8/30/13

Grandma Severn has been so delighted to keep the girls for two weeks until Tammy chipped a piece of her carnival glass and Ronda was caught twice with boys; once behind the cistern and another time in the canning cellar.

Jill never worried about her weight.  She knew she had personality and pizzazz to spare and could afford that second jar of bananas and the occasional Devil Dog.

Elspeth found out the hard way that the front steps were not the place to perfect The Jitterbug, but thankfully her mother was near by with a Cutex bandage.

Shirley, still hung over from a festive night on the town, once again made the dreaded mistake of sprinkling bathroom cleanser on her French toast instead of powdered sugar!

In order to please Great Aunt Sissy, Michelle and Leesa posed with the stuffed bears she'd brought them from her trip to Washington state, but Leesa knew that she was out the door within moments because the Anthrax concert was starting in 45 minutes.

Jeff and Karen loved to cut up and pose little Howard for funny shots like these, but Aunt Louise didn't cotton to that type of foolishness.  

8/28/13

Jim and his fiancee Helena were always welcome at all of The Woodson's family get-togethers, even if Helena's hair blocked 60% of the light from the family room lamp....

And so another one of Therese's festive holiday dinners was spoiled because a tipsy Richard mistook the hall closet for the bathroom.

Residents at Easy Nook Retirement Village always looked forward to social director Clarice's parties, especially Halloween when she sometimes broke out her now-tight to the point of tearing Playboy Club cocktail waitress uniform.

Evelyn often enjoyed whiling away afternoons at Mrs. McGregor's house and was up for any game she chose, but on this dress-up day she politely excused herself and then ran for the hills when she spotted a cauldron of boiling water with carrots, potatoes and onions in it!

Lori knew that meeting a celebrity in person could sometimes be a let-down, but nothing had prepared her for the dejection of running into famed Russian ballet dancer Rudi Balenkoff outside the theatre.

Allison thought she'd made herself clear that she didn't want any more stinkin' colored tights again for her birthday and as she picked up and squeezed the first present, the stream of heartfelt threats began.

8/26/13

Santa had been kind to Schmidts this Christmas.  Not only did little Michael have food for two months, but Farfel got a new bed in the bargain.

Much like their treasured paint-by-numbers artwork, Antoinette and Sylvia could reflect on their lengthy, colorful friendship and recall when each little piece of excitement had fallen into place...

Harriet and her mother Selma couldn't believe that after all their preparation (not to mention praying!), they only came in fourth at the 3rd Annual Elmwood Acres Mother-Daughter Pageant.  Next year, they would shelve the baton-twirling talent segment and go back to playing the water glasses.

Melinda had her fingers crossed that Randy would make the cut for this year's Dallas Cowboys team because it meant a new roof for their less-than-sturdy condo.

Cassandra and Glen's wedding went off splendidly, but they couldn't know at this moment that waiting in the wings was the once-jilted Carlton, who had no intention of giving up his passionate obsession... with Glen.

Fun was fun, but after this fourth go-round, Rex had made up his mind that if this bite of sandwich was all bread with no trace of bologna, all bets were off and he was going back to his basket in the den.

8/23/13

It was hard work, but Shelley didn't mind at all having to mow the sidewalk while her daddy took care of the lawn proper...

Buzz & Caren & Tom & Allison nestled in to watch a racy swingers flick in anticipation of their own night of fun to come, but unfortunately Allison wasn't as on board with the whole scheme as the other three were.

Becky and Ronald Allen had finally reached the top, 1st Place in Fox Trot at the annual Starbright Dance Fair, but there was only one way to go from here...

Dinner was heavenly, drinks were divine and the dancing was snug, but enjoyable.  Still, Kimberly knew that tonight was the night that she and Clinton were finally going to have to have a talk about the unibrow...

Old rivals Nedra and Billie Faye commenced with their semi-annual face-off at the beach, even though the source of their animosity - Ralph Berkmeier - had dropped dead thirteen years prior!

When this picture of Tommy Sampson was taken at 12:35am on Wednesday night at girlfriend Dee Dee's, he had no idea he'd wake up the next morning with a Caesar cut.

8/21/13

Fort Beaton prided itself on its stringent, exceptionally harsh regulations and punishments.  The trouble was, Private Ernie Massokyst actually LIKED it!

Her decoy firmly in place, Rosamund knew that she would never again have to suffer through a lunch of hominy and stewed cauliflower and promptly hitched a ride to the nearest burger joint.

Now that Twyla and Rhonda Jean had collaborated on hurling the flaming paper bag of doggie doo into Mr. Pinkerman's yard, they had a feeling it would be a long time before he would again gripe to their father about stray volleyballs and paper airplanes on his property.

Ramona was in her glory, but Trish had quite obviously had her fill of "historic" Colonial Stringtown...

Carol Sue and Lynda had left nothing to chance, from their costumes to their hairstyling, in preparing to win first place in the Copperfield County Magic Fair.

After a little help from Mom with just two more coats of Light Egyptian body makeup, Betty Lynn would at last be ready to audition for Anita in the Boggle Creek Players production of "West Side Story."

8/19/13

Sneezy had fallen on his share of hard luck since Snow White went off and married Prince Charming and the other dwarves dispersed their separate ways, but on days like this he could treasure the framed portrait they'd all had done and remember the good times...

Since the purchase of their third-hand, black and white television set, Irini and Tetra finally had something to brighten up their nights.  Sadly, only one fifteen minute program - "Borscht and You" - was ever aired during those dark days after the revolution.  

Bick Dutton had worked tirelessly every morning for seven months to perfect his flying camel spin in preparations for the Twizzle County Figure Skating Championships and felt that he was just weeks away from trying it out on the ICE!

Irv Cleghorn hadn't become a regional manager of Vlassic Pickles for nothing.  It took sweat, grit (and, to be truthful, the desire to please his rockin' wife Julie) to really make it in such a cutthroat business.

Frank and Tony hadn't had a four-day pass like this in eight months or more and had no intention in the slightest of "pacing themselves."

As she made that final swing around the Bramblewood Country Club Ballroom, Celeste had no idea that this would be her last appearance at the annual fashion show.  Madame Cynthia refused to employ models who tried to make attendees notice themselves more than the dresses they were supposed to be showcasing.

8/16/13

This Thanksgiving, Charisse and Jim only had a few moments to pose for this family shot before it was time to load the  car with all the food (and all her hair) for the ride to grandma's house.

At long last, Melanie had found a way to re-purpose all the unlucky birds that Scratchy had brought to the front porch.  With one can of red spray paint, she'd made Christmas spectacular!

Samantha believed that the first day of school was a special time that called for special hair.  She just prayed all day that the rain held off until 3:15.

After a long, long night of cocktail waitressing at The Black Bunion, JoEllen was ready to relax and see what was on "The Late Late Show" that night.

Librarians Betty Rae and Melba were so elated that the town's tax levy passed, thus ensuring their  positions for another five years, that they immediately broke out the bourbon and scotch for an impromptu celebration!

Eloise woke up with the firm knowledge that the scales of justice had swayed and that today was simply not going to be her day...

8/14/13

Even in their free time away from the circus, the famed tightrope act The Amazing Slipshods were so closely knit that they would often browse stores or attend local events in their performance formation.

The Tannenbaum children enjoyed performing the live nativity each year, inheriting new roles every so often as they grew, yet no matter who played who, Carol the angel always had to change baby Jesus' diapers...

Stu somehow thought that his wedding reception with Lorraine was as good a time as any to suavely inform her that he'd just so happened to get her sister Judy pregnant several months before.

After one look at the tidal wave of toasters and blenders that Renee and Jeffrey received on their big day, Renee was relieved that Jeff had been promoted to second assistant manager of the Wee-Stor-It storage facility as their apartment only had four cabinets in it and one 2' x 5' counter-top.

Doreen found out the hard way, and on one of the summer's hottest days, that she'd finally outgrown the slide that her father had put up four years prior.

Over and over again at his electronics shop, Lawrence had to make it clear to customers that the purchase of his state-of-the-art stereo equipment did NOT include the 2 x 3 photograph of his girlfriend Angelique.

8/12/13

Blackie didn't give a hoot if it was plowing time for Mr. Digglemeyer.  He'd carefully planted six different bones in the field and had no intention of standing by and allowing them to be unearthed prematurely!

Brett was disappointed that Marjorie forgot to pack his flip-flops (or even his sneakers) for their trip to Martha's Vineyard, but the real let-down came later that first night when he realized the sort of tan lines he was going to be in for...

Mrs. Lovejoy had long suspected that the claw-bearing animosity between Clifford and Suzi was just for show and now, in a flash, she had photographic proof that deep down they actually loved one another.

Caroline's parents were thrilled that she had been voted Miss Apple Butter of 1971 and intended to document every step of the night, though at one stage, she worried that she'd never make it to the presentation ceremony!

Some folks might have been skeptical in allowing their lovely teen daughter to go riding with Clip, the school's star quarterback, but Gale's father knew that she was corn-fed and strong enough to take care of herself in any situation.

It's not that Wanetta disliked all the detailed medical attention she was getting from the staff at Airborne Health Center, but after twenty minutes of this, she began to wonder when anyone was going to look at what had brought her there to begin with... a broken toe.