10/30/15

The first time Virgil took his girlfriend home to meet his folks, he worried that she might not get along with his cousin Robbie, but he needn't have worried... about them getting along anyway!

Piddles had been asking to go out for a good 15 minutes, but Vernee wanted to arrange this timed portrait with the grandkids just so. Unfortunately, milliseconds after the snap, Piddles lifted his leg onto the railing right above them.

Before approaching any hot chicks at a party, Richie liked to sidle up to the bar and practice some of his best lines into a nearby mirror...

Pat had no intention of letting his vacation in Maui be spoiled by the fact that, prior to packing, his mother had washed all his shirts in hot water and dried them on high!

With the championship on the line, the unbeaten Loaded Bases all grabbed hold of their lucky bat. Trouble is, Tommy had spread too much pine tar on it and no one could get free in time to play in the big game!

Mrs. Evans thought Petey might like to share his playpen with Stomper, but in fact he was quite unamused and not at all happy about losing prime real estate to a large plastic companion.

10/28/15

And so again, to her great relief, Susan realized that Jack was the one who wound up getting the honeycomb with a real bee inside it, making this their third box in a row in which she was spared the sting!

Finally, having arrived at Grumby's Hatch two evenings before, Walter was able to emerge and get another good look at daylight again before the next happy hour rolled around...

Now that the ceremony was complete and there was no way Trish's mother could interfere or call off the wedding, they unlocked the attic room and allowed Judith to come down to the reception for a goblet of punch and a slice of vanilla marmalade cake.

Rufus and CeCe knew that they were going to have to stand out from the crowd if they wanted any of the Los Angeles Olympics spillover traffic to try their booth, so they came up with the ingenious invention of "fresh squeezed hot dogs!"

Coming home from a long shift on his feet at Camelot Records, Jerry was ecstatic to find the fridge well-stocked with Schoenling Lager and wanted to thank Jenny for it right on the spot!

As her first Christmas without Edmund arrived, Marge was so glad she'd opted to send him to the taxidermist while also having her neighbor Mrs. Jeakins whip up several seasonal costumes that she could swap out over the months in order to make it seem as if he'd never left her!

10/26/15

A lesser known fact is that year before they became Charlie's Angels, Sabrina, Kelly and Jill collaborated on an undercover sting operation to thwart middle school purse-snatchers!

In an attempt to glean some genuine reactions out of The Bitmores, photographer Harold Nubbleman pulled open his shirt to reveal nipple piercings connected by a chain with a small plastic parakeet hanging from the center!

Relations could get a little dicey in the Ramirez household as Angela fought to keep her sisters from stealing the remote control and changing the channel from her beloved "Tony Orlando and Dawn!"

Benji was ecstatic to finally get the rod and reel he'd been hoping for on his birthday, but his mom Mary Sue was already becoming upset by the snag that were showing up in her living room curtains after an hour of him practicing his casting!

Easily one of the things ALF was going to miss when he headed back to Melmac was his neighbor Mrs. Melba's slow-roasted gumbo, but she was kind enough to pack him a sizable Tupperware container of it for the flight home.

Computer classes were becoming so hot in the mid-'80s that many classrooms were filled to capacity and students like Rich, Derrick and Stan had to claim a seat anywhere and anyhow they could!

10/23/15

Charlene only had enough money left in her trust fund for either new breasts or restorative dental work, but not both. It was clear from the reaction she got from Chester at Rosella's Italian Ziti-Fest that she'd settled on the right choice!

Anniversary party or not, Florence had just finished refinishing her parlor floor and had no intention of letting her heavy-footed friends dance the night away on it, so off to the hallway they went while she turned up the music so they could hear.

As she aged more and more Miriam Colonna's grew grayer and grayer, but strangely her mustache remained true brunette, right up until the end...

Rosamund was thrilled that Santa Claus decided to call upon her instead of skipping her house as he had for the prior two years, but she was highly displeased that he used the bedroom fireplace instead of the den and left hoof and sled marks all over her new bedding ensemble!

It took a remarkable amount of time for it to sink in for Julianne that even though Barney had brought her to The Elks Halloween Spooktacular, he was actually going to be going home with Raymond!

And so with this one snapshot, Grandma Louise was able to answer two different burning questions: Why was her jewelry box becoming more and more sparse looking over the last several weeks and how had Jessica been able to afford all the new toys and clothes that were stacking up in her walk-in closet at home?!

10/21/15

The Prickleys were having so much fun watching Lori tossing her golden beach ball around that they missed seeing the manta ray headed for Artie until it was too late!

This was intended to be a couples shot of LaVonne & Theo and
Retha & Marvin, but the camera happened to catch LaVonne while she was underwater!

Since his shift was over anyway, maintenance man Cliff didn't bother to remove his suspenders before taking a quick dip in the pond behind the school, but as the water got deeper and deeper, he did wish he'd thought to remove his key ring with all its keys!

Eager to start a family as soon as possible, since Myrna's biological time clock only had a few ticks left, she and her new husband Skip stopped by the pool on the way to their honeymoon suite to give the fertility statue a good luck rub!

Unlike Roberta and Cara Sue, Phyllis and Cherie didn't have to worry about swim caps because they knew that their triple-strength Adorn hairspray wasn't in any way going to be affected by the steam and water droplets of the whirlpool...

So as luck would have it, Barbara grabbed the wrong swimsuit when packing for her girls' weekend to Lake Michigan and unintentionally brought the bunny-tailed one she'd worn eight years prior as a Playboy Club barmaid!

10/19/15

During this spirited bit of Easter "fun," Raffles knew only one thing: In 30 seconds he was either going to be biting into a delicious egg or ripping Teddy's inflatable bunny into 23 pieces!

Originally, Mary thought she might allow E.T. to stay on Earth with Elliott, Gertie and her, but when she discovered that he'd fallen in with the wrong sort of kids, she reconsidered it and decided to ship him back into space!

Evie was still grateful to Lassie for having pulled her from a tidal pool several weeks before, but couldn't help wishing that the heroic pooch hadn't chewed off her entire ponytail in the process since a big dance was coming up and her locks hadn't fully recovered yet!

The gang took a vote and decided that it should be Ralph who went outside to feed Bowser. They even let him believe that the spare rib in his hand was to be dinner when they all knew it was actually going to be Ralph himself!

Knowing it could get a little drafty in the den, Anne Marie offered to fetch Louie a throw, but in the end he didn't need one since Perky and Lulu decided to offer their services!

At last the rec room remodel was complete and Natalie was so thrilled at the amazing deal she and R.J. got on paneling. Their only regret was that there wasn't enough leftover for them to re-do the downstairs bathroom with it as well...

10/16/15

Estelle didn't mind handing out the occasional sandwich or cup of coffee to a local drifter, but she did draw the line when ones like Lester would come on in and make themselves at home without even knocking first!

Now safely ensconced in Room 360, Martha Jo finally had time to reflect on just how bad a decision it had been to try to recreate her old fire-baton routine at the Bendl-Bachman 20th Class Reunion.

Ernie Winters loved stopping over with his parents on vacation at The Wayside Motel between Shelbyville and Miami, not only because it featured a refreshing pool, but also because the Denny's next door was "always open!"

Long after having partaken in The Grand National, Velvet Brown still enjoyed riding the occasional horse, even ones at local carnivals and festivals though her father was beginning to tire of her forever asking if she could "borrow" a quarter!

Finally Donald and Caynelle Kniewatter were able to sell their hardware store and move to Florida where they operated a highly-successful short-term rental apartment complex complete with shuttle service to and from the airport.

Evan whispered to Patty exactly what he intended to do with her as soon as he finished his Boone's Farm cognac, but she seemed less than enthusiastic about the idea...

10/14/15

Time and again, Buddy Sanzhedder was warned to avoid certain beaches during his tour of The Middle East, but he just wouldn't listen...

Denis was so hyped up about the Poison concert that when he went to cut the arms out of his shirt to make a "muscle slut" tee, he almost hacked off the letter "P!" But he still thought people could tell what it said.

Irv always had a hidden wild streak, so he gave in to it one time by cashing in his Christmas Club account and planning a trip to Montana, where he heard that some ladies wore their skirts above the calf! To prepare himself fully, he read up on the place before departing.

Feeling a little feverish while down at the river house in Butte, California, Janice Kass decided to take her temperature, but was horrified to find that she'd accidentally reached for Jack's rectal thermometer!

The Sadie Hawkins dance down at Tri-State Yacht Club was just around the corner and, as usual, Jenny had a hard time making up her mind, though she had finally narrowed her selection down to either Gib or Jason.

Barney Everett was plum sick of putting his chair out for the annual Founder's Day Parade and then having people stand in front of it, so this year he pulled his truck up to a nearby parking spot and made sure he got to see everything all right!

10/12/15

Even though this sinkhole at Deerfield Beach was only 7 feet deep, it did claim its share of unwitting victims. At least they got a good tan until they could be rescued...

It was never easy to get a particularly decent picture of The Milsaps because each one was as myopic as hell, yet not one of them would wear his or her glasses!

During a brief modern art boom in the mid-1980s, Candace made a killing with this original piece she called "Dropcloth." It was her only work at that time, but she did produce one more (under-selling) masterpiece in 1992 when she repainted the foyer of her home.

Based upon this daring and delightful publicity photo, top dollar was paid to The Slant Sisters for their tap & four-part harmony act. Trouble is, once they got to the job, the arrangers were horrified to discover that this was actually the way they stood at all times and they often wandered around in circles, bumping into each other during their choreography!

In the midst of the 1970s oil crisis and resultant inflation, Shanae found a great way to make ends meet in order to pay the rent. She slid open the dining room window and gave fortunes through the curtains, using a light-up crystal ball from Spencer's Gifts that someone had given her for a birthday.

Everyone found Raymond's headgear fetching and beyond impressive, but he did have issues getting through some of the narrower doorways and anyone taller than he had to be on the alert if they were near him and he turned his head suddenly.