5/31/13

This rare publicity photo is from the pilot for "My Five Sons."  After testing poorly with sample audiences, the whole thing was recast and pared down to what later became the long-running hit "My Three Sons."

Jessie found work as a prostitute at Disneyland more than a little challenging, what with people seeming to be far more interested in the glory of Tomorrowland than what she had to offer...

Hilda found out the hard way that it was never advisable to pose in a dark suit this close to a busy and well-stocked birdhouse.

Nancy may have been offering some delicious dessert at her Riparian afternoon tea affair, but Denise trumped her by serving up major cheesecake, and how!

Summer in Walnut Grove could mean only one thing to young Laura "Half-Pint" Ingalls... swimsuit season!

As Linda Sue readied herself for her second try at a date through the Twinthickle Lonelyhearts Match-Up Association, she prayed that this next man wouldn't have a gold tooth or be picking her up in another Ford Ranchero...

If Albert was going to continually and publically run down Dorothy Ann's recipe for Goetta Ritz Surprise casserole, she could at least take comfort in knowing she'd replaced his Brylcreem with airplane model glue.

5/30/13

Elaine had gotten so good at throwing her voice and manipulating her ventriloquist doll, many people thought that baby Brigitte was the real deal!

Noble experiment as it was, Jonathan and Effie decided in the end that it was best to let little Clifford ride INSIDE the car on their way home from great uncle Ralph's farm. 

Loveliness and glamour abounded at the Quail Creek Country Club Beauty Pageant and Canasta Tournament, but in the end there could only be one "Jennie."

Despite only having come in fourth at the Greenapple South Pole Craft Show, Gina was proud of her holiday-tinged ensemble and next time would ensure that her earmuffs reached all the way down to her ears. 

It staggered Dirk that he'd only had his fiance Carolyn in the house to meet the family for 7 minutes before big brother Clark moved in like a wolf!

Marjean felt so successful at having gotten Sue Lynn's panties bright white again after that bout with the swine flu, she wanted the whole world to know!

While everyone else at the pool party searched high and low for the source of that awful stench, Theodore, predictably, returned to the scene of the crime and confessed... 

5/29/13

Known far and wide for his talent in chainsaw-carving, Wilhelm had turned the old tree stump out front into a surprisingly convincing statue of his one-time faithful friend Champ.

As Mimi put the finishing touches on her hairdo (and tossed the depleted can of Super Hard to Hold Aqua Net into the wastebasket), she felt relieved that she'd thought to cover her delicate silk lamp-shade with plastic before beginning the procedure.

Evaline and Connie might have been all smiles at the Woodburn Ladies Association monthly meeting, but Noreen had already decided at this point that there was no way in hell she was going to let them change the annual Pancake Breakfast into a Build-Your-Own Lunchmeat Sandwich Mixer.

The Kellys spared no expense in making their yearly Halloween party THE social event of the season, but even they were usually ready to wrap it up when the clock struck 3:30am.  

Arturo had made his way across the border undetected, but knew in his heart that if he truly intended to assimilate with the rest of middle-American society, he was eventually going to have to lose the hat and his treasured mustache...

Cathy Lynn was ecstatic about her new bicycle, but had been warned from the start not to ride it in the house!  The Wilsaps never were able to find a replacement leg for their piano that truly matched the other one.

Of all the "fun," quality time activities young Byron shared with his father, archery practice was, for some reason, his least favorite. 

5/28/13

Regardless of whether the portrait was for posterity or not, The Hafflid Family was not interested in opening their eyes all the way unless they deemed it completely necessary.

Even from her earliest age, Celeste's mother knew that her little girl had a propensity for becoming a purveyor of idle gossip. 

Once again, Toby's third-place finish in the Buchanan County Diving Association contest took a back-seat to Cloris' new perm. 

Even taking into account the extra 12x12 peach cobbler he was given to take home, Howard was finding it tiresome to give both Edna and Great Aunt Clarice "pony" rides during every one of their monthly get-togethers. 

Though Lenore had been rescued three full years now from her four-month-long ordeal with the cannibals, occasionally, during moments of stress, those old urges bubbled back to the surface. 

Until Sylvia could fully adjust to her new glass eye, certain precautions would have to be made... 

Before the shipwreck, Arnold was a 5'8", 165-pounder, but upon his rescue, Rascal still recognized his whittled-down owner. 

5/27/13

Alexander adored spending the day on the beach with little Bruno, but had some serious trouble explaining the tan lines on his chest in the shape of dog ears.

And so, with its customary flourish of frantic ecstasy, the annual Delray Beach fashion show and pot luck supper drew to its conclusion. 

The early days of network TV were so riddled with repeat programming that Theodore often found it necessary to fortify himself with a Pabst Blue Ribbon before submitting to a fourth airing of the same episode of "Captain Video and His Video Rangers."

Even though, as they wore on, they tended to bring with them the threat of streams of verbal abuse and drunkenness, Rodney still looked forward to his dad's occasional weekend visits from Sing Sing as part of their pre-release program.

Though she was generally a good little girl, Carol Sue could occasionally be mischievous enough on report card day to lock her mother in the car and prevent her from getting to read it right away...

Tammy was so moved by "The Lion King" that everything else in her life was threatened with taking a back-seat to it.  She'd even decided to abandon her prior love of Fenton red glassware in exchange for this new obsession.  Yet looming on the horizon was the potential for another fixation.  Lady Liberty seemed to be calling to her.

We know that Superman fought crime as Superboy as well, but few people know about Batman's early days as Batboy.  Fortunately, this rare photo of him nabbing an underworld figure survives in order to document this important part of hero history!

5/24/13

With all the Sunoco, Elder-Beerman, Glier's Meats, Gold Circle, Kresge and E-Jay's Salon bills finally paid off in full, Valerie now celebrated the fact that she could get not only her kitchen cabinets resurfaced, but could also finally have that nicked front tooth repaired. 

Dr. Murdoch found Alvin and Spencer to be THE most dramatic case of dissimilar fraternal twins he'd ever come across in his considerable career. 

Sylvia knew that, despite a vague edge of impersonality from the decor to her nameplate, she was going to love her job at Eastern-Northern Life Insurance.

Wally was confident enough in his recent deprogramming that he felt a clear and true attraction to Priscilla (flyaway cowlick and all), but Cliff and Myron weren't quite to his stage yet. 

Until such time as Rodger took back the remarks he made about the way her chest looked in her new Mabley & Carew mini-dress, Yvette felt he could stay on the floor where he belonged, like any other dog. 

Valentine's Day had been a real bust, but as long as RaeJean had Murphy to cuddle up with, Leroy could take his F.W. Woolworth bracelet and his long-stemmed carnation and stuff them! 

Regardless of whether Herb wanted her to turn around and smile for a picture, it was Oscar night and Monique (tissue box within reach) wasn't going to risk missing any part of the annual In Memorium tribute. 

5/23/13

The 82nd Annual Founder's Day Parade was only moments from beginning and Rosalind was frantic that her mother wanted her to pose for a snapshot at this ill-timed juncture.  Cranberry Grove was desperate for her red carpet commentary on all the floats and parade participants!

Too many people were fooled by this photo of the Norrises into thinking that they were actually athletic.  Those in the know realized that Sandra and Chuck never made it past three lobs in a row, that Skip wore a nose plug in order to submerge beneath the water and that Alan had only made four baskets in two years of playing!

Helena found out in the most vivid and unforgettable way that her roommate Melba had entertained a gentleman caller the night before when she pulled back the shower curtain to ask "Melba" if she could borrow her eyelash curler.

Todd understood it to a point when no one believed his story that Chim-Chim had blinked his eyes at him the previous morning, but it unsettled him greatly when he found out that no one believed that Chim-Chim was now making subtle threats to his safety and even hinting at bodily assault!

Even though it seemed to happen every time, Marjorie could never understand why Aunt Tonja and Uncle Carl felt the need to leave whenever she and her father launched into their vocal & accordion rendition of "Under the Yum Yum Tree."

No other year end festivity ever compared to the ebullient stage show that Cy and Verna Pendlebaum put on at the Fairview American Legion Hall every December 31st at 6:45 pm.

Tasty, blissfully unaware, had no reason to complain at this time that Suzanne seemed bent on fattening him up. 

5/22/13

Ralphie really didn't care how many times Jocelyn decided to demonstrate the ease and safety of a flea bath, he was NOT going to get into that tub! 

While the couch was comfortable enough, Fantine had really reached her limit with the loud parties that Chet, Billy and Dianne continuously threw... 

Little Eric didn't know it at the time, but this was the very last occasion during which he would pull on Cain's choke-collar for fun. 

Penelope could beam all she wanted to over little Snowball. Edgar had no intention in the slightest of allowing that "precious" cat to exist on his turf. 

Fun was fun, but Rascal wasn't about to let Monica put the same eyebrows on him that she was sporting! 

Patches felt that this was a great deal of work just to earn one of Evelyn's under-seasoned green beans, but the whole routine seemed to make her happy and that's what was important... 

Frankly, Snickers was glad that Milt's eyes were closed in the picture. He didn't want to be on the cover of his homemade rockabilly album anyway!