4/30/14

Today marks the first birthday of Krazy Kaptions! It positively flew by. Thank you to all of my visitors who continue to get a kick out of the zany, charming photos that are featured on this site. No matter how sarcastic it gets, I dearly love the people in these shots and their often-fun clothes and furnishings! And now, a bonus picture to kick off this special day!

The kids were having such a great time at the birthday party, the once-concerned moms eventually began to relax about the way man-obsessed Sheree had arranged all the balloons in the form of her boyfriend Pete's genitalia!

Always feeling destined for greatness, Melanie made certain she retained all the focus, even in simple snapshots with her brother Jake...

In an early, unpublicized instance of a sinkhole, the Schafters nearly lost Aunt Norma when she stepped out of her wicker chair to get more Coppertone and swiftly descended into the sand!

Knowing how frisky it made Reggie, Lynette liked to parade around the pool in his favorite patio dress, always keeping exactly what she had on under it a secret until the eleventh hour.

At the Shining Cliffs Badminton Club and Resort, Samuel and Irv enjoyed this primo girl-watching spot so much that they often skipped breakfast in order to secure it before the ladies' a.m. calisthenics class began on the nearby lawn...

Mary Alice, Karolyn and Lil loved to have coffee at Karolyn's because each cup was only 20% coffee... the rest being Frangelico!

Although Celestina quite liked her smart-looking hat, she knew that after an hour and a half at Sylvette's, she could put it away because her new look was going to be worth showing off to the whole world!

4/28/14

As they took their place in the receiving line, Dianne dreamed that maybe Fred would be her own groom some day.  First, however, she would have to convince him to actually speak to her...

Leona and Mervyn's happy day had gone off without a hitch... right up until a brave tree squirrel ran up the side of their wedding cake and claimed the topper for use as decor in his knothole nest!

The final round of the Little Miss Sunflower Pageant brought out the worst when it comes to competitiveness, as Rebecca Sue proceeded to hack off one of Lindsay's limbs and pour gasoline down inside it to kill her off and win the crown herself!

Family picture day at The Parolas was one of mom Helen's favorite occasions, but the rest of the family ranged from abject boredom to utter fatigue.

As Halloween drew closer and closer, Suzie worried that people might not recognize her costume of "Elizabeth Taylor," so to get the point across, she doused herself in her mother Ronnie's Wihite Diamonds perfume...

Veronica was proud that not only had she managed to color-coordinate her chair to her ensemble, but she'd found an ingenious way to avoid leaving Final Net residue on the back of it!

4/25/14

It was enough for Renaldo Sambuca to have to live on his parents vineyard, where he stomped grapes all day to help make the wine, but when the family business expanded to apple juice, he grew very close to drawing the line and running away!

Ever since his mother Renee put up new wallpaper in the dining room, little Chip no longer dreaded having to stand in the corner whenever he acted up...

Cleavon was forbidden to climb on his grandmother's treasured living room sofa, but since it was Easter, she did allow him to briefly lean against it for a quick snapshot.

Bob, Carol, Ted and Alice felt that the blind man's bluff number during the Sawmill Square Dancing and Finger Sandwich Hoe Down was the perfect time to take the term "swing your partner" to a whole new level, so they went home with the opposite spouse!

Time and again, Jerry had come home from the salon disappointed in his hair, but this time he took an example with him to show Kayla Jean so that his perm would be rolled to perfection.

Myrtle and Bertram were forever grateful to Dr. Berger for having their partial plates ready in time for Christmas Eve, especially since Melanie's turkey practically needed a reciprocating saw in order to cut through it!

4/23/14

The entire party had been a blast, but then someone had to go and put Joe Cocker's "You Are So Beautiful" in the CD player, causing some unwelcome and decidedly uncomfortable sentimentality to the evening...

Ralph couldn't bark any louder.  It was 7:58pm, no one was in the living room and the TV still wasn't turned on for "The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin!"

Even Hazel herself wasn't able to explain to Gordon how she'd managed to run over one of IGA's shopping carts and drag it all the way back home underneath her car, but the upside was that they now had a few extra (and dented) canned goods and an additional four unbroken eggs to help get them through the week.

Not even the threat of rain could dampen Gloria's spirits this Halloween.  She had it goin' on and new it was going to be a spectacular holiday!

Allison's mother had carped at her since infancy that going barefoot all the time could widen her feet and give her fallen arches, but she wouldn't listen.  Now here it was the first day of school and they couldn't find any white sneakers in her size...

All the other showgirls had warned Lydia that Las Vegas was full of wolves who would eagerly take advantage of her, but somehow in the case of Boris she didn't seem to mind.

4/21/14

Ten years after the disbanding of The Super Friends, Wonder Woman attempted a reunion, but things just weren't the same. Superman and Robin didn't even come, Batman had become a small-town sheriff, Aquaman had gained weight and was running a catfish farm, Zan had gone Goth and Jayna became a gypsy who hung out with Spider-Man half the time.

Mervyn did not appreciate having his photo snapped after 10:30, which was his private "cozy up" time...

Even in the crib, Bernadette saw and heard things that no one else could take notice of. Here, she's listening to a message from beyond to eat all her veggies so she will grow up strong and healthy.

Frances didn't believe in a wide variety of items on the menu at the Exhaust Pipe Cafe and Pit Stop, choosing to focus only on those specialties for which she'd been praised all her life, though in 1987 she did shock everyone by adding Grilled Chicken Salad to the list.

Rodney got a call from his parents asking if he'd managed to acquire all the things he needed for his new apartment, though at this juncture he opted not to tell them one of them was Connie...

One of seventy-two year-old Ira Finkelstein's favorite pranks was to dress in baby clothes, sit in a buggy and surprise admiring passersby with a sudden, jarring rendition of "Skip to My Loo." 

4/18/14

Try as he might, Doctor Colonna couldn't obtain a proper heartbeat from Private Buttram and finally had to mark it down as irregular.

Having already missed both the Patti Page and the Four Freshman concerts, Gloria was determined to make it to see Conway Twitty, even if she didn't have a ticket and might have to risk jail time in order to do it!

Barbara had been through the wringer, in and out of treatment centers from coast-to-coast and just simply could not get the monkey off her back...

After giving it three separate tries, each one worse than the previous, Raymond decided that he simply could not stand the new drinking fountain that his parents had put out back and from now on, he'd just come inside for a quick sip of Kool-Aid whenever he got thirsty.

The bowl of rawhide chips was ready, every sleeping bag had a squeaky toy in it and fresh water bowls were on hand in the kitchen.  Chester was at last ready for his first Pantzripp Obedience School sleep-over.

Unable to get even an ounce of peace in the living room, Esmerelda took to the back yard in order to practice her gypsy fertility dance for the upcoming Elks Lodge Champagne and Hard Salami Officers Meeting.

4/16/14

After he'd had his own swim for half an hour, Buford's wife LuAnn asked him to get out so that the lake water would be more shallow when the boys took their dip!

Tricks like fetching the newspaper or rolling over on cue were one thing, but Sebastian was starting to lose patience with Kathy about the time he was induced into providing piggyback rides for her doll collection.

Clifford believed in politeness, so he waited until Lenore had completely finished her chicken leg, macaroni salad and limeade before making his romantic feelings known to her.

At this point it was unanimous.  Never again would the guys allow Private Johnson to drink that much before bed if he wasn't going to be able to hold it until morning.

Todd was accused of having an accident in his new yellow pajamas until it was discovered that Michelle had merely brushed her quickly-melting chocolate Easter bunny in a most inopportune spot earlier that morning!

If Cyril was indeed going to carry through with his ultimate plan of neighborhood control and domination, he was going to have to have a talk with his dad about parking the car right in front of his bike!

4/14/14

As the training wore on, Ernst began to realize that this "walking" was more trouble than it was worth and saw no need to continue when his mother Ulla was fully capable to toting him wherever he needed to go...

And so on that last Saturday night before going to enter the convent at Nonnburg Abbey on Monday, young Maria Rainer put on one last guitar recital, never realizing that fate would later lead her to use the sound of that instrument's music to win over a new husband and a passel of kids!

Herman looked everywhere for the post hole digger to no avail, so with the help of Robbie, he improvised...

The judging panel stood ready to crown 1957's new Miss TRESemme', though it must be said that each and every one of them secretly believed that her own hair was far shinier and healthier than that year's winner...

Elbert felt himself more than lucky in marrying Virginia for not only was he getting a helpful and sturdy bride, but after today, her dress could be refashioned into curtains for the powder room with her veil serving as the sheers.

Now long overshadowed by The Village People, the one-hit wonder group The City Folk had a Top 200 hit in 1979 with "Ain't Nobody Like Me."  Unfortunately, once the laughs subsided, so did the success.

4/11/14

Although only fresh off the plane on the very first day of their Tatting and Macrame Convention, Verdette and Nancy Jo had already made a pact that what happened in Vegas, stayed in Vegas...

Back from his missionary trip to the Aguaruna tribes of Peru, Eddie decided to try out the shrunken head methods he'd picked up on poor Uncle Charlie, who failed to see the humor.

Following his family's tour of the Truman horseradish canning company, little Joey couldn't quite wait until they got to the car before expressing his take on both the place and the product offered.

As if her day at The Snip 'n Clip hadn't been long enough, Harriet found herself with a Herculean task at 5:15; Mrs. Wiggleschnoz wanted a complete overhaul in order to attend a charity dinner that began at 6:00!

It was a photo finish in the first ever Gaines-Burgers Man vs Dog Competition, with Todd barely managing to eke out a win over Archibald, who hit a brief snag during the rope swing and lagged a bit in the tire obstacles.

Knowing that the surgical masks in the OR would cover her nose and mouth, Harva opted to accentuate her eyebrows so that her personality would come through to the doctors as they performed their tasks at hand...