3/31/16

Some folks may have thought it wasteful for the single Mr. Carmichael to fire up the grill for one single hot dog, but he was careful to make only a small flame out of six briquettes so that a bag of them would last all summer long...

Betsy was eager to learn to walk and took off down the driveway, but neither her Aunt Fern nor her mother Cathie were willing to bend down in their snug skirts to pick her up when she face-planted. it was up to Uncle Griff to keep an eye on her.

Randall loved living with Mary Alice and even put up with her obsessive mushroom fetish, but he couldn't help but balk when she suggested a few slices in his morning cereal!

3/29/16

Millicent was hell bent on having a stylish and comfy new muff for the Sweet-Tart Dinner Dance, but since her family couldn't afford real fur, they had to shave poor Toby's midsection and painstakingly adhere his coat to the flannel loop with some Elmer's glue...

Robbie only enjoyed TV shows like "S.W.A.T.," "The Rookies" and "Starsky and Hutch" and declared that if his sister Denise turned on "Donny and Marie" or "The Brady Bunch Variety Hour" one more time he was going to take matters into his own hands!

Anita and Bob thought their ceremony went okay, but felt that the big draw was the delicious punch made with fresh Florida orange juice, pineapple juice and a splash of Triple Sec...

3/24/16

Craig had to pull a double-shift at the peat mine and, since he needed to scrub up before joining in, wound up late for a party at his own house! His wife Camille, though, had prepared so many delicious treats that the guests didn't want to wait for him to try each and every one right away!

Private Russell had fretted and agonized over how his platoonmates would react to his naturally-large breasts, but he needn't have worried. After one afternoon of initial skepticism, he soon became the hit of the base camp!

Beatrice wasn't sure if Hannibal was going to like the new liver treats she brought home from the A & P, but it turned out he was quite fond of them. In fact, he wound up frolicking all over the living room and part of the hall in an attempt to secure the entire box from her before she finally threw them at him and locked herself in the bathroom!

3/22/16

Elise got a little tired of waiting for Aunt Francine's Easter ham to finish cooking and thought she'd tide herself over with a grape or two from the wall decor. Chewy and tough as they were, they still were easier to digest than the ham that finally made its way to the table!

Willy thought he'd made it staggeringly clear to his parents and siblings that he needed to use the toity and could not take time out for a family snapshot, but they proceeded on regardless. Let's just say that the walls weren't the only thing yellow in that room after the photo was taken...

Antoinette had originally planned to wear her new hard contact lenses during the outing to the Roama's family farm, but they were irritating her eyes, so she did without. This didn't prevent her from enjoying all the animals on site, including this friendly "cat."

3/17/16

Mary Celeste and Colleen weren't about to walk into the annual St. Patrick's Day bruncheon at Casey's Pot O' Gold Cafe without a four-leaf clover, so they pulled over at the first sign of foliage, though Colleen did end up losing her wiglet to the heavy wind and rough water...

As he headed out to the second annual St. Patrick's Day 1.5K Walk-a-Thon, Desmond realized how lucky he was that Gold Circle had offered 15% off all their athletic gear AND that they were well-stocked with green items!

Maureen hadn't really wanted to attend The Shaughnnesey's St. Patrick's Day bash, but with each glass of green beer, the evening became more and more tolerable until about 1:15am when she broke down and actually began having fun!

3/15/16

While it may be true that The Trogwines had no taste and bore no shame at leaving their holiday lights up until March, their dog Farfel was far more conscientious and finally took it upon himself to climb up to the eaves of the house and pull the offending decorations down with his teeth!

Wanetta Fay was happy that her daughter Connie had learned how to make a comfy afghan during her third year of Home Ec, but still fretted that until she was able to do something about that flat hair she was likely to remain single indefinitely...

Susan took so long coming up with just the right hairstyle for the Whitesnake concert that she darn near missed the opening number (not to mention she left Walgreen's without a single tub of gel or a can of hairspray for four days until their supply truck arrived!)

3/10/16

In an early example of her later crusade to end cigarette smoking, Melissa put small dabs of chewing gum on the end of her mawmaw's, mom's and older sister Julee's Virginia Slims to see if that might slow them up a bit...

Doubtlessly one of the most memorable parts of Eileen and Kris's trip to Gotham City was heading to a dance party at The Batcave and getting to show off their spanking new Gennera get-ups to a jealous public.

For years, Carolina had heard that blondes have more fun, so finally she took the plunge and lightened her locks while on vacation at Praia da Luz, resulting in such a swarm of attention that she had trouble remembering all the gentlemen callers' names!

3/8/16

As fun as the place was, the one big downside for Filbert at Camp Chumbawumba was that every bathing suit issued for swimming hole time was "one size fits all!"

Sergeant Crickshank had received a call about possible domestic violence at The Shakertons, but when he and his partner arrived on the scene, they discovered that George and Myra were merely engaged in some sporty fun in their backyard.

Theo's visit with Winnie the Pooh went great up until the moment that Pooh patted him on the head with the same paw he used to scoop honey out of the beehive, requiring a couple of vigorous shampoos that evening to get the sticky out...

3/3/16

Platoon Sergeant Landon Lakes (seen with wife Parquey) was thrilled to be reunited with members of his battalion for the anniversary of the Raising of the Flag on Iwo Jima, but a couple of things threatened to upset the evening. Lack of proper air-conditioning was beginning to cause the butter sculpture to sag and list to one side and there was a near-miss when Mrs. Fleischman almost used corpsman John Bradley's head to flavor her baked potato!

Second thoughts led to profuse sweat on Donald's brow just before the ceremony, but fortunately his little brother and best man Ronald was there to dab him down and assure him that he was not making a mistake with Cammi Rae.

Mrs. Fargo had relented and allowed Herman to scrimp on the transportation for themselves and the kids to Mesa, Arizona, but when it came to overnight accommodations, she finally put her foot down and demanded that they upgrade from a Motel 6 to a La Quinta Inn...

3/1/16

Everyone had scoffed at her the day of this portrait, but once the prints came back Dolores knew she'd made the right decision to go over Arnold's and her station wagon's paneling with a quick smear of Pledge.

The Molnars got lucky this time. When the giant tripped over his own feet one morning and fell from the sky, smashing several homes in their neighborhood, all they had to deal with was minor siding damage from his toothbrush!

Up to this moment, Harold Dean and Lavinia never believed all the tales of Mrs. Tittleberry doing her gardening topless each day at 10:00am, but now they were believers...