5/30/14

Antoinette was no ordinary party girl.  Thanks to several door-to-door encyclopedia salesmen and a few guys selling Reader's Digest condensed novels, she was one of the most well-read gals on her street!

This was Clinton's favorite set of Garanimals because he knew that if he played around in (or fell into) the grass, he wouldn't get a spanking for staining his nice clothes.

No one really understood the extent of Marilyn Munster's fixation on her Uncle Herman until she brought her first fiance Lon home for a visit and his resemblance made clear her secret feelings of affection.

Thus ended the first weekend of The Life Buoys training class on South Padre Island where they were proud to note that only one hapless swimmer was drowned under their careful eyes and fast reflexes...

It gave Veronica special pleasure to know that she could take her Triumph Herald through the car wash, even with the top down, and not damage her impenetrable hairdo...

Even as she grew up into a senior citizen, Nellie Oleson never lost her spunk, managing to publicly berate her husband Percival for unsafe driving during this trip to Carlsbad Caverns.

5/28/14

Considering that they were listening to the radio, Hugh didn't quite get why Sprinkles had to sit practically on top of them during "The Lassie Show," but it finally occurred to him that Sprinkles needed a friendly arm around him during some of the more suspenseful moments of the program.

Wilhelmina thought that by marrying her daughter Felicity off, she'd managed to stifle some of her more experimental tendencies, but in actuality they never even made it to the cake-cutting before one of her old cozy pals was making her presence known!

And so the camera caught that nanosecond between the time Hillary ran out of Purina Chicken Chow and the chickens realized that they were still not satisfied...

Joan Marie felt that nothing livened up a dull party like one of her zesty ragtime pieces on the piano and many a dreary bridge party or bridal shower was brought to vivid life this way...

It was with great fanfare that alien beings Poly and Estor made their first public appearance since crashing their spaceship into the Florida Everglades.  It was fortunate that the men of NASA were able to rig up their helmets with filters that could allow them to breathe our atmosphere for extended periods of time, though they would soon be on their way back to their home planet of Prell.

Sherman was proud to be the only canine superhero of the neighborhood and happily became Mighty Mutt anytime an emergency arose, but it was still just a tad humiliating that he always had to enlist Myra's help with his cape before departing...

5/23/14

Myron was happy to find wide acceptance at Bongo Beach, despite his cross-dressing tendencies. The issue came in explaining his tan lines to Ann Louise when he got home!

As this was the eleventh self-timed snapshot in a row for Rebecca and Nipper for her yearly holiday greeting, he was reluctant to let her in on the fact that the lampshade was crooked in this one. Somehow she'd already discovered one thing or another wrong with the previous ten, thus insisting on "just one more!"

Valerie was only too happy to show Spitzie how to swim so that if she were to drop something in the pool such as a bracelet, a hair barrette or her retainer, he could dart in and retrieve it for her.

By far Father's Day was Harry's favorite holiday, for not only did it give him a chance to catch up with most of his offspring, but there was also usually one or two newcomers each year that he didn't previously know about!

Buster and Penelope thought that rules didn't apply to them and so they joyously climbed across the retaining wall that led to the old mine. They then had to wring the water out of their swimsuits and drink it in order to stay alive when the walls gave way and they were trapped for 72 hours!

Though she'd gotten quite a deal on her new armchair, Celeste wasn't sure it had the proper zing to coordinate with the rest of her apartment (or her for that matter!)

5/21/14

Knowing that, as the third child of theirs, little Theo was forever going to be nestled between his siblings in the backseat of their Dodge Dart, the Crushers decided to acclimate him to the idea early on...

Judy and Ann Marie thought it was jarring enough that Lydia brought back all that Central American artwork to redo her house, but when she began to dress the part, even for such simple occasions as a Dominos & Watercress Bruncheon, a line was drawn in the sand.

The Bay City Bruisers had dominated the women's bowling league for four years running, amazing everyone, until their star player Hermia (center) was discovered standing up to urinate in the ladies room, resulting in the stripping of their titles and a scandal that is still whispered about today!  Later, Hermia reverted back to the name Herman and emerged as a mid-level men's bowler in a nearby town.

If anyone had told Velda a year before that she would fall head over heels in love with a man who wore more lipstick than she, she would have thought them crazy, but this is just what happened when she happened to be in line behind Lucky at the Automat.

Leo and Susan loved to kick up their heels and discount all the warnings about safety on the water, though shortly after this photo was taken - and Leo "docked" their boat in the parking lot of an all-night grocery - they mutually decided that one of them should remain cold sober when yachting.

Natalie had always dreamed of landing a man with nerves of steel, an iron will and a heart of gold, but Rusty exceeded even those lofty expectations (except that he did have to decline those rare occasions to dance in the rain with her...)

5/19/14

Cliff was so happy he'd gone ahead and water-skied that morning since his third wipe-out allowed him to run into Charma.  The two of them have been together ever since and have a whole school of offspring now!

Reggie always hated time-out until the day he decided to bring Farfel along for the duration of it.  After that, he never again regretted acting up around the house!

Michelle's roommates were as patient as saints as she prepared for her upcoming audition as Esmerelda the Gypsy Girl in "The Hunchback of Notre Dame," even when the jangling of her bracelet made it impossible to either sleep or study!

Before technology advanced to the state it's at now, where cameras can easily be slid into one's pocket, burgeoning photographers like Anson had to bear the burden of lugging their devices (and the not exactly light film and flashbulbs) everywhere they went!

Neville knew there was only one way he was going to sell the most magazine subscriptions and win the top prize of a trip to The Hague, so off he went to push his wares, even in the most inclement weather imaginable...

During those long stretches of downtime at Camp Sawnloggs, Teddy liked to focus on his wife Marie and their little daughter Julie while Burt occupied his time with cheesecake art from one of his favorite magazines.

5/16/14

Enjoyable as the mermaid show was at Weeki Wachee Springs, Evelyn and Harold knew that they'd put on many more exhilarating performances in their own above-ground at home! Still, they felt no need to share this with Evelyn's mother Nora Jean.

Clint and Sara Beth had finally gotten through the ceremony and were eager to begin their married life together, though it didn't dawn on them until this very second that Clint's close buddy and best man Ryan had every intention of tagging along on the honeymoon!

Not content only to have rescued Ingmar from the horrors of a hiking mishap in St. Moritz, Bartholomew also insisted on walking him to Our Mother of the Precipice grade school each day even though he was really quite fine now!

And so another potentially charming and romantic photograph of Ferlin and Sue Ann was spoiled because he'd momentarily forgotten just how much Turtle Wax he'd spread on the trunk of his car that morning.

Any second thoughts that Chip Lambskin might be having about his impending nuptials to Dionne were swiftly quashed by her father the morning of the ceremony...

Initially, the neighborhood children of Chase, Wisconsin were delighted by the folly of an Easter Egg Hunt, but things quickly devolved once Paulie and Charles caught a whiff of chloroform... 

5/14/14

On the surface everything seemed fine enough at the reunion, but in actuality Raynelle (upper left) was seething that she'd overheard Aunt Lottie (lower right) describe her peach pie crust as being "'bout as tender as an alligator handbag!"

As Juleann readied for round two of her dance practice as "Jet Girl #4" in Low Flank High School's presentation of "West Side Story," Barbara took cover behind a kitchen chair, having already been slugged a couple of times during round one!

It was a long and terrible walk down the hill past all the neighboring plantations, and she even fell and tore the knee out of her tights, but Molly Sue loved the penny candy at Mr. Shufflemeyer's store and that made it all worthwhile...

After the bank job in Sanderson, Texas, Clyde was ready to high tail it out of town and quick, but Bonnie never could resist the chicken served at the local diner, so they pulled off the road briefly for a replenishing snack.

Grandma June didn't particularly care whether the family was "roughing it" or not.  Come suppertime, she felt it necessary to dress in her customary fashion and insisted on proper (picnic) table manners from everyone.

And so at the stroke of midnight, Elaine decided to show everyone her party trick of how to clear everything off a table without the use of her hands...

5/12/14

Ever the copycat, Monica saw that Cheryl was having her portrait taken out by the mailbox, so she ordered Richie to snap a picture of her bringing in the groceries so that her next-door neighbor wouldn't have a leg up on her when it came to 3x3 snapshots sprinkled through the house.

Cliff was headed off to town in the truck, but Leoda needed two cups of corn meal from her neighbor Maisie right away, so she hopped on Champ and rode over to collect it asap!

Always one of the more progressive families in Salt Lick, The Geicos took in Ogg the caveman and raised him as if he were one of their own.  He repaid them by always ensuring that there was meat on the table...

Since several of the city's bylaws had fallen off the books, the prostitutes in Daytona Beach, Florida had gotten so brazen that they took to standing on the street corners with signs promoting their prices right on them!

Bath time was never one of Monique's favorite activities, but it was made especially hellish whenever Clara had forgotten to remove the breakfast dishes from the sink before dropping her in the soapy water!

After this fourth disastrous attempt, Felicity decided it was time to shelve her once-promising re-enactment of Shirley Temple's dance on the stairs with Bill "Bojangles" Robinson from "The Little Colonel" and go inside to play with her Spirograph.

5/9/14

A rare snapshot taken during a training film at the Filmore Prophylactic Company, in which a gaggle of local housewives were brought in to do quality and standards testing on the product before packaging.

Thanks to their vastly different backgrounds, no one thought that the union of Penelope and Marmaduke would last beyond a few months, but after the birth of her second child, it was clear that their marriage was going to make it over the long haul...

After Roxanne fed Sandy one of her famous Harvey Headbanger apéritifs, it was clear that she was going to need a little help getting Sandy up off the sofa and ready for dinner!

The mid-spring cyclone which swept through Cherryvale left a lot of debris in The Uggingtons backyard, but Rufus was happy to pitch in any way he could to help clean up.

For their third date, Marcy and Randall engaged in a heated game of Monopoly.  After Marcy put a hotel on Park Place and wiped him out, however, Randall never proceeded with a fourth date.

One could always tell when summer arrived in Knobby Ash, Illinois because the Herb the mailman switched his uniform to shorts, as Harriet and Leatha were quick to notice!