at Karolyn's because each cup was only 20% coffee... the rest being Frangelico!

Although Celestina quite liked her smart-looking hat, she knew that after an hour and a half at Sylvette's, she could put it away because her new look was going to be worth showing off to the whole world!

4/28/14

As they took their place in the receiving line, Dianne dreamed that maybe Fred would be her own groom some day.  First, however, she would have to convince him to actually speak to her...

Leona and Mervyn's happy day had gone off without a hitch... right up until a brave tree squirrel ran up the side of their wedding cake and claimed the topper for use as decor in his knothole nest!

The final round of the Little Miss Sunflower Pageant brought out the worst when it comes to competitiveness, as Rebecca Sue proceeded to hack off one of Lindsay's limbs and pour gasoline down inside it to kill her off and win the crown herself!

Family picture day at The Parolas was one of mom Helen's favorite occasions, but the rest of the family ranged from abject boredom to utter fatigue.

As Halloween drew closer and closer, Suzie worried that people might not recognize her costume of "Elizabeth Taylor," so to get the point across, she doused herself in her mother Ronnie's Wihite Diamonds perfume...

Veronica was proud that not only had she managed to color-coordinate her chair to her ensemble, but she'd found an ingenious way to avoid leaving Final Net residue on the back of it!

4/25/14

It was enough for Renaldo Sambuca to have to live on his parents vineyard, where he stomped grapes all day to help make the wine, but when the family business expanded to apple juice, he grew very close to drawing the line and running away!

Ever since his mother Renee put up new wallpaper in the dining room, little Chip no longer dreaded having to stand in the corner whenever he acted up...

Cleavon was forbidden to climb on his grandmother's treasured living room sofa, but since it was Easter, she did allow him to briefly lean against it for a quick snapshot.

Bob, Carol, Ted and Alice felt that the blind man's bluff number during the Sawmill Square Dancing and Finger Sandwich Hoe Down was the perfect time to take the term "swing your partner" to a whole new level, so they went home with the opposite spouse!

Time and again, Jerry had come home from the salon disappointed in his hair, but this time he took an example with him to show Kayla Jean so that his perm would be rolled to perfection.

Myrtle and Bertram were forever grateful to Dr. Berger for having their partial plates ready in time for Christmas Eve, especially since Melanie's turkey practically needed a reciprocating saw in order to cut through it!

4/23/14

The entire party had been a blast, but then someone had to go and put Joe Cocker's "You Are So Beautiful" in the CD player, causing some unwelcome and decidedly uncomfortable sentimentality to the evening...

Ralph couldn't bark any louder.  It was 7:58pm, no one was in the living room and the TV still wasn't turned on for "The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin!"

Even Hazel herself wasn't able to explain to Gordon how she'd managed to run over one of IGA's shopping carts and drag it all the way back home underneath her car, but the upside was that they now had a few extra (and dented) canned goods and an additional four unbroken eggs to help get them through the week.

Not even the threat of rain could dampen Gloria's spirits this Halloween.  She had it goin' on and new it was going to be a spectacular holiday!

Allison's mother had carped at her since infancy that going barefoot all the time could widen her feet and give her fallen arches, but she wouldn't listen.  Now here it was the first day of school and they couldn't find any white sneakers in her size...

All the other showgirls had warned Lydia that Las Vegas was full of wolves who would eagerly take advantage of her, but somehow in the case of Boris she didn't seem to mind.

4/21/14

Ten years after the disbanding of The Super Friends, Wonder Woman attempted a reunion, but things just weren't the same. Superman and Robin didn't even come, Batman had become a small-town sheriff, Aquaman had gained weight and was running a catfish farm, Zan had gone Goth and Jayna became a gypsy who hung out with Spider-Man half the time.

Mervyn did not appreciate having his photo snapped after 10:30, which was his private "cozy up" time...

Even in the crib, Bernadette saw and heard things that no one else could take notice of. Here, she's listening to a message from beyond to eat all her veggies so she will grow up strong and healthy.

Frances didn't believe in a wide variety of items on the menu at the Exhaust Pipe Cafe and Pit Stop, choosing to focus only on those specialties for which she'd been praised all her life, though in 1987 she did shock everyone by adding Grilled Chicken Salad to the list.

Rodney got a call from his parents asking if he'd managed to acquire all the things he needed for his new apartment, though at this juncture he opted not to tell them one of them was Connie...

One of seventy-two year-old Ira Finkelstein's favorite pranks was to dress in baby clothes, sit in a buggy and surprise admiring passersby with a sudden, jarring rendition of "Skip to My Loo." 

4/18/14

Try as he might, Doctor Colonna couldn't obtain a proper heartbeat from Private Buttram and finally had to mark it down as irregular.

Having already missed both the Patti Page and the Four Freshman concerts, Gloria was determined to make it to see Conway Twitty, even if she didn't have a ticket and might have to risk jail time in order to do it!

Barbara had been through the wringer, in and out of treatment centers from coast-to-coast and just simply could not get the monkey off her back...

After giving it three separate tries, each one worse than the previous, Raymond decided that he simply could not stand the new drinking fountain that his parents had put out back and from now on, he'd just come inside for a quick sip of Kool-Aid whenever he got thirsty.

The bowl of rawhide chips was ready, every sleeping bag had a squeaky toy in it and fresh water bowls were on hand in the kitchen.  Chester was at last ready for his first Pantzripp Obedience School sleep-over.

Unable to get even an ounce of peace in the living room, Esmerelda took to the back yard in order to practice her gypsy fertility dance for the upcoming Elks Lodge Champagne and Hard Salami Officers Meeting.