12/31/14

Having effectively escaped the Nazis from their occupied Austrian homeland and now quite close to the Swiss border, The Von Trapps relaxed for a momentary hour or two of fun and frolic before heading down the last mountain to their new life...

Hazel splurged on a first class plane ticket, a deluxe suite and even an expensive cut and color for her long-awaited trip to Hawaii. The downside was that this only left enough money for a D-level gigolo such as Sam to show her the wonders of the island...

Hildegarde and Betty watered and fed little Todd and got him as much sunlight as they dared, always with the hope that he'd eventually spring up and blossom into the son and grandson they'd always hoped for.

Ilse and Gretyl were quite proud of their little chalet and kept it clean as a whistle. Company, such as Christy Marie shown here, was always welcome, though anyone with dirty feet had to keep them outside the formal living space.

Weekends with Grandma Yvonne and Grandpa George were always fun, but were especially delightful for the older two grandkids, Kurt and Judy because they'd discovered where Yvonne kept the Seagram's 7.

Torn even at this early age between becoming a bantam weight boxer or a dramatic actor, Ollie ultimately split the difference and became a professional wrestler with the WWF.

And a VERY Happy New Year to everyone visiting Krazy Kaptions!

12/29/14

When the entrance gate at Fort Sommers was damaged, Colonel Maginot had a new one ordered immediately, but swiftly cancelled it when he found out that Lt. Mike "Ironfoot" Brembo was capable of stopping anyone who wished to enter without any need for such a barrier...

File photo of local troublemaker Richard Holmes, who had a nasty habit of shocking female customers at the soda shoppe, particularly when they ordered banana splits, causing the Purity brand of ice cream to be anything but!

It had been a great Christmas morning for Tyrone and he truly "pitied the fool" who woke up and failed to find a Mr. T. action figure under his tree!

At the Lewinsky High School FBLA meetings, held at junior Donna Oates' house, appearance was stressed far more than skills such as words typed per minute or stenography...

Things might have looked jovial at Hazel Lee's afternoon cotillion, but she was no dummy. After both Raina and Suzanne had snubbed her with their own parties, she made certain to situate both of them in target range of Trigger, her parakeet who suffered from irritable bowel syndrome...

Now safely back in Kansas, Dorothy Gale thought it would be a great idea to have the now-brave Cowardly Lion out for an extended visit, but one broken vanity, a tattered hall rug and a set of shredded drapes later, she was forced to rethink the idea and send him on his way.

12/24/14

Wishing you all a VERY Merry Christmas! 

(Several bonus photos today.)

Everyone told him it was the "hap-happiest season of all" and that Santa was a valued friend, but Albie remained unconvinced...

They could take all the snapshots they wanted. This was NOT the purse Edna Kay picked out down at Kresge's and she wasn't going to smile until somebody took it back and got her the one she asked for!

And so, without warning, the town square of Morris, Minnesota was strangulated by the jaw-dropping appearance of Nibbles the cat who not only wanted a good seat for the drive-in showing of "Thomasina," but also thought he smelled fish 'n chips cooking at the refreshment stand!

Ronnie's plane from Greenville-Spartanburg International Airport was delayed by a freak hailstorm, so the other non-college-age kids from The Malph Family had to improvise during the annual portrait.

JoAnn, Merle and Shirley were asked to improvise a number about what the joys of Christmas meant to them. They meant more to some than others!

Jed actually hadn't intended to come home quite this early for the holiday, but after an incident in which the tree toppled over onto his mom Gunilla and broke her hair, he zipped back to town, deciding then to stay on through New Year's Day.

Josh had an idea of what was under the wrapping of this present, but just in case someone slipped up and it wasn't what he expected, he'd packed his Schrade-Walden switchblade to help make things right...

Grandma Wilma enjoyed seeing Levon and all, but time was gettin' on and she had people to see and places to go-go...

It became readily apparent to Bruce that even after all the fun and festivities he'd managed to bring to the Arizona Implements office party, he was still going to be stuck with merely a half-size wall calendar featuring a dozen examples of their latest or most popular equipment.

Bethany was sick to death of being outdone by The Davises when it came to outdoor holiday decorations and lights, so this year she got an early start and by Thanksgiving had a homestead that would make even an elf jealous!

12/22/14

As the walking tour of Ione's doll-laden efficiency apartment continued, Bernadette began to wonder if a) there were going to be any refreshments and b) where in the hell they were going to sit down if there were!

Karen's surprise party for her pal Tish was finally starting to peter out, so she decided to kick off her shoes and have a piece of cake, but all she could scrounge after the vultures had descended on it was this broken, smushed hunk that had somehow been left on the platter...

It had been a long, long winter, so as the spring thaw hit, Fred decided it was time to give his sons, Butch and Patrick, their biannual haircuts. Butch was happy as a clam about it, but Patrick was putting up some resistance...

Leatha was impressed at the blind date that her sister Vonda invited over for her, but with Vonda and Myron crammed in the center of the sofa, she could hardly get Bert's attention from way down at the other side!

Since there was no way that The Perrys could spend all the time at their villa on Lake Como, they commissioned a mural for their formal living room so that they could at least still have the amazing view, even when back in Punxsutawney.

With the humans steadfastly hogging the beach umbrella to keep cool, Bowser had to improvise when it came to finding his own personal shade...

12/19/14

Joyce and Sherm couldn't rely on the clock radio to keep correct time, so they invested in a sailboat clock to sit atop the TV, ensuring that they would know exactly when it was time for that week's episode of "Adventures in Paradise" starring Gardner McKay!

Brett and Kristin, THE hot new couple at Nab Hill High School, couldn't believe their luck when they were cast together as Lun Tha and Tuptim in the 1984 production of "The King and I!"

And so an otherwise routine day at Nibbleworth Petting Zoo was interrupted by the spectacle of Reno and Chet, two rodeo cowboys on their day off, chasing down various goats and llama to practice their hogtying and branding skills!

After hearing her ranting about the horrors of detention, Principal Flushing decided he'd give Patty something to really complain about, so he sent her off to the boy's locker room with orders to scrub out the urinals!

Steve liked the ocean close, but his girlfriends closer, which was fine with Marla and Renate except for the fact that they always had arm shaped tan lines across one shoulder when they got home from the beach...

A shy person anyway, thanks to her excessive height, Allison was particularly afraid to drop her towel and show off her figure in a clingy swimsuit during a day at Hayes Beach.

12/17/14

As her limbo pole got lowered further into the red zone, Lolita began to wish that she'd chosen a minimizer instead of the bullet bra she'd selected that evening.

Just one more of the many fringe benefits of a stay at Upright Timber Mountain Hideaway was personal hair highlighting applied by the resident stylist/masseuse Colt Armstrong.

As Monday was laundry day at Rusty Hinge's Traveling Carnival, Sundays could sometimes involve questionable attire as the workers ran to the last of their viable options for clothing. Norv, for example, was down to this ill-fitting tank-top, won at the ring toss game several years beforehand...

So the Miss Rhode Island competition came to its frenzied conclusion with virtually everyone present ecstatic over the winner, though Miss Peace Dale remained reticent about the decision.

With the Sophomore Sno-Ball Dinner Dance on the horizon, Mary Agnes decided to go all the way and requested a "Marilyn" from her beautician down at Tres Elegantz Cosmetology Institute.

While the majority of the guests were pleased enough with the match, Thomas really questioned whether Irving was truly the best groom that his daughter Sandra could find for herself.

12/15/14

And so, after nine long months of remodeling, Johnny's basement bar and rec room was finally completed. Now the tougher task of obtaining some actual friends to come over and make use of it began...

Always the entrepreneur, Maureen decided to put the TV Guides into the slot meant for Reader's Digest and insert some her own recipe booklets into the Reader's Digest slot on top, thus cashing in on all those years of collecting dog-eared delicacies from old magazines and even older relatives.

Whenever the Gibbons brothers got together to cook breakfast for mom, it was up to Chester to scramble the eggs and saute them with the ham and potatoes and it was up to Danny to pick out the stray chest hairs before the meal could be plated up!

Denise thought she'd gotten everything sewn up the way she wanted, but then was presented with a cloth-bound, 20-page pre-nuptial agreement from Darryl's family that she was expected to sign before the ceremony could take place the following morning...

With the help of her fellow consultants, Venetia hoped to finally rid Clarice, once and for all, of those dreadfully thin, misshapen eyebrows that had gotten under her skin since their first meeting three months prior.

Cheryl was delighted that Santa brought her not only one but two Barbies for Christmas, complete with a wardrobe of stunning fashions. Unfortunately, brother Scotty was already earmarking them for use as targets with his own treasured present, a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle...

12/12/14

Although she adored him, one thing Alice loathed about having Champ around was the twice-weekly sojourns to the yard in order to pick up his dog doo. But after donning her boots and knocking back a quick three-finger shot of Beefeater gin, she was usually fortified for the task...

Angela loved her job as a demonstration model on the little-known TV game show "Kitchenette Crossword," though it did get rather trying having to be down at the studio by 5:00am on taping days for makeup, wardrobe and a quick pick-out by hairdresser Beverly.

Well, the big day was finally here and Danny wanted to be positive beforehand that groomsmen Troy and Clifford had all their moves down pat for the "Saturday Night Fever"-themed wedding processional he had planned for unsuspecting bride Karen.

Julius generally had a great time during his stays with Grandma Marx and she was always able to gently bounce him to sleep on her lap. It was waking up to those busy throw pillows that typically caused him to fuss for a few minutes.

No one down at the Elks Lodge 181 was more popular on the dance floor than Dolly. No matter who she whirled around with or whether they stepped on her feet or not, she always kept a smile on her face and demonstrated a happy attitude!

Ever since Ringo found out that casting directors were on their way to Villa Rica, Georgia to find Dalmatians for an upcoming movie, he'd positioned himself on the front lawn in costume, hoping for his one big shot at stardom...