12/30/15

Second-Class New Year festivities on board the S.S. Poseidon were decidedly less glamorous than those taking place upstairs in the grand ballroom, but thanks to one Shriner and a pair of used car salesmen, most of the ladies were shown a good time...

At 12:00am, streamers went flying. At 12:25am, Dorothy Ann was finally recovered from the bottom of them!

Even though it cost her the good will of most of the table, Salome refused to wear a party hat at the New Rochelle Elks New Year's Party.

Right on cue, Baby New Year of 1949 arrived on the scene, but to the dismay of everyone, it seemed as though his diaper already needed changing!

It took a while for everyone to realize it, but prior to the annual new year toast, young Arthur had already taken a healthy gulp from the cask of
cabernet and by 12:02am was planted on his face under the table...

Reva's new year smile was short-lived as moments after this snapshot was taken, Rocco's Skeeball rebounded off the target area and landed right on her front teeth!

These couples at Morty's Beehive Inn believed they were called together at 11:55pm for a group photo, but actually Stan had enlisted them to help secure that green party hat onto LynnAnn's head!

12/28/15

As Duncan rang in 1974 at Herman Frolicke High School, he knew he was in the right place for not only did it feature an integrated faculty, but no one gave a hoot about the brown leather purse he carried to work (at far left.)

Bert Cutrite wanted to send his long-distance sweetie Dinah Sands a teasingly provocative Christmas photo, so he crept down beneath the tree and struck a hot pose. Unfortunately, one of his discs then gave way and it took three people to help him back up onto his feet!

Yes, Robbie got exactly what he wanted for Christmas, but unfortunately that only left enough money in the family budget for Timmy, Joey and Craig to receive a sweater, two pairs of underwear and a value pack of Beeman's chewing gum apiece...

For days now, Harriet had been mystified as to how some of her glass ball ornaments had been found broken on the floor of her living room each morning, so she set her alarm for 4:00am and slinked out there only to find one of her decorative carolers playing basketball with them!

Vera was being deliberately elusive as Aunt Arlene kept quizzing her about how much she paid for her new wig, but Teddy, having seen the receipt, spoiled everything by secretly letting his great aunt know the price!

At last everything was in readiness for Enid's candlelight Christmas supper for two, but as usual Carl was late getting home from his part-time job as cart collector and bagger at the A & P and nearly spoiled everything...

12/23/15

Mrs. Noshbutter told Tim to head into the living room where he'd find his present waiting under the tree. Unfortunately for Susan, this happened just as she'd lost her earring and got down on her knees among the packages to retrieve it!

No one could deny that one of the most animated Christmas gatherings came courtesy of The Gluskins, though they themselves seemed to find one spot apiece and plant themselves in it for the afternoon...

In the wake of all the holiday hubbub, Vikki sat on the couch grateful... grateful that everyone had kept her gifts in the boxes from the stores they came from so that she would know exactly where to return each one.

Missy and Cissy loved Christmas to be sure, but the best part of all was having their Daddy home for several days after he'd been so busy previously down at the tinsel manufacturing plant!

Rafe was getting a little tired of his owners' unpleasant scents so, once Santa had done his part, he crept into the living room and placed one more gift under the tree, a two-pack of Lava soap!

Mildred was highly reluctant to try Bernadette's holiday love potion regardless of how much she talked it up. Doris, however, had had a healthy gulp of it and was feeling no ill effects!

12/21/15

All the gang from Sunken Hills Chorale, in town for a choir competition, marveled at the way mezzo soprano Julene Horsetackel could scale the walls of their rehearsal space... until her rear end set off the fire alarm and even one section of sprinklers!

As Mrs. Crambottom continued to stuff the turkey for all it was worth, her cat Ronald looked on in fascinated horror and decided to admire this handiwork from a distance and, in fact, gave his owner a wide berth until well after New Year's Day.

Great Uncle Clyde had certain ideas about how things ought to be done and could not be swayed otherwise. Thus, attendants at his birthday party had to blow out the candles, which were still lit, on each slice of his or her cake, taking care to discreetly spit out any wax droplets into a party napkin...!

All the fun and frolic at Caradeen's bridal shower took a sudden turn for the dramatic when, during a spirited game of Hide the Carrot, a wild rabbit came in through the back entrance and saw what he wanted for dinner!

Nanette Danicello had been advised that if she wanted to get any work in Hollywood, she should shell out for some great publicity photos and headshots immediately upon arrival, but after six and a half months all they ever got her was a two-page spread in the shoe section of Montgomery-Ward's Christmas Wish Book and one 30-second ad for Adorn hairspray...

Although everything concerning the ceremony and reception went off without a hitch, Marsha still nursed an inner wound that her mom Wanda Lou's wedding budget couldn't accommodate a dress with as many ruffles as she had originally wanted...

12/18/15

Since they knew it was going to be loud at the Soft Cell-Gary Numan-Yes concert, Tracee and Rhett invited some of the gang such as Preston and Fredric over to their place ahead of time for a quick drink.

Simon knew he was supposed to go "on the paper," but honestly Sylvia's breakfast nook carpet was a great deal more comfortable on the feet and didn't make that annoying rustling noise when he walked on it!

Sheridan truly felt at this point that he was getting a bit too old for the annual portrait in front of the tree, but Mrs. Nicklaus was adamant that he take his usual place while she snapped a photo.

Betsy's parents knew at once that she would grow up to be a famous opera singer when they took too long warming her bottle on this otherwise peaceful afternoon.

Having slaughtered a few choice townspeople, Mr. Hyde returned home for a relaxing beer until the potion wore off and he could resume his evening as Dr. Jekyll.

Elena enjoyed outdoor excursions with her parents Maria & Ramon, but every once in a while they would drink too much regular coffee before switching to Sanka and that meant she was in for quite a wild afternoon!

Folks were startled to see a headhunter show up at Randy's 25th birthday party... and even more startled when they discovered which sort of heads he was hunting!

12/16/15

During downtime at The Pink Pickle, Charlene and Dodie often took a moment to spread out an array of cold cuts and fix themselves a quick sandwich.

Whizzer had been under strenuous paper training for a couple of weeks, but Gladys couldn't get him to figure it out at all. As soon as she stepped into his pen to help encourage him, he used her leg for a target instead!

During his break from the insurance company next door, Tony often sought to have lunch at Johnny's Cafe, known for their great steaks, but he could never get anyone to wait on him!

Barbara loved getting ready for her dates with Charlie and knew his favorite lipstick, but did fear that if he gave her any more souvenirs and mementos from their relationship for her mirror, she'd no longer be able to find her reflection in it!

This last date to Antonio's Italian Bistro sealed the deal for Brenda, who had finally had enough of sitting there while strange women (and even a few men!) came up to Stefan and told him how great looking his hair was!

After endless encouragement from some of their mod friends, Scotty and Ronald finally put away their navy blue suits and decided to live it up with some bold new looks.

12/14/15

And so it was all smiles for Bonita and would remain so until her date Chad came to pick her up in his Mini Cooper...

Without question, the one thing Albert and Billy liked most about taking the train to Grandma Jackson's house was the 20-minute stopover in McDonaldland, where they could enjoy a Big Mac, a Filet-O-Fish, a Quarter-pounder with cheese, some french fries and a shake or two.

Althea had been strenuously warned not to make her first attempt on the exercycle without a helmet, but she figured that her hair would easily provide the same degree of protection should she happen to fall over.

Lem was always bragging about how he took a longer leg length in his Garanimals than Teddy, but Teddy felt that much of the reason had to do with how high up on Lem the pants started to begin with!

Initially, Minerva thought it would be a good idea to have Janie over to wrap the kids' presents for the holiday, but after only six minutes, she'd have enough of Janie to the point where she broke out the Courvoisier and poured herself a healthy snifter of it...

After a strenuously hot morning at the archeological dig, Alex decided to quench his thirst with a hearty squirt of water, but unfortunately with his errant sense of direction Susan wound up getting hit with most of it!

12/11/15

Marnie could be something of a klutz, and even fell backwards down the steps of the altar during her ceremony, but the real debacle came after this toast when she hobbled over with Bert to cut the cake!

Mrs. Hogan didn't like to leave Terry free in the backyard ever since he and his pals trampled her begonias, so she improvised with this "playroom." Terry, however, had other ideas!

Unfortunately for him, Joe tried out his newly-healed leg with a sizable walk through the local terrain, but returned to find that the Walnut Plains field hospital had picked up stakes and abandoned the area completely!

After nagging her grandmother for months about them, Nikki finally got the new sneakers she wanted for Christmas. However, thanks to her talons, she still had to nag her grandmother each morning to help tie them!

Singing duo Rico and Barney were the worst at getting to their destinations on time since they insisted on stopping at every Stuckey's them came upon so that Rico could entertain with a tune while Barney grabbed another pecan log...

File photo of Ms. Wanda Hanks, who, though unreported in the media, was the first female launched into space because she just had to see what the interior looked like, even though the countdown to takeoff was less than 30 seconds away!!