2/8/18

All Stephanie wanted for Christmas was her two front teeth... and a Santa Claus that was slightly less creepy.

For the first time in its storied history, the Fourth of July Parade in Rainbow, Alabama was being routed to run directly in front of Troy's house and he was ready for it. His only regret was that his mom failed to come up with a festive outfit for the occasion to drape across their concrete goose.

Dr. Frankenstein eventually taught his monster how to be tame and polite in public, allowing for a few unguarded strolls through some of the local parks, but one thing that remained unpredictable was the creature's propensity to go to the bathroom wherever and whenever he felt like it. This time, thankfully, it could be written off to passersby as just another puddle, though it hadn't rained in days...

3/6/18

Herbert and Janice were all set to man the bar for Ted and Elaine's engagement party, though they would find out the hard way later on that the paper towel dispenser behind them was only stocked with 4 sheets and no one knew where any others were stocked!

Easter time for Dorothy Jo, Emily and Janet, though the day was slightly marred at picture time because, according to Emily, "the cat ate" her bonnet during the night before...

Elizabeth was so thrilled that the local IGA was finally carrying Eye of Newt and Goat Sweat in their spice aisle. Now she could really whip up a powerful spell to get that Mrs. Cranappel from the down the street for good!

3/1/18

The privates at Fort Kotch were going for a body pyramid record when suddenly one of the anchors, Pvt. Horne, had to sneeze. Luckily his buddy Pvt. Jergens was able to help him stifle it before everyone toppled.

Bruce wasn't sure just how he was going to be able to handle his blind date Selina once he got her back to his apartment. She asked for a sip of whole milk and began to scratch the furniture and climb the walls until he started to worry for his safety should she wind up spending the night!

Although Jeremy had always loved these overalls (particularly when paired with this jaunty shirt), his affection faltered after this day when one of the straps got caught on Uncle Terry's side-view mirror and it was more than 500 feet down the driveway before Terry noticed!

BONUS PIC: Having survived the sneeze okay, a few of the guys on the bottom began to get ticklish, which led to quite a pile up on the ground...

2/27/18

Sure it was a tad bit lonelier around the house at night, but with Raymond dead and buried at least Ravenna would finally be able to get the new sofa she'd been wanting along with fresh drapes in the dining room.

And so Virginia recognized very early on the benefit of using coconut & banana scented tanning lotion instead of plain old baby oil because the combination brought out the animal in Clint!

Farnsworth found it a gigantic stroke of luck that he'd been seated next to attractive widow Mabel on the way to Oahu and thanks to the lively conversation they'd struck up during the flight, he had every reason to believe that he too would be "lei-ed" that night!

2/22/18

This was the day Bernice decided that Terrence needed prescription sunglasses, too, instead of plain ones as he came up behind "her" for an impromptu hug!

Paulito was on a budget, which scared Lita more than just a bit, though he swore that the Sanford Cafe was nicer on the inside than it looked from the parking lot...!

Bruce, freshly returned from the rehab center in time for his 31st birthday, didn't quite appreciate the humor of some of his former drinking buddies...

2/20/18

Angelique hadn't had the slightest bit of luck finding the right mutt on the street, so she eventually turned to the doggie dating service Grrrr Expectations, being careful to wear her best bows for the profile portrait...

Heinrich was elated to land a job as 4th assistant lifeguard at Der Spritzen Community Pool, but until he got his first paycheck, he didn't have enough money to buy flip-flops...

Shanna was under the mistaken impression that her fulsome supply of Stroh's beer and Husmann potato chips was what made her backyard pool such a hot spot for the local guys when, in actuality, it was her sturdy chaise lounge that really did the trick!

2/15/18

Having successfully destroyed New Albany, Ohio, Andre moved onward to crush and conquer Gahanna...

Facing some serious upcoming debts for tuition and books, Tito was informed that he could make a little extra bread by hanging out at this particular street lamp, but once he got a look at his first potential customer, he began to experience second thoughts!

And so Gloria realized that the best way to get the grabby men out of the way so that she and the gals could chat in peace was to whip up a batch of Barney Floorbangers, a concoction her mother had shown her back when she wanted a break from Gloria's father!

2/13/18

Happy Valentine's Day

Jennelle couldn't wait to come home from school and rub it in April's face that she got all sorts of Valentines that day and April, still being at home, got none. But April got her revenge by fiddling around with Jennelle's shoes when her back was turned...!

Irving and Herb thought that their relationship had been fully accepted by the other couples at the 43rd Annual Shriners Valentine Dinner Dance, but there were still a couple of holdouts who preferred to not let them actually sit at the table...

Finally done with her holiday decorating (having run out of red ribbon), all Marjorie had to do now was wait for Cliff to get home so that they could nab a good table at Duff's Smorgasbord.

2/8/18

Once everyone was out of the bus safely, some of the students regretted hiring Felipe to drive them since he'd somehow decided to keep time with their rousing rendition of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" by drinking the real thing!

Stefanie was all ready for the Sweetheart Dinner Dance at the Oakland VFW, but was forced to cool her heels for a while until her date Peter could finish up his shift at Carl's Jr and slip into his dinner jacket...

Meredith enjoyed a good nine holes of golf every so often, but found herself becoming rather confused at the San Marino Invitational because she had trouble distinguishing the sand traps from the "greens!"

2/6/18

The first holiday dinner down in The Gloakenspiel's refinished basement might have been a more enjoyable time had the acoustics been a bit better and hadn't amplified sister-in-law Lorraine's ever-complaining voice...!

Nightfall was a few hours away yet, so Denise was still making her selection as to who was going to get to share the tent with her and who was going to have to cozy up alone in the Volkswagon. So far, thanks to Myron's socks, Calvin was winning.

And so another spirited game of strip poker began to spiral out of control because not all of the guys agreed that Ricky's hat counted as a piece of clothing.