6/19/15

Just as people throughout time have wondered who the model was for the Venus de Milo or Winged Victory, the citizens of Hartville, Missouri had been curious who posed for their treasured Queen of Hart Throne, in use at every official Valentine's Day dinner dance for twenty-five years, but finally one day Esther Hippleman stepped forward and revealed that it had been she!

Even as the ceremony ended and Sigrid was ready to take off on her honeymoon, her maiden aunts Agatha and Gertrude continued to argue over every detail of the day, including who was responsible for failing to step outside and put some more coins in the parking meter!

A lot of the townspeople in Youngstown, Ohio hounded Jerry Stringer for taking a child bride and even daring to have a baby of their own, but the simple truth was that Susan Stringer was actually thirty-one years of age, one year older than Jerry!  She just had never gotten quite enough milk or orange juice as a toddler...

And so an otherwise uneventful canoe ride for Miranda was jarred into inescapable hilarity when Barry's swim trunks ripped open down the front and revealed that the lining had long ago deteriorated and fallen out!

File photo of the little-known music act that was used as a threat to Tony Orlando and Dawn's variety series. If Tony demanded too much money or his ratings slipped too far, Andy Tampa and Sunset were ready to take over the time slot!

Up to this point, everything had gone smashingly at Janie's birthday party, but her brother Pete picked a spectacularly inopportune moment to toss her the new bowling ball she'd gotten as a gift from Aunt Gert!