Friday, January 19, 2024

1/19/24

Everyone he knew warned Garry about staying away from the shitty neighborhoods he might come upon during his vacation, but he nonetheless kept taking his chances...

And it was just then, as the land surveyors set up across from his corral, that Eldon wished he'd gone ahead and installed a door on his outhouse.

No one in his right mind ever missed out on Joey's Whisky & Wiener Wednesday get-togethers and August 14th was no exception.

And so Lisa Jan went home and began plotting her revenge against Mrs. Spangler for daring to give her a D+ for her essay on Massachusetts history.

Terrified of getting grass stains on her new white slip-ons, Marlene called up on Steve to transport her from the side door to the car just before the Elder-Beerman Afternoon Tea and Fashion Show.

Razi wasn't told until the morning of the picnic that there'd be swimming, so he had to swiftly borrow his wife's mini-skirt or face skinny-dipping with his coworkers.

Thursday, February 23, 2023

2/23/23

Harwood Meighan really didn't appreciate having to put on his full dress uniform every morning simply to have coffee and cereal, but his wife Marcia had very definite ideas of how she wanted things to look and be around the house...

That last wave really sent Heinrich for a tumble and he hoped he could get his act together before the tide really began to roll in!

Edwina enjoyed weekends with the grandkids immensely, but somehow hide & go seek simply wasn't her game...

LaVelle induced her children to sit for various hairstylings and color treatments as she awaited passing her boards. While Kerri didn't seem to mind them, Jeremy resented having to grow his hair out and never seemed to like what his mom did to it...

And so, with a little further encouragement, Glenn was finally persuaded by Dusty to stop trying to repeatedly play "Everybody's Talkin' at Me" on his guitar!

Patrons flocked to The Teal Ostrich when they heard that resident DJ Terrence had gotten some new vinyl, but were sadly disappointed when they discovered he was wearing it!

Tuesday, January 3, 2023

Happy New Year 2023!

Vic and Tangie had such fun at the 23rd Annual Elks New Year Dance until their polyester clothing rubbed up against the felt on the wallpaper and caused a static spark!

Things did get just a skosh out of control at The Weinberg's New Year's Eve Bash once Terry from apartment 5-G dropped in...

Singer Randolph McCrea cut a deal with country station KXLA that he'd offer one kiss for every digit of the year that were ringing out (1963) at their shindig, but ultimately only 17 female fans came to the event.

Mama Zamboni was so proud of her six grown-up chickens and was especially thrilled that Vince headlined the American Legion NY extravaganza.

Cynthia Anne knew where Eddie's and Roger's hands were, so it had to have been her nephew Teddy who gave her such a New Year's goose!

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Happy Thanksgiving 2022!

Clayton did receive some side-eye following his prayer after announcing that he hoped God would make this year's turkey moister and less tough than last year's...

And so this was the last time that Jessica opted to have her boyfriend Randall (a professional marionette puppeteer) dress the holiday turkey...

Mamaw Markham would love to have been able to sit with the family for Thanksgiving dinner, but thanks to the big ball game, everyone else decided that the 14" TV would be more welcome.

Now Elmo just had to wait for his usual "Friday Night" poker buddies to come over and dig in to the holiday dinner he'd put together...

Unorthodox as it may have seemed, the rest of the family enjoyed the cross-hatch method of turkey carving, which made it easier to use leftovers in soups, casseroles and anything else that called for shredded meat!

Exhausted from all the holiday preparation, Edna Sue and Virgil simply collapsed. Unfortunately, the pecan pie was still in the oven and they didn't awaken to check on it until the smoke caught their attention!

 

Monday, October 31, 2022

Happy Halloween - 2022!

Ever since Labor Day, Arch had been intending to drop about 25 lbs for Halloween, but with the start of football season tailgating and the opening of a Burger Chef only two streets away from his house, he fell a little short of his goal...

Ogg really thought he had a shot a being elected governor, but unfortunately too many people found his point of view extremely primitive.

Cheryl & Jennifer had looked so forward to rooming together during their first year at Harrisburg, but were horrified to find that the allotted time each morning prior to classes didn't allow for proper grooming and styling!

Bullet couldn't stand the gunfire any longer and finally clamped down on where he thought the ruckus was coming from, but he'd gotten a-hold of the wrong "gun!"


Petey just adored Clea and felt like their first date went amazingly well but, much to his surprise, she soon ghosted him...

Sick to death of five losing seasons in a row for the Phillipstown Banshees, Ramona finally took matters into her own hands and founded a cheering squad. It is now up to eight losing seasons in a row.


Friday, October 7, 2022

10/7/22

Dr. Schoch had a willing participant for his various experimental devices in his wife Mary Agnes, such as for this short-lived hairdryer, which promised a lovely wash & set only minutes after a vigorous swim.

Tensions ran high during the Nightwear Parade segment of the annual Dole County Elks Lodge Pageant, though, as usual, police chief Bernie Stigowicz had a leg up on the competition...

Mrs. Hefti discovered she could save on the cost of a daily school bus pickup by placing little Ronnie outside for the garbage men, since their truck passed right by Cinch Elementary at about 7:50am on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Marlene was more than thrilled with her Bicentennial bathroom makeover and couldn't stop taking snapshots of it day and night, even when husband Chuck was attempting to get ready for work!

An unexpected perk of Clayton's recent CPR training was getting to keep Chris, the mannequin, which made for far less lonely afternoons by the pool.

Medical advancements in cosmetic surgery hadn't made their way to Bedrock yet, thus Angie's new implants made quite an impression on Betty & Wilma...!

:::BONUS PIC:::

 

Deli owner Arch Goldstein was 3rd, shoe salesman Teddy Kenner was runner-up and, as predicted, Chief Stigowicz won top honors, though many secretly debated the decision.

Monday, July 4, 2022

Fourth Funnies! 7/4/22

So what if it took two months of his paper route stipend to amass his fireworks collection? Randall was going to annoy all the neighbors at any cost!

So Benji was suddenly alerted to the fact that Mr. O'Hallorhan did not appreciate stink bombs being lit under his back porch.

And it was then that the Gimbals understood the importance of wearing clothing NOT made of Dacron on Independence Day....

Everyone commented on Jacob's sense of patriotism with his prominent bandage, but the fact was he'd initially intended to lead the parade on his unicycle... up until the prior night's rehearsal!

Enid had been so elated to be voted Miss Fourth of July Firecracker by her friends on the block and handed a cherished position in the parade, but expectations far exceeded the reality of the situation.

Monday, June 27, 2022

Summer Sillies! 6/27/22

George and the gang decided to mark the transition from chlorinated to saline filtration in his pool by engaging in a spirited piggyback wrestling match.

Janet decided to explore the more recessed areas of the beach in order to find some interesting indigenous leaves and happily found some... on Dennis' swimsuit!

Jorge was amid the rocky terrain panning for gold and, thanks to Timmy having to "go" just above, he sort of discovered some...!

For Norman and Irving, winning was everything, even if the croquet game took them right up to Mrs. Hilliard's sidewalk (and former bay window...)

Kelsey had so much trouble hitting the cars behind him whenever he had to parallel park at Kresge's, he finally installed Geraldine in the back to either help tell him when to brake or to at least soften the blow if he went back too far.

Sometimes the hidden fact that Ramon had secretly posed for Venus magazine let itself be known in unconscious ways when he inadvertently allowed his guard down.

Friday, April 15, 2022

Easter Shenanigans! 4/15/22

Have a wonderful holiday weekend!

The Boylins watched with a combination of trepidation and anticipation as Aunt Anne proceeded to decapitate the chocolate bunny nestled in their annual Easter cake...

This was the last year that their parents allowed Vern and Joyce to pick their own bunnies from the table since the scuffle to get the ones they wanted had resulted in scuffed knees on Joyce.

And so Theo decided that this was the last year he'd opt for the casual look since big brother Roger seemed to get a bigger better basket by dressing up for the occasion.

The Crosbys' annual Easter Egg Hunt included the bonus feature of an inflatable rabbit hunt, but Terence's had been situated behind a bramble bush and was now losing some of its air as a result...

Kids were eager to visit Cottontail Castle and were warmly greeted by Peter at the entrance. Unfortunately, for the people of Marysville, there didn't seem to be any EXIT!

Uncle Pete had always been a prankster, but he really went to far this year with his surprise Easter basket. Anytime someone removed the chocolate bunny, they got the shock of their lives beneath it!

Ramona felt bad that her OB/GYN had to work all day on Good Friday, so she arranged a special surprise for him during her final checkup!