Tuesday, January 17, 2017

1/17/17

Having left Tiddlebrook years ago to attempt success in the record biz, it was always a little awkward for Phil to come home for the holidays and settle into the small town routine again. But thankfully, Aunt Nita still made one killer Screwdriver...
Not only was the torque so great that it pulled Angelique right out of her water skis, but for some reason the speedboat driver kept turning around to look at her instead of the water in front of him and eventually he ran aground!
A.J.'s toy steering wheel gave his sister Meredith ample training at being a backseat driver, which would come in handy later in life. This early experience made her an authority on failure to use a turn signal, irregular parallel parking, horn overuse and, most definitely, falling asleep at the wheel!

Thursday, January 12, 2017

1/12/17

After a long, hard day in her teller window at 4th National Bank of Boise, Karen couldn't wait to get home and slip out of her heels... and her earrings!
Mona wasn't too horrified by her accommodations during a retreat at Camp Squeezum, but on warm nights it could sometimes be a challenge to hear all the dialogue on "Peyton Place" over the roar of the wall unit air conditioner...
Little-known brothers Willard and Oral Reight were awfully close to perfecting the first aircraft in the backyard of their South Carolina farm before being outdone by another set of siblings in the state just north of them.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

1/10/17

Just about the time Maurice Argentil got his backyard looking just the way he wanted it, he found he was no longer able to mow the grass himself, so he made the dreaded error of hiring little Mike Zamboni from two houses down to come and do it with his tractor. For further information, please check back issues of The Jellico Gazette or True Crime magazine...
Sisterly competition ran high between Evangeline and Aurora Shellhamer. Aurora not only found it amusing that she used up all the Final Net before her sister was out of the shower but also didn't feel at all guilty that 'Ang had to show up at the New Rochelle Canasta Bruncheon in merely a headband as a result!
Curt, Eddie and Chuck had decided from the start that this guy's weekend would be a real bender, but since Chuck started his drinking on the plane, he was practically down for the count by the time they first visited Delray Beach!

Thursday, January 5, 2017

1/5/17

When Phil and Mary Lou invited Justine and Clark to join them for a frolicsome day at the beach, they hadn't realized that the visiting couple would be expecting to share everything including their only towel!
Harold Dean and Marjorie had promised the boys that if they were good at Aunt Gladys' funeral, the four of them could head to McDonald's afterwards for Big Macs and Happy Meals, but unruly Timmy really pushed the envelope when he began flying his balsa-wood biplane back and forth over the casket...
Mabel loved her new apartment and couldn't wait to take a picture of her daughter Judi in it, but it did bother her that the dividing half-wall between the living room and dining area interrupted her decorating scheme with the poly-silk, Wedgewood blue curtains she gotten at Pogue's.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

1/2/17

Thomas only had one goal at the 7th Annual Edison, New Jersey Jaycees New Year's Eve Bash and that was to brighten Carletta's night, but she would have none of it and only had eyes for Louie.
Everyone in the area knew that Angie Weatherwax had a fondness for feeding all the birds, so one day while on a particularly arduous walk, Cliff Byrd stopped in for a quick, refreshing snack!
Knowing how Myrna Loy had posed nude as a young lady for the lithe statue "Fountain of Education," Evelyn Cranapple thought she, too, might like to be commemorated for all time in a work of art, so she posed for the top tier of this Missouri totem pole, later rejoicing in being able to stand aside it for publicity purposes...
Bonus Pic: Since spare change was at a premium for roomies Chad and Teddy, one of them would often strip down completely on laundry day in order to stretch their budget as far as they could and get everything done in one load!

Thursday, December 29, 2016

12/29/16

Although Dack and Zack were twins, Zack had a particularly harsh reaction to direct sunlight, so whenever he joined the family for daytime outings, he tended to rest in the generous shade of Grandma Clara.
Paulie was so elated at getting just the bike he'd asked Santa for that he couldn't resist taking it for a spin around the living & dining area. Fortunately, a potentially serious crash was avoided when he was buffered by his sister Adrienne's balloon, which led him as an adult to consider inventing the now-standard car airbag.
Roxie was all set for New Year's down at the Coral Cougar night spot, but because she'd gone a little heavy on the false eyelashes and mascara, she mostly had to listen to rather than observe the midnight ball drop...!
Bonus Pic: Private Bunson was getting a bit tired of taking whore's baths at the remote, ill-equipped outpost he was now stationed at, so he took an old aluminum container and fashioned himself a refreshing shower, much to his fellow soldiers' dismay (or delight, as the case may be!)

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

12/27/16

For a few years in the mid-80s, Rhett and Cory had found success as the bubble gum pop act Willy Nilly, but eventually the end came courtesy of Rhett's new girlfriend Ono Yoyo, who began to commandeer all of his time under the pretense of needing to take publicity photos of him.
Having successfully faked his death for fifteen years or so at this point, Elvis would occasionally step out to the House of Wax and revisit some of his glory days as well as those of his showbiz peers such as Marilyn Monroe...
Although he knew in his heart that it was true love, Randall did worry just a little bit on that first trip back home just how accepting his Church of the Nazarene family was going to be of his new bride Rosalind.
Bonus Pic:  Morehead, Kentucky's first set of exotic male dancers went by the name of Meltdown until the fateful day when Darien (far left) caught his hair on fire near one of the candelabra's in a nightclub. Afterwards, the group struggled under the name Tight Ashes before finally disbanding.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

12/22/16

Bertha Jaye had to feign surprise at getting the very purse she'd been wanting for Christmas from Nipper, even knowing all along that she'd bought and wrapped it herself!
The Kellys didn't want Reginald to feel all alone when they left for the day to attend holiday festivities across town, so they got him a little friend to keep him company. Reginald, however, was having none of it and never even glanced at Beppo.
Myron really got into the holiday spirit and traded in his usual red kerchief for a jaunty, candy cane-like scarf, but the result was a night of unhappy sidelong glaces from many of his fellow scouts at the jamboree...

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

12/20/16

Elaine was used to Frankie taking rotten pictures of her at every family occasion, catching her with a fork to her lips or gravy dribbled onto her blouse, but this one - in which one of the jumbo marshmallows from Aunt Gert's sweet potato casserole became lodged onto her teeth - was the last straw!
Little Cameron wanted to play basketball with the Celtics so badly that he began to add protein powder to everything he ate, from Trix cereal to Happy Meals to even his fruit roll-ups and, sure enough, his body responded until he was big enough to make the team, despite being only ten years old!
As was too often the case, JoAnn spent so much time setting the table, arranging the flowers and stuffing the turkey that she didn't leave enough time for herself to get fully dressed or set her hair before the doorbell rang and hordes of Richards began to funnel into the house!

Thursday, December 15, 2016

12/15/16

Private Benjamin Chachowski learned the hard way that one could drink and brawl as much as he wanted to in Bellingham, Washington, but there was a strict policy against wearing one's shirt open to and knotted at the waist!
Elma couldn't understand for the life of her why she always seemed to be so squatty when compared to her daughter Trina, but Trina didn't have the heart to tell her she ought to start with the right shoes and proceed from there...
When Harold came home from his fishing trip with dinner, his wife Bernadette was faced with two issues: one was finding a skillet big enough to contain his catch and the other was wondering if IGA was still open and had good stock on cornmeal!