8/21/13

Fort Beaton prided itself on its stringent, exceptionally harsh regulations and punishments.  The trouble was, Private Ernie Massokyst actually LIKED it!

Her decoy firmly in place, Rosamund knew that she would never again have to suffer through a lunch of hominy and stewed cauliflower and promptly hitched a ride to the nearest burger joint.

Now that Twyla and Rhonda Jean had collaborated on hurling the flaming paper bag of doggie doo into Mr. Pinkerman's yard, they had a feeling it would be a long time before he would again gripe to their father about stray volleyballs and paper airplanes on his property.

Ramona was in her glory, but Trish had quite obviously had her fill of "historic" Colonial Stringtown...

Carol Sue and Lynda had left nothing to chance, from their costumes to their hairstyling, in preparing to win first place in the Copperfield County Magic Fair.

After a little help from Mom with just two more coats of Light Egyptian body makeup, Betty Lynn would at last be ready to audition for Anita in the Boggle Creek Players production of "West Side Story."

8/19/13

Sneezy had fallen on his share of hard luck since Snow White went off and married Prince Charming and the other dwarves dispersed their separate ways, but on days like this he could treasure the framed portrait they'd all had done and remember the good times...

Since the purchase of their third-hand, black and white television set, Irini and Tetra finally had something to brighten up their nights.  Sadly, only one fifteen minute program - "Borscht and You" - was ever aired during those dark days after the revolution.  

Bick Dutton had worked tirelessly every morning for seven months to perfect his flying camel spin in preparations for the Twizzle County Figure Skating Championships and felt that he was just weeks away from trying it out on the ICE!

Irv Cleghorn hadn't become a regional manager of Vlassic Pickles for nothing.  It took sweat, grit (and, to be truthful, the desire to please his rockin' wife Julie) to really make it in such a cutthroat business.

Frank and Tony hadn't had a four-day pass like this in eight months or more and had no intention in the slightest of "pacing themselves."

As she made that final swing around the Bramblewood Country Club Ballroom, Celeste had no idea that this would be her last appearance at the annual fashion show.  Madame Cynthia refused to employ models who tried to make attendees notice themselves more than the dresses they were supposed to be showcasing.

8/16/13

This Thanksgiving, Charisse and Jim only had a few moments to pose for this family shot before it was time to load the  car with all the food (and all her hair) for the ride to grandma's house.

At long last, Melanie had found a way to re-purpose all the unlucky birds that Scratchy had brought to the front porch.  With one can of red spray paint, she'd made Christmas spectacular!

Samantha believed that the first day of school was a special time that called for special hair.  She just prayed all day that the rain held off until 3:15.

After a long, long night of cocktail waitressing at The Black Bunion, JoEllen was ready to relax and see what was on "The Late Late Show" that night.

Librarians Betty Rae and Melba were so elated that the town's tax levy passed, thus ensuring their  positions for another five years, that they immediately broke out the bourbon and scotch for an impromptu celebration!

Eloise woke up with the firm knowledge that the scales of justice had swayed and that today was simply not going to be her day...

8/14/13

Even in their free time away from the circus, the famed tightrope act The Amazing Slipshods were so closely knit that they would often browse stores or attend local events in their performance formation.

The Tannenbaum children enjoyed performing the live nativity each year, inheriting new roles every so often as they grew, yet no matter who played who, Carol the angel always had to change baby Jesus' diapers...

Stu somehow thought that his wedding reception with Lorraine was as good a time as any to suavely inform her that he'd just so happened to get her sister Judy pregnant several months before.

After one look at the tidal wave of toasters and blenders that Renee and Jeffrey received on their big day, Renee was relieved that Jeff had been promoted to second assistant manager of the Wee-Stor-It storage facility as their apartment only had four cabinets in it and one 2' x 5' counter-top.

Doreen found out the hard way, and on one of the summer's hottest days, that she'd finally outgrown the slide that her father had put up four years prior.

Over and over again at his electronics shop, Lawrence had to make it clear to customers that the purchase of his state-of-the-art stereo equipment did NOT include the 2 x 3 photograph of his girlfriend Angelique.

8/12/13

Blackie didn't give a hoot if it was plowing time for Mr. Digglemeyer.  He'd carefully planted six different bones in the field and had no intention of standing by and allowing them to be unearthed prematurely!

Brett was disappointed that Marjorie forgot to pack his flip-flops (or even his sneakers) for their trip to Martha's Vineyard, but the real let-down came later that first night when he realized the sort of tan lines he was going to be in for...

Mrs. Lovejoy had long suspected that the claw-bearing animosity between Clifford and Suzi was just for show and now, in a flash, she had photographic proof that deep down they actually loved one another.

Caroline's parents were thrilled that she had been voted Miss Apple Butter of 1971 and intended to document every step of the night, though at one stage, she worried that she'd never make it to the presentation ceremony!

Some folks might have been skeptical in allowing their lovely teen daughter to go riding with Clip, the school's star quarterback, but Gale's father knew that she was corn-fed and strong enough to take care of herself in any situation.

It's not that Wanetta disliked all the detailed medical attention she was getting from the staff at Airborne Health Center, but after twenty minutes of this, she began to wonder when anyone was going to look at what had brought her there to begin with... a broken toe.

8/9/13

Low-wattage TV station WJEL was known for its insightful and controversial investigative journalism, thus Al and his photographer pal Veronica were willing to wait up all night on Christmas Eve in order to expertly capture the very moment when Santa Claus came down through the chimney.

Budget cuts at Babbling Brook Elementary meant that both Halloween and Christmas had to be celebrated at one party in mid-November.  No matter what the occasion though, and to his parents eternal dismay, Timmy could be counted on to pick his nose at picture time.  

Myrtle was thrilled to pieces with her new car and wanted Lefty to take a snapshot of her with it after her very first trip into town.  Considerate son-in-law that he was, he framed the shot in just such a way that the disembodied gasoline pump nozzle and hose, hanging from the passenger side gas tank, were not shown in the developed picture.

It's not that Millicent didn't like the new car that Ralph had bought her.  It's just that a convertible would have made trips back and forth from her millinery shoppe, not to mention the act of getting in and out while wearing her creations, a little more easy to maneuver.

First day of school and it was all smiles as Daisy headed off in the outfit her mother hand-sewed for her.  Sadly, by 2:45pm, Daisy looked as if she'd been uprooted thanks to several aggressively jealous classmates.

Typically straight-laced and buttoned up bank executive Herman Bielschlinger allowed himself one night per year of frivolity.  The remaining 364 days were spent waiting for Oktoberfest to roll around again.

8/7/13

With one fell swoop, Kay Lynn Bradbury was crowned Homecoming Queen at Mohair High School.  The following day, not one box of blonde hair-coloring could be found in any store as her runners-up sought to capture her special appeal for themselves...

Many detractors felt that Margaret really hadn't lived long enough to warrant the writing and publication of her autobiography, but she knew that her tumultuous, heroic, agonizing struggle against un-softened sheets, errant diaper pins, strained spinach and lukewarm formula would capture the hearts of readers everywhere.  

In the end, Clark, Reggie, Beano and Clara Sue determined that there was just no way to get the car packed with all their luggage unless they allowed Chet to ride in the backseat with two of them instead of being crammed into the trunk with all the suitcases.

When Mr. Boris Needleham suddenly expired, his array of ladyfriends gathered to attend the services.  They would surely miss him, though Berniece (in blue, second from right) felt particularly cheated as he had died on a Friday morning and Friday was "her" night with him...

Unlike 99% of the children in this world, Toby actually hoped that the bulk of the birthday presents that were brought to the party actually contained clothing!

Sister Helen Anne was grateful that the floors were all polished, the potatoes peeled and the furniture waxed so that she could finally knock out the last chapter of Jacqueline Susann's "Valley of the Dolls."

8/5/13

Hope was ecstatic about her hand-made sun hat until she realized that the contouring was just right for frying her nose like a charcoal briquette while her eyes and upper cheeks remained better-shielded.

Though it offended more than one of his second-tier friends, Ramon had his telephone nook designed precisely as he wanted it and that included a "no visitors" policy unless a person was specifically invited to join him there.  

Sylvia always enjoyed camping at The Knotty Pine Cabin Grove but eventually started to become leery of the fact that the park attendant Lester always seemed to be catching her at indisposed times to ask if she needed any fresh linens.

Though she was justifiably proud of her daughter's grades, Stephanie's mom was becoming incensed at her fondness for continually bringing her biology cat home from school each night...

Though initially accused of being plastic and phony, The Crawfords eventually made peace with their neighbors and, in time, even became favorites of the community, known for their serene composure in any given situation.

Mildred Vericose, Miss Florida of 1908 reveled in the fact that each summer she could demonstrate that she had lost nothing in the span of time since her reign and, with only a few minor alterations, could still wear her swimsuit!

8/2/13

With the sun beating down as relentlessly as ever, Liz was increasingly grateful that she'd remembered to apply SPF50... to her teeth.

Clifford adored his latest fiancee Rosalind so much that he didn't even let it bother him when she would remove square-shaped swatches of his clothing and socks for use in her many craft projects...

It was a time-consuming endeavor, but Mr. Tinklemeyer's new surveillance equipment would finally help determine whether his tenant Miss Runson was using up as much hot water as he suspected she was.

Service at Le Cafe du Morte was painstakingly slow, with Bella going twelve minutes before receiving her second 12 oz Coke, Yvette low on coffee since her first cup twenty minutes prior and Georg receiving nary a glance since his arrival that morning!

If the truth were to be told, Frances Ann deplored modeling shoes at the boutique, but at least it gave her a temporary respite from having to stand in the window for the remainder of her shift.

Franklin was yet to be fully convinced, but Shermie declared that this installment of the game Seven Minutes in Heaven was by far the most exhilarating he had ever taken part in!