4/30/20

And Now...

...The End Is Near...

File Photo: An otherwise peaceful dip in Lake Hollowbottom was about to be interrupted for Len as Uncle Horace prepared to back in and collapse onto his innertube...

An already rotten morning was made worse when Lew woke up thirty minutes late and then was unable to locate a clean uniform for his shift down at Phillips 66!

Though no one on the bus tour had been thrilled that they'd stopped at Stuckey's for some pecan logs, it was Gerald who wound up getting the worst of it from a prankish Howard Lee.

Tensions ran high at that first Mr. Munsingwear Pageant and scholarship contest, especially when Glen soared into the lead with his new kangaroo pouch briefs!

After positively stuffing herself at Cracker Barrel, Donna wondered if she was even going to be able to fit in the seat of her motor coach for the rest of the day trip!

Randall found it so annoying that he was out of batteries and had to run an extension cord from the living room out to the front yard to power his portable radio while catching some rays...

After much hemming and hawing, the gang finally got Garrison ready for his debut at the nude beach... then cruelly sent him in the wrong direction to the clothed one!

 Today, April 30th, 2020 marks seven years to the day that Krazy Kaptions has been in existence. First seeing life as a personal feature on Facebook that was very popular, I moved it to its own site in order to reach a broader audience and share the laughs. But (almost) no one came. The seven-year experiment has been fun - enhanced in no small way by the few, devout regulars who came and read and commented - but the time has come for it to end.  Compared to my principle site, Poseidon's Underworld, Krazy Kaptions received less than one percent of the hits...! Literally 0.008% of what the other site receives. And that's after seven years. So I'm afraid it's time to close the album. And with thousands - literally - of pictures posted here, I'm running out of new and fresh ways of remarking on them. There's no point in repeating myself. Thank you to everyone who supported this site and to all the countless, endearing subjects who showed up in all these beloved snapshots. You brightened my life with your vintage charm. Which brings us to...

The End!

4/28/20

Jarrod really wasn't sure how it would actually go when he switched from a dog grooming salon to a personal bathing service, but to his delight business actually doubled within two weeks!

Barney was not at all fond of his own surroundings when it came time to find a place to "go," so he used a service called LegLyft, which picked him up and took him to a lovely clean fire hydrant several blocks away!

And so Myrna and Al found out the hard way that it wasn't advisable to drop in a half hour early on their daughter-in-law Gloria on nights when she had invited them to dinner...!

4/23/20

Winona and Genevieve loved Friday nights at home watching television with their parents as a general rule, but they surely never forgot the time Mother emptied out the Husman potato chip can in order to use it for storing something else...!

It wasn't until she went to sit down at the reception dinner that Marianne regretted posing for so many pics near the event hall's misty fountain...

One of Pepper's favorite activities was heading down to the corner liquor store with her owner Gladys and helping to settle on which whisky would do for the night.

4/21/20

Easily one of The Lone Ranger's most humiliating cases was the time that Dastardly Dan made off with everything but his mask and shoes! Luckily, Tonto was on his way home from the supply store and could provide his kemosabe with an empty barrel to wear!

Mona had a mutually beneficial relationship with a few of the fellas renting the beach house next to hers. She put on a hearty spread of home-cooked vittles and they brought her a day's supply of alcohol in exchange...

Ralph's new close-cropped haircut led to severe sunburn on his first day at Pompano Beach, so he had to wear protection. Fortunately, it coordinated well with his towel.

4/16/20

As the first and only preteen mortician and funeral director in Springfield, Jason not only did a surprisingly great job, but also kept mourners' spirits light with a few yo-yo tricks directly after the graveside services...

Little Jesse Ventura's parents had an inkling that their boy was going to grow up to be a pro wrestler when he grabbed his cousin Linda's life-size doll and began battering it around his playpen, ultimately pinning it to the floor!

Sylvester just loved operating his little side-business as a Fire Island taxi driver for one. Not only did it provide welcome supplemental income, but it allowed him to get to know some of the local tourists a little bit better!

4/14/20

As she sat there with her Hi-C punch, pretzels and Pringle's, Denise had to face the fact that - even at the head table - this was the shittiest wedding reception she'd ever been a part of...

Once the new highway went in, Deerfield Terrace just wasn't attracting the same number of guests that it once had. So the owners stuffed and mounted Raymond and added him to the entrance display. Interest in the place promptly increased demonstrably.

Jessica and Frank had worried unduly that their getaway to Pebble Beach was going to be routine, but once they stumbled upon Rafael, things took a far more interesting turn and it wound up being one of their most memorable trips ever!

Leftover Bonus Easter Pic!

Carole could not have been more fortunate than to bridge her waning days as a Playboy bunny with a transitional gig as an Easter Bunny for hire.

4/9/20

Happy Easter

from Krazy Kaptions! 

Millicent did everything humanly possible to make Alexander's first Easter a special one, yet amid all the toys and trappings, it was the paper department store bag in the corner that really caught his attention...!

Although her Easter basket was sizable indeed, Sadie had been very specific about what she wanted in it. And since her parents weren't able to fulfill all of her wish list, they decided maybe they ought to remove and hide the fireplace poker before she peeled back the golden cellophane!

Ramona strenuously rehearsed a tap number in the driveway to the tune of "Easter Parade" and - on one unexpectedly violent pivot - discovered that not all her eggs were actually hard-boiled...!

Bonus Pic

Janey just HAD to have her dad stop the car so that she could pose with the "fake" giant bunny, not realizing that this had been a nuclear test site and the Lepus in question was actually quite alive... and hungry!

4/7/20

At last, after countless trips to Sears-Roebuck and Hader Hardware, Evelyn had her living room vignette just as she'd dreamed. But then those darn neighbor boys The Garveys just had to extend their baseball game into her front yard!

Vietta wanted to show off some of her new furnishings to the rest of the family, but thought it best to leave the plastic on her lampshade until the grandchildren were well gone!

Wayne was quite adrift when it came to decorating his new home, but fortunately his coworker Selena had a lot of fresh ideas and helped to make it quite a show-stopper...

4/2/20

Tony was elated to finally be invited along to a sales conference in Maui, but he hadn't counted on being pummeled by his boss Mr. Fillburn's flailing arms as they were shown the hula by some local entertainers!

Of the three Fredericksons who frolicked on the beach that afternoon, only Herte had the foresight to wear shoes in such a rocky locale. The others had to go buy Epsom salts at the local drugstore...

Competition was strenuous for the title of Miss Outer Heineburg, especially since the small village had nearly no females that fell within the pageant's age guidelines. Fredric clinched it during the swimsuit portion.

3/31/20

Having carefully selected his wardrobe, setting and pose for his first day of 3rd grade photo shoot, Toby dearly hoped that his mother Madge wouldn't screw up the shots with her fumbling use of the camera...!

Jeremy wanted this tiresome photograph to be over and done with asap because he could hear on the neighbor's portable AM radio the Ohio Players "Rollercoaster of Love" and was aching to break loose and boogie down!

Kelly Jean has been such a sour pill that morning during their soft-boiled eggs and toast that Steven couldn't resist hopping off his side of the bench without warning and sending her careening to the pavement! (Emily Ann, having been through this already, knew better than to even sit on the bench to begin with!)

3/26/20

Randolph unquestionably excelled at being a scout and had a sashfull of badges to prove it, but if the truth were known, his mother understood fully why he hadn't received his merit badge for Interior Decorating...

Phyllis ran into a whale of a problem. As she was setting her hair for the big party at her place that night, she realized she had forgotten to mail out the invitations, so she had to scribble them off in a hurry and have them sent around town by special messenger!

Everything went well enough as Eddie and Ricky posed with Huhroubah until their mother brought over only two cones of cotton candy from the snack vendor and they didn't immediately act as if they planned to share it!

3/24/20

Private Grafton's first night on KP duty was an eventful one. When asked to get rid of all the junk in his barracks, he got a bit literal and tossed Private Germain out the back door, too!

Things still went on rather swimmingly at Jace and Roger's river camp even though storms up north had turned this area into a wading pond when only yesterday it had been the shuffleboard court!

Ever since the diving board was removed at Uncle Ted's Arizona Dude Ranch and Spa, some of the visitors chose to use the foundation as a workout area; sort of a monkey bar apparatus for adults...

3/19/20

Anjelica couldn't wait to have her portrait made with Buddy in front of the decorations she'd made for the Walnut Knoll High School Starlight Promenade, but boy did she catch hell when she got home. Her mother had intended to roast some chicken for dinner and discovered they were completely out of tin foil!

File Photo: An early jam session of Deenie & the Teenies, a novelty group that was waylaid before it got off the ground when 3/4th of the members came down with chicken pox...

Stephanie and Randy were quite worried about Arnella's weight loss and fretted that she might have an eating disorder so they took her to Randy's favorite joint for a nice greasy breakfast. Problem was, she ordered two poached egg whites on dry pumpernickel toast! (And only finished half.)

3/17/20

Happy St. Patrick's Day

from Krazy Kaptions!

Patty hadn't attempted to service an entire nation yet, but was happy to drive the snakes out of peoples' backyards, one house at a time!

Glynis' favorite holiday of all was St. Patrick's Day and she always had a healthy supply of booze on hand. She started with an Irish whisky & ginger ale followed by a boilermaker, then it was usually about time to start Bill's breakfast... 

Stephanie wasn't even teething, but she knew that this was the day when she might best be able to fake it and get a little Jamison on her gums...

3/12/20

Jeanine really thought that Earl was a great guy until subtle signs began creeping up along the way, which she sadly chose to ignore...

Kerry was thrilled to be hosting his own (very first) summer party. Trouble was, he couldn't seem to keep the pool filled with water. Every time someone got out, the level was way, way down for some reason...

Yasmin did everything possible to catch Hagar's eye down at the Circle K, but got more than she bargained for on their first date when he expected her to buff his horn back at his place!