Tuesday, May 23, 2017

5/23/17

Anson was so excited to add another pet to the family and decided to call his hamster Richie, but when Rex and Monica looked into the cage, all they saw was LUNCH!
At first, everyone seemed to like Angelica's new boyfriend Buddy pretty well, but their opinion shifted somewhat when they witnessed him screaming at her across a parking lot to "Get your can over here, right now!"
Frenetta Sugartiche usually liked to spend time indoors, but could occasionally be coaxed out onto the patio for a spirited game of ping pong before bedtime.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

5/18/17

Finally, after having caught Snowball "in the act," Mrs. Sugartiche understood why her figurine suddenly had unidentified scratches all over his back (and a strangely satisfied smiling expression on his face!)
Todd was the family strongman, but did lack a bit when it came to brains. He single-handedly changed one of the tires on the RV, but forgot to secure it afterwards, whereupon it rolled into the pool and was thereafter known as "the sub."
Gerry's new bride Cecile love to get his engine racing, but then played hard to get, which was difficult for him until he had some workmen come and remove 40% of the household furniture, leaving him a clear path to glory...

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

5/16/17

During Anne-Marie's first official photo shoot, her team began to notice not only some suspicious stains around the hem of her white gown, but also a rather pungent smell. Ringo attempted to keep casual about it all, though he was the culprit...
Shawntel desperately hoped that her mother would enjoy the new 4-karat gold wristwatch that she picked up for her at K Mart, which is all she could afford after scoring six new pairs of control-top pantyhose at 30% off.
Beatrice and Mary Agnes felt certain that this new approach to meeting men would work, if only they could entice one to share the bench with them who didn't carry a bottle in a brown paper bag and smell of chewing tobacco juice.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

5/11/17

Though it took some time, Bangles finally became used to bathtime in the washing machine, the spin cycle notwithstanding, but getting dried off still presented a certain degree of reticence!
And so what ought to have been a happy birthday for Ralph became a bitter afternoon of contention because he invited 15 additional friends to swing by for cake, but Harriet only had 16 forks, which meant that one of them wasn't going to be able to have some...
Barney couldn't wait to get dolled up in his Scottish garb for Haggis Day at the 3M company office complex, but before he left the house, Bernice insisted upon checking to see if he was indeed a true Scotsman that morning.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

5/9/17

Garrison suspected that his new shorts would make him a considerable hit with the ladies, but just in case they failed to cast their magic spell, he kept a small axe and a length of cord nearby...
Melissa was so busy with her recording career that it seemed unduly trifling to take time out from work on backing tracks and synthesized arrangements just to celebrate her birthday. However, since her mom had gone to Newton's bakery for a cake, she put the brakes on her hot new version of "This Old Man (Knick Knack Paddywhack)" and took time out for a wish and one thin slice.
Volga was quite startled to come into Mr. Flyntner's master bedroom the morning after his bachelor party and fine Trina and Suzette still living it up in the en suite, but they convinced her to take a load off and join in the fun!

Thursday, May 4, 2017

5/4/17

Waynetta was proud as punch to be the new ticket clerk down at The Rialto movie house and the management was happy to have her because they knew she'd be diligent when it came to preventing minors from seeing movie intended "for mature audiences only."
One of the last happy days for Rosalie and her mother Yvonne, as weeks after this came the great debate over butter versus margarine which separated them forever after...
During the Bedfords' camping trip to Red River Gorge, they discovered too late that they'd hardly brought any clothes since dad Ricky decided to take up most of the car and half the back of the truck with coolers for his beer.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

5/2/17

Prom night at J.Riggins High School had so many young ladies wearing gowns before their years and such heavy makeup that the principal almost decided to intervene.
Solly barely made the height requirement for the U.S. Navy, but despite his diminutive size, he proved extremely helpful when it came to getting into little spots that no one else could reach!
Jacko's mother took him to task for dressing baby Sean in a jumper that was still damp. So she hung him on the clothesline for a few minutes to help dry him out!

Thursday, April 27, 2017

4/27/17

Roger figured that he and Sonja were going to have a terrific time at the senior prom, but it suddenly crossed his mind that it was going to be very interesting at graduation to watch her wear her cap and attempt to keep her tassel steady!
When the landlord decided not to continue having heat included with her rent, Miss Betthy Roth took matters into her own hands and crocheted a comfy throw to wear each evening during prime-time television.
Leroy had been warned over and over that he was dis-invited from the Alpha-Omega day cruise and when he attempted to crash it, he was dealt with accordingly!

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

4/25/17

Georgia and Rod truly loved their new boat, but sometimes it was hard to fit both of them (and Rod's "equipment") up the small stairway and onto the deck at the same time!
Zohra couldn't believe how dull The Hensons' party was, so she decided to down several Coors Lights in quick succession and make her own fun!
The Riverdale Bluebirds had never been known for their incredible basketball acumen, so Terry's mother made them all matching, initialed warm up shirts so that they could at least intimidate their opponents a bit on that front before the game even started...

Thursday, April 20, 2017

4/20/17

Rae Jean, Bert, Phyllis and Ralph had a great dinner at O'Halloran's and couldn't wait to show off their new polyester finery at the Fourth of July fireworks extravaganza, but found out the hard way how synthetic fabric reacts to falling cinders...
And so Ranger Bill discovered once again that no matter how friendly they might seem upon first meeting, one still mustn't ever trust a wild bear in the forest...
Celebrated novelist Paul Gallico was lauded for his novel (turned movie) The Three Lives of Thomasina, but neglected to offer credit to his occasional ghostwriter Socks.