4/27/15

Even though it resigned her to a spring break week of fumbling her way down corridors and groping through dark nightclubs, Renee finally had to accept what her friends had been telling her for ten minutes: She was never going to be able to find her contact lenses in the ocean after accidentally opening her eyes beneath a wave...

Every week it was the same old story, Mary Beth would finally finish the dinner dishes and sit down to watch "The Fugitive" only to be aggravated and interrupted by her husband and kids, but this time she got the better of them with her homemade Benedryl Chicken Soup, which allowed her to watch the entire ABC Tuesday night line-up and even the 11:00 news!

Shalimar patiently bided her time, for she knew that in just two or three more minutes Roberta would be deep-enough asleep that she could finally get her chance to wear the wig for a while and strut along the fireplace mantle, admiring herself in the mirror above it with every step...

They said it couldn't be done, but Carly really showed them. She was able to change out the alternator, the power steering column and the fan belt of her '87 Ford Taurus all by herself! Then she promptly drove it right through the closed garage door...

Suzanne had excelled in most of the classes at Edgemont School for Girls, but had to settle for a D in Equestrian training because against Bunky the horse trainer's express orders, she simply refused to wear a helmet.

Venecia adored her new assortment of Dean Vittay bath and beauty products and especially enjoyed the shampoo, which she could use on her wig while still getting to watch "Edge of Night" without the worry of soap in her eyes.

He definitely had a couple more months in front of him before he would finally master the technique, but even at this early stage Leroy knew in his heart that a lifetime of auto-fellatio was just around the corner!