12/29/16

Although Dack and Zack were twins, Zack had a particularly harsh reaction to direct sunlight, so whenever he joined the family for daytime outings, he tended to rest in the generous shade of Grandma Clara.

Paulie was so elated at getting just the bike he'd asked Santa for that he couldn't resist taking it for a spin around the living & dining area. Fortunately, a potentially serious crash was avoided when he was buffered by his sister Adrienne's balloon, which led him as an adult to consider inventing the now-standard car airbag.

Roxie was all set for New Year's down at the Coral Cougar night spot, but because she'd gone a little heavy on the false eyelashes and mascara, she mostly had to listen to rather than observe the midnight ball drop...!

Bonus Pic: Private Bunson was getting a bit tired of taking whore's baths at the remote, ill-equipped outpost he was now stationed at, so he took an old aluminum container and fashioned himself a refreshing shower, much to his fellow soldiers' dismay (or delight, as the case may be!)

12/27/16

For a few years in the mid-80s, Rhett and Cory had found success as the bubble gum pop act Willy Nilly, but eventually the end came courtesy of Rhett's new girlfriend Ono Yoyo, who began to commandeer all of his time under the pretense of needing to take publicity photos of him.

Having successfully faked his death for fifteen years or so at this point, Elvis would occasionally step out to the House of Wax and revisit some of his glory days as well as those of his showbiz peers such as Marilyn Monroe...

Although he knew in his heart that it was true love, Randall did worry just a little bit on that first trip back home just how accepting his Church of the Nazarene family was going to be of his new bride Rosalind.

Bonus Pic:  Morehead, Kentucky's first set of exotic male dancers went by the name of Meltdown until the fateful day when Darien (far left) caught his hair on fire near one of the candelabra's in a nightclub. Afterwards, the group struggled under the name Tight Ashes before finally disbanding.

12/22/16

Bertha Jaye had to feign surprise at getting the very purse she'd been wanting for Christmas from Nipper, even knowing all along that she'd bought and wrapped it herself!

The Kellys didn't want Reginald to feel all alone when they left for the day to attend holiday festivities across town, so they got him a little friend to keep him company. Reginald, however, was having none of it and never even glanced at Beppo.

Myron really got into the holiday spirit and traded in his usual red kerchief for a jaunty, candy cane-like scarf, but the result was a night of unhappy sidelong glaces from many of his fellow scouts at the jamboree...

12/20/16

Elaine was used to Frankie taking rotten pictures of her at every family occasion, catching her with a fork to her lips or gravy dribbled onto her blouse, but this one - in which one of the jumbo marshmallows from Aunt Gert's sweet potato casserole became lodged onto her teeth - was the last straw!

Little Cameron wanted to play basketball with the Celtics so badly that he began to add protein powder to everything he ate, from Trix cereal to Happy Meals to even his fruit roll-ups and, sure enough, his body responded until he was big enough to make the team, despite being only ten years old!

As was too often the case, JoAnn spent so much time setting the table, arranging the flowers and stuffing the turkey that she didn't leave enough time for herself to get fully dressed or set her hair before the doorbell rang and hordes of Richards began to funnel into the house!

12/15/16

Private Benjamin Chachowski learned the hard way that one could drink and brawl as much as he wanted to in Bellingham, Washington, but there was a strict policy against wearing one's shirt open to and knotted at the waist!

Elma couldn't understand for the life of her why she always seemed to be so squatty when compared to her daughter Trina, but Trina didn't have the heart to tell her she ought to start with the right shoes and proceed from there...

When Harold came home from his fishing trip with dinner, his wife Bernadette was faced with two issues: one was finding a skillet big enough to contain his catch and the other was wondering if IGA was still open and had good stock on cornmeal!

12/13/16

So often, Esmeralda was the most dignified and conservatively-dressed lady at the Notre Dame Alumni Dinner Dances, but then suddenly something would bring out the gypsy in her and she just had to get up and dance!

Brothers Barnabus and Stanley McDowell always had a peculiar way of punishing trespassers on their Orange, New Jersey estate and it was a practice that continued up to the late-1960s when they realized that some people were breaking on to their land just for the swatting!

Renee was happy as a clam to be invited along to Acapulco with her pals from Teachers College of Connecticut, but it always seemed like the rest of her group were dressed and ready to go before she'd so much as had a chance to shave her legs!

12/8/16

Edgar wasn't yet able to speak, but internally he was bristling at the sight of yet another jar of creamed squash and longed for the day when he could register his unhappiness with his mother Patti.

When hunting season hit the surrounding area of Ripple River and most guys were content to bag a few rabbits and maybe a deer, Bernard became the envy of everyone when his pal Bull Chief took him on a two-day excursion which put meat on the table for several months!

Over and over, Nadine had told Orville that she wanted her first trip to Niagra Falls to be a memorable one, so he made certain of it by purchasing this oversized urn with a waterproof lid and enlisted a couple of sailors on leave to help him toss her into the water just upriver of the drop-off!

12/6/16

The 3rd Annual Palmetto Beach Wrestling Tournament was among the closest ever in its brief history, though some spectators maintained that winner Abner Krueschen was given unauthorized assistance at one point from his girlfriend Mitzi.

Though some residents of Burlington Junction, Missouri bemoaned the fact that, due to the long distance to the nearest school, their children had to take a train there each day, it ultimately became useful in training them for commuting to work once they were grown up and employed in the real world.

Mrs. Adams was chastised by several of her neighbors for waiting so long to move her son Ricky out of high chairs, strollers and - as seen here - playpens, but she felt she'd been ahead of the curve to cease breastfeeding six months before this photo was snapped.

Bonus Pic: Soldiers at Camp Cannon found the conditions truly pleasant and comfortable in most cases, though there was that towel shortage in the spring of '43 that caused there to be only three on hand for every four privates...

12/1/16

Bryan had invited Marnie over to his grandma's house, where he was living in her basement, one hour early prior to the Tesla concert so that he could propose, but on the big day, he was so zoned out he not only couldn't recall having bought the ring, but also didn't know why Marnie was there so early!

And so Eduardo and Manuel posed for their yearly brotherly photograph after having just trimmed the Christmas tree. That four and a half minutes together decorating was something they looked forward to every season...

Pecos Pete and his pal Dusty knew what sort of hard day was ahead on the open trail, so they made sure to get a full bowl of vitamin-enriched cereal down their gullets before saddling up!

11/29/16

Tailgating at the Cyndi Lauper-Huey Lewis & The News concert was totally a blast for Marci and Jen, though Jen kept managing to find every bit of discarded Hubba Bubba bubble gum with the heels of her new black pumps.

Mrs. Dover was so happy to discover that son Ben had at last made a few friends at Lynde High School, but she did find it odd that when she called them to announce that the pizza was ready, the three of them were tucked away in Ben's room with the door shut!

Date night at the Sigma Delta Tau house meant that every available curler was put to use and sometimes an unfortunate gal - such as Melinda - had to make do with just a few stray leftovers on top and hope for the best!

11/24/16

Happy Thanksgiving!

Norman had to keep reminding himself that "Mother" had requested a drumstick from the turkey, so he had to be sure and not let any of the guests accidentally eat both of them!

Harva was so proud of the hours and workmanship that she put into her Thanksgiving turkey that elaborate side dishes were superfluous. She made do instead with beets, celery stalks and a little white bread with butter...

Although everything seemed safe and calm enough, Reuben the parakeet was still nervous about his future and stared at his compadre the turkey with a blend of grief, guilt, remorse and even a dash of relief!

11/22/16

As it came time for Vernon and Fern to exchange their presents to one another, Fern seemed certain that she'd gotten the French lace bed-jacket she'd requested while Vernon couldn't escape the feeling that he'd been given a new Lucite topper for the tree, which had been strangely naked at its tip so far this season...

Although some members of the family found bachelor Uncle Melvin more than a little nerdy, no one - least of all Carol Beth - could deny that he always gave the BEST presents at Christmastime!

Chip Dontia was always a big show-off down at Silver Springs pool, but fortunately, whenever his gymnastic exploits met with disaster due to excess suntan oil on the pavement, his dentist father could patch him up right away at a substantial discount.

11/17/16

Although Arthur and Evelyn had gone all out in their Halloween costumes and decorating, their party had to be classified as a failure since no guest could stand to look at them for longer than ten minutes before getting the creeps and leaving!

Leatha couldn't believe her incredible luck when her very first portrait sitting led to offers for modeling jobs. The let-down came, however, when she arrived at the first gig and discovered that she'd been hired to model ladies gloves and that her face would never be seen...

During Wertheim's first visit to America, the neighbors thought it might be a fun ice-breaker and mixer to enjoy a spirited game of Duck Duck Goose on the front lawn, but it all went south when he misunderstood the directions involving "goose."

Bonus Pic: By far, Margot's favorite activity at Undulating Acres Health Farm was learning calisthenics from Marty, the on-site physical education director.

11/15/16

File Photo: Vallenda Watkins' last known snapshot with her wiglet attached. Moments after this, a pelican decided that it would make a nice addition to its nest at a nearby pier and snatched it away.

And so during this impromptu group photo, Sammy found out why his rowing coach always tried to impress upon the team the importance of properly stowing unused oars out of harm's way...

Sherilyn adored little Audrey, but did admit that she'd been hoping for a little bit more hair on her out of the gate so that she could tease it up into a dazzling look for the christening.

Bonus Pic:  Teensey, Iowa may have had an unusually significant number of diminutive people living there, but nonetheless boasted a vigorous police department, whose detectives weren't about to let a couple of hearty sailors make off with what appeared to be a stolen camera.

11/10/16

At long last, Alethia was being trusted to sit in church with her parents for the first time instead of being bunched in with the other babies in the nursery and she insisted on a special hairdo for the occasion!

Thus, with the first nightfall at Camp Spreadabout, initiation rituals were underway, though things were cut short when a stray cinder from the bonfire made its way between Wayne Babbitt's thighs!

All evening, Lorene struggled with just how to approach it, but finally she felt it best to proceed head on, so she looked Suzanne right in the face and told her that indeed her hair had fallen...