1/30/15

As a matter of fact, Tim wasn't really enjoying his budget cruise at all, but no one could deny that the sea air was doing wonders for his hair growth!

Ivan was always an early riser, but on this particular morning, after licking up some of the spillage on Jack & Maureen's wet bar, he was already due for a quick nap at only 9:50am!

In what was certainly a first for Noreen (aka: The Tooth Fairy), one of her recipients woke up in the middle of the night and discovered her using their bathroom! However, she knew she was never going to make the rest of her stops if she hadn't gone when she did.

Contrary to what the Life cereal commercials proclaimed ad nauseam, at home in the morning, during breakfast with his little sister Tracy, Mikey did not in fact actually like it...

After this fourth pile up at 180 Meyer Lane, it seemed clear that someone was going to have to politely ask Mrs. Hormel to quit tossing her unwanted bacon grease out onto the front lawn and sidewalk every other morning...

Barbara Jo was highly proud of the fact that, at 51, she could still slip into the party dress she wore for her 13th birthday party. And it fit beautifully so long as she never turned her back to anyone and stayed plastered to the furniture along the outer wall of the sun room...

1/28/15

It would have been easy for David and Jeanine to be bitter about only coming in third in the 2nd Annual Burt Reynolds and Farrah Fawcett Look-Alike Contest, but frankly they were looking quite forward to dinner for two at Steak & Ale and would also enjoy the VHS copy of "Cannonball Run."

Even though all four gals had piled in the car and driven to Chillicothe, Ohio for the night, restless Lisa Jane was hereby voting to ditch the outdoor drama "Tecumseh" and see if there couldn't be a little indoor drama at one of the local watering holes...

Their personal styles couldn't have been more diverse, with Aldo a sun-worshipper from the start and Jeff far preferring the shade of the umbrella, but both of them represented the best life-saving techniques that Wildwood Beach Patrol had to offer.

As soon as Charlie learned to speak, he intended to gently suggest to Aunt Thelma that she not pair tuna fish and Ritz crackers with a cigarette just before she sang and patted him to sleep for his afternoon nap...

Bereft of any swim trunks during their stop at Force-Kin Beach, Korea, the boys of Company D thought they'd found a great way to save their modesty until someone felt the need to say "Fetch!" in front of their mascot, Nipper.

Little Rose just never felt at home with her family, seeming somehow out of place her entire life until she turned eighteen and moved to Applewood where she served as caregiver to seven little people who had trouble keeping their condo clean and orderly.

1/26/15

Unquestionably the highlight of the Lester family reunions for young Eddie was the entertainment period, in which he could allow Cy the Ranger to tell everyone exactly what he himself thought of them!

Wayne told Gloria that he had a nice, cozy, quiet evening planned for them and that was exactly what was going to take place whether she was in the mood for it or not!

Mavis and Clara Lou thought they had really covered the tracks of their relationship carefully, but it was very hard to sneak anything past Aunt Ida, who had them all figured out...

Though she hadn't been kidding the first three times she came into the kids' room to tell the little snots to settle down and get to sleep, this time Joann really meant it!

Elsa was highly disturbed to receive her latest issue of Better Homes and Gardens and discover that sofa arms inset with patterned fabric to match the seat cushions was already being described as passe when she'd only completed the project a week and a half ago!

One of Debi's favorite tasks each morning was to take a scrutinizing look at her teddy bear collection and determine which lucky one would get to come down to the bank and sit in the teller window with her all day. This time Fluffy was the lucky one since, out of all the other bears, his outfit coordinated most with her own...

It didn't take long for Heidi to discover the stringent regulations at The Alpine School for Girls, especially when she failed to properly separate the colors from the whites come laundry time.

1/23/15

Prior to heading off to Helsinki for their gender transformations, Tracy and Pat first opted to experiment during a day at the beach as male sunbathers just to see if they liked it as much as they thought they would.

True, there was a brief period of deliberating, but in the end Phyllis determined that her late husband Roy would probably not, in fact, mind if she ran through part of his estate money with her new beau Randy, the dry cleaning delivery boy.

Shep and Rudy had placed a friendly wager that whichever of the two of them popped the cork on his bottle of champagne first could go in to neighborhood good-time gal Lou Anne's apartment ahead of the other one...

At this point, some of her numerous personal possessions were beginning to encroach on the sightlines of her 21" Magnavox, even interfering with her ability to enjoy "Tic Tac Dough,"so Rosita was considering putting a few things out in the next community yard sale...

At first, Richie was eager to meet up with Snoopy and tell him how much he loved him, but after coming up to him from behind, it was clear that the famous dog really needed a trip to the groomers for a good bath before he was truly ready to meet the public.

Summer weekends with health nut Aunt Sue and her all-bran cereal, vegetarian hot dogs and her special recipe dandelion soup, tended to be torture for Brian, but the one highlight was hopping in the car on Sunday afternoon and heading into Gravelton, Indiana for some yogurt!

1/21/15

The day after Daisy Duck was seen exiting Goofy's doghouse at 6:30am while Donald Duck was on tour was more than a busy one at The Disneyland News, a periodical whose muckraking abilities were unrivaled at the time.

During weekend visitation, Tracy loved it when Daddy fell asleep in the midst of TV time because it meant she could watch all the forbidden programs like "Dallas" and "Falcon Crest" that normally weren't permitted for someone her age.

Walter and Anita were fully aware that the Kamanamaha Poolside Fire Baton & Weenie Roast Spectacular didn't begin for another hour and a half, but they were determined to get a great vantage point for the festivities...

Josie's work was never done, so she often sped through giving her brothers their evening baths. The result being that sometimes Greg wound up with an inordinate amount of soap and water in his ears!

Gary was early to pick up Terry for the Ronnie Milsap concert, but all along she threatened to make them both late by insisting that before they leave she would have to water each and every one of the plants!

Even though the hostess had told him distinctly three times in a row, Xan still could not quite wrap his mind around the fact that not only was there no Karaoke at The Golden Monkey tonight, but that they'd discontinued it completely!

Verna thought she'd slipped out of Pompeii's Grotto with a few extra rolls and a chicken leg completely undetected, but was suddenly accosted by the buffet's greeter/bouncer Mean Gene just before entering her car.

1/19/15

Reynard might have been housebroken since his puppy years, but occasionally he liked to prove that he still had it when it came to his bird-tracking skills, such as when he managed to sniff out Harpy the parakeet in just seven and a half minutes...

Lola hoped in her heart that the staff at The Imperial Lotus Hotel & Conference Center wouldn't miss a few blossoms out of the floral arrangement in the lobby, but she simply had to snag a couple in order to fully realize the potential of this impromptu snapshot portrait.

Back during his twenties, Bart Conner's pet kitten Olga liked to join in with her owner any way she knew how as he trained for the Olympics. Later in 1984, she enjoyed bouncing around the room, chasing the reflection from his gold medal.

Since those lazy kids slept through breakfast with the adults, Phyllis and Jenny improvised afterwards by calling the children in to start the day off with some "breakfast scramble!"

Sarge emphasized to Private Partz and Private Arrias that drinking plenty of the base's coffee would put hair on their chests and make men out of them, but Private Arrias remained skeptical...

True it was sunny now, but the nights grew cold quickly in Mesa del Sol, thus Gordon was glad that it was his night to join Marge inside the camper and Bowser would now have to take his turn in the backseat of the car.

1/16/15

Few things beat a day at the lake shore, but as there was only one solitary bench at Craggy Nook Inlet, Hortense, Polly, Fern, Rita and Cynthia Anne had to share it in order not to ruin their lovely new swimsuits!

Nothing pleased Lily Munster more than taking a fresh batch of batwing cookies out of the oven just in time to see her son Eddie bolting up the driveway after departing the school bus because she knew he'd be ready for an afternoon bite...

Armand always enjoyed listening to the tales of "Rex, the Wonder Dog" on the radio, but during some of the more tense segments, he felt the need to stick close to Reggie for moral support.

At the family campground in Atkinsville, Eugene was called upon from an early age to entertain everyone after supper, even though the number of chords he could strike on the guitar were quite limited at first...

As patiently as they could, the Jantzen children counted down the seconds before "Adult Swim" would finally end and they could once again jump into the pool at Spitz Motor Lodge and Taffy Outlet.

Honestly, Hugh was only taking a picture of the interior of Fast Eddie's Diner, a charming lunch spot he'd come upon during his business trip to Sweetwater, but Eddie thought that the photo was really aimed at his girlfriend and head waitress, Bambi.

1/14/15

And so Louise found her self with an agonizing choice:  Allow Rodney to enjoy his sizeable din-din or cut him in half and rescue her beloved gerbils, Fred and Ginger...

Yet another family gathering for The Flushings involved an evacuation onto the front porch because Great Uncle Leroy felt the need to use the bathroom with the door cracked just after dessert...

While The Fieldcrests were certainly pleased that Myron had finally landed a first date, they didn't know Marlene at all and so they gently insisted that she use a towel when sitting on their favorite sectional (which Myron did as well, in solidarity.)

Griseldis had no intention of letting Henrick out of his chair until he assured her that he indeed would take the blame for the chipped piece of Delft in the breakfast nook even though it had been she who damaged it by playing Spijkerpoep where she shouldn't have been!

Were it not for the heroic efforts of Carlton, the dog with the discerning snout, Racine might have gotten away with stealing Loretta's prized engraved lighter, but he was able to sniff it out before Racine put her coat on.

Karla and Janine had plans to head inside after lunch and play beauty shoppe, but Karla was already strategizing about Janine's eyebrows and wondered if Mrs. Derthal kept any wax on hand.